Attachment style vs Duality showdown!

[Adam Strange]

For anyone interested in Attachment theory and how the three main types interact, I recommend buying the following books:

Bad Boyfriends - Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner, by Jeb Kinnison. A very good overview.

Avoidant - How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner, by Jeb Kinnison. Also very good.

Insecure in Love - How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It, by Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD.

When I was trying to repair my marriage, I bought about thirty books on the subject of long-term relationships and how to maintain them. The above books were the best ones on Attachment theory. They actually convinced me that, while I could find a way to compromise myself and live with my Avoidant wife, I didn't want to, because of what it would do to me.

I also bought The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John M. Gottman, PhD. In this book, Gottman stresses the importance of answering bids for attention from your partner, and I extrapolated the idea that successful bidders and repliers would most likely be Duals.

Which has brought me to where I am now: Looking for an intelligent, attractive, Secure Dual of any age, who would also be a good mother. (Because mine was not. Lol. And kindness and understanding play a big, big part in LTR's.)

Trying to put myself in a new place every day, because she's out there and my sitting around the house or working long hours isn't going to find her.