Narcissists: Engage or Ignore?

[Coeruleum Blue]

Do you believe narcissists should be engaged as if they were in touch with reality, or should they be ignored? On the one hand, I believe we should treat people in the best way possible rather than damning them to a complete lack of regular interaction, but on the other, it seems like there's really a point of no return, at least as long as they show no self-awareness of any kind. Also, before that point is reached, it seems like people usually say and do things they define themselves by for good or bad. I vote Ignore, at least after you know they're a narcissist. If they show genuine self-awareness, you can Engage again, but you should never be the one to initiate that since there are much better people out there than people who may or may not sincerely or insincerely become reasonably mature if prodded. What do you think?

[Hays]

The long term effects of continuing to engage with narcissists is often that you will not like what you yourself have become.

[voider]

I try to ignore, but it's hard when you live with one. I've tried to talk some sense into them but it's pretty useless, as you said already. There's vehement denial and trying to make me seem as if I'm the one delusional, and they the victim. There was only one instance when this happened when I directly brought it up, but in general they just continously make themselves the victim of every situation and it's a bit hard to ignore that when there needs to be a productive solution. So me and the other members of my family do a mix of engage-ignore, which is, engage until it's apparent that we aren't being heard, ignore the dramatics, then engage again. Yes, it's a bit exhausting. I suppose the best one can do is continuously reassess their own selves and try not to be much affected by it, no matter how hard that may be.

[mclane]

Destroy. However, if they have power over you, you might have to ignore.

[ashlesha]

You should be cautious with people seem to have a higher risk of being abusive*, and when possible, you should avoid people who have a conscious or unconscious goal of hurting you. I hear the term "no contact" with respect to narcissists and I think it's because they're skilled at pulling you in and because there's an instinctive urge to create sense of things, or sometimes, as mclane shows lol, to destroy (or be the winner, or at least not the goddamn victim)

I'm not sure if you're talking about toxicity or just a fluffed up ego. The latter can be a little amusing from a distance (when not annoying as fuck)

*when I say abusive I mean inflicting cruelty for the purpose of control over an extended period in close relationships and not...feisty

[Coeruleum Blue]

You should be cautious with people seem to have a higher risk of being abusive*, and when possible, you should avoid people who have a conscious or unconscious goal of hurting you. I hear the term "no contact" with respect to narcissists and I think it's because they're skilled at pulling you in and because there's an instinctive urge to create sense of things, or sometimes, as mclane shows lol, to destroy (or be the winner, or at least not the goddamn victim)

I'm not sure if you're talking about toxicity or just a fluffed up ego. The latter can be a little amusing from a distance (when not annoying as fuck)

*when I say abusive I mean inflicting cruelty for the purpose of control over an extended period in close relationships and not...feisty

I'm definitely talking about toxicity, because otherwise I'd just be complaining about what's basically healthy if often annoying even if you have a fluffed up ego too. I mean it would be unpleasant for rich, famous, well-connected, or well-educated people to run around unwashed and dazed like "looka me, a'm so 'umble!"

I don't see how going no contact with narcissists helps because if you're doing things right, they should be the ones going no contact with you, though a word of warning: they might end up dead if they can't avoid the public sufficiently. I haven't seen any commit suicide, but all the ones I know who can't avoid masses of non-victim people seem to die of sickness prematurely which in many cases seems the same if for example they're lonely and don't take care of themselves, and I do think statistically they do commit suicide a lot more often.

[Beautiful sky]

Are they officially typed as a narcissist or are you calling it? I have never met one and people say there are so many. Where are these narcissistic people??? Anyway they can do whatever they want as long as they aren’t hurting people

[mclane]

Destroying them is the best course of action because: a) If they are really a narcissist, they can potentially recover, or they might be beyond help. Either way, destroying them is a good method of ascertaining this and cathalizing the potential change.
b) If they are attacking you, you must defend yourself. Don't do them the favor of providing them with the satisfaction that they're getting to you. Simply engaging them is not enough; if you engage them make sure it is to destroy them. Otherwise simply ignore them and starve them of attention, but keep in mind that they will most likely find another person to torment.

[flames]

Engage lightly to give them a shred of satisfaction then ignore to crush it.