sbbds does a questionnaire thoroughly

[Alonzo]

I'm always particularly impressed, inspired and relieved by logical types that, having endured great trauma, run towards conscientiousness, empathy and compassion instead of away from them, which in all honesty is much easier for us to do (considering how we are cognitively predisposed to consciously deprioritize ethics based decision making). Kudos and much respect on that accord.

I legit believe that mistreatment from parents/family/peers/a community/a society, and especially accompanied by opposing quadra values, can really do a number on the psyche. IME, the suppression and repression of one's ego functions are the quickest way to externally induced "depression." The silver lining could be that this forces us to engage with the weaker aspects of the psyche, thereby prompting growth, albeit uneasily and painfully in some cases (particularly as far as Super-Ego functions are concerned). Though I think that this can induce a form of neurosis, beyond that there can be self-actualization if you can push past it.

Looking at your goals and ambitions, it seems as if you're using your ESTp "implementer" energy within an NF organizational context, which theoretically makes complete sense. I know an SLE and LSI who work for the United Nations (development aid) and are veritable demigods in their ability to affect positive change (read: to do 'good') due to the fruitful marriage of their subconscious NF with their conscious ST--a marriage that was first prompted by the acknowledgement of/engagement with their underlying NF needs--they had harsh upbringings in war torn environments. Personally speaking, the most fulfilled I've ever been has come from using my abilities to aid and support [Gamma] SF endeavors > the freedom to [concretely] express one's individuality/personal desires/tastes/talents. Utterly gratifying.

All things considered, it seems to me that you are well on your way to "wholeness" in the concrete and abstract, which should be everyone's final destination. Good for you.