Originally Posted by
Tallmo
But Adam is older than you (I assume), and dating gets harder as time goes by and all good ones are taken.
I found duals pretty fast when I was new to socionics and wanted to date. Just through an online dating site. We spent a summer together. It wasn't that good for some personal reasons, but that's precisely why I got a better understanding of duality. Because duality is an objective phenomenon. The basic chemistry was always there. She was Creative subtype. I later met other (and more compatible) duals through social dancing.
At one point I and a LII friend of mine were "dual-hunting" together. I remember when he had just met and ESE at a dance and they were talking. I had to leave quickly because they totally occupied the conversation. No need for me anymore. The opposite thing happened when he had been on a date with an ILE and I also met her. Suddenly she and I were talking and he was the outsider.
It's almost a technical thing. You might not have anything in common, but your reactions and interaction become natural. They just flow.
But I'm not trying to tell you to leave your gf. If I were you I would probably ask her to marry me. Activation is compatible and all people have flaws.
Good description. I feel the same with LIIs. They drain me and pull out too much Fe from me.
My own view on duality right now is that it can be fantastic chemistry and a bliss. But it can also be deceptive because the chemistry kind of takes over and makes you forget that there is maybe not so much real human connection and understanding. (It can be, but not always). I think it is best to look for someone with a decent socionics relation (same quadra + semidual) but someone whom one can genuinely relate to, not just socionically but in a more general way.
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