View Poll Results: Who has the biggest lobster?

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  • Jordan Peterson

    2 33.33%
  • David Foster Wallace

    3 50.00%
  • Other (please comment below)

    1 16.67%
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Thread: Whose Lobster is Bigger

  1. #1

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    Question Whose Lobster is Bigger

    Vote for the biggest lobster!

  2. #2
    Enlightened Hedonist Subteigh's Avatar
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    David Foster Wallace I guess, but I'm disappointed that Gérard de Nerval wasn't in the poll.

    Nerval had a pet lobster, which he walked at the end of a blue silk ribbon in the Palais-Royal in Paris. According to Théophile Gautier, Nerval said:

    Why should a lobster be any more ridiculous than a dog? ...or a cat, or a gazelle, or a lion, or any other animal that one chooses to take for a walk? I have a liking for lobsters. They are peaceful, serious creatures. They know the secrets of the sea, they don't bark, and they don't gnaw upon one's monadic privacy like dogs do. And Goethe had an aversion to dogs, and he wasn't mad.

  3. #3
    Head chef on the SS Diarrhea Grendel's Avatar
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    BIG

    MEATY

    CLAWS

  4. #4
    Muddy's Avatar
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    I don't think it matters who has the bigger lobster. Kermit's lobsters are able to parasitically burrow into people's brains and turn them into his minions for achieving world domination.

  5. #5
    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Let's be honest: lobster size does matter.

  6. #6
    Muddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    Let's be honest: lobster size does matter.
    Not when you control a massive army of zombified cultist that can kill off any and all competition.

  7. #7
    Uncle Ave's Avatar
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    Donald J Trump.


  8. #8
    Uncle Ave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muddy View Post
    Not when you control a massive army of zombified cultist
    For the record, the Donald has that, too.


  9. #9
    ♰CHRIST IS KING♰ MrInternet42069's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    Let's be honest: lobster size does matter.
    So does shell size

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Muddy View Post
    Not when you control a massive army of zombified cultist that can kill off any and all competition.
    Yes, but you still only have tiny meatless claws, so how can you enjoy it?

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Subteigh View Post
    David Foster Wallace I guess, but I'm disappointed that Gérard de Nerval wasn't in the poll.
    I used to want to try to walk a tarantula. My parents were not enthused and forbid me from having any non-mammal pets. Thanks for reminding me that walking a tarantula is a great idea even if people are scared.

    I have no idea how a lobster would survive long on land even if you got it to comply.

    Can lobsters survive out of water?

    "Lobster out of water" sounds like the title for something indeterminate that hasn't been made.

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