ESI/LIE Conversations

[Adam Strange]

This isn't exactly a conversation, but it is an interaction.

My relationship with an ESI-Fi is doing a slow-motion crash and burn, even though its platonic. This is bothering me a lot.

This lesbian ESI-Se who I think is almost perfect has helped me a bit in texting the ESI-Fi (so the ESI-Fi won't be shocked by the natural differences between an ESI whom she understands, and an LIE who seems like a space alien) and she's seen her picture, but she thinks the relationship is doomed and advised me to date someone else.

Well, I thought. I have someone in mind, but I'm not a girl.

Man, the ESI-Fi just isn't ready for a relationship, and I'm feeling sorry for what might have been. I did something that I never would normally do; I took a screenshot of a naked porn actress who looks almost exactly like her, and now it's on my phone's picture gallery. I've been meaning to delete it to restore my self-pride, but I haven't yet.

Yesterday, I was going to show the ESI-Se pictures of my place in the country to point out where she can have a bonfire for her birthday party, and we were both looking at my phone when the gallery came up with the tiny picture of the naked porn star amongst the scenery pics. It's exactly the kind of picture that a guy might take of a beautiful woman whom he's just had sex with. She's sitting there looking nice and warm and Fi introspective.

Shit, I thought. I tilted the phone away from her and cleared my throat and said "Wait a minute. Let me find it." But I'm pretty sure she saw it. She may have mistaken it for a picture of the ESI-Fi, since they look almost identical.

After I found the right pictures, I handed her the keys to the place and she thanked me. Then she looked at me and made a quick phone call to a male friend of hers.

Now, I don't care if she has sex with women, but I'm insanely jealous of the fact that she's hanging out with guys. I try to be cool about this, but she's smart and a feeler and I think it's prudent to assume that she knows how I feel about her and how I feel about her with other men.

So now I'm wondering if we were testing each other? "Hey, do you like me? Am I the most important person in your life, or don't you care that I might be seeing someone else?

[EUDAEMONIUM]

Now, I don't care if she has sex with women, but I'm insanely jealous of the fact that she's hanging out with guys. I try to be cool about this, but she's smart and a feeler and I think it's prudent to assume that she knows how I feel about her and how I feel about her with other men.

I also think it's safe to assume that she knows how you feel about her, the question is, why is it she continues to hang around you so much? That's what I would be trying to answer.

Also, do you think she is sexually interested in these men? Why does it make you jealous?

[Adam Strange]

I also think it's safe to assume that she knows how you feel about her, the question is, why is it she continues to hang around you so much? That's what I would be trying to answer.

A mercenary person would say that I'm a good source of resources for her. I've bought her art in the past and I hired her this summer to redecorate my house.

A romantic person would say that we are Duals and she just feels more sane and comfortable around me.

I will assume that the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Also, do you think she is sexually interested in these men? Why does it make you jealous?

I don't think she is sexually interested in these men, but I'm afraid that at some point, she's going to decide she's not a lesbian and will marry one of these guys. This probably indicates a complete lack of understanding of sexuality on my part, but that's how I feel.

I mean, she sleeps with women, but my first sexual adventures were with guys, so sexual identity can be complicated and it can evolve until we sort out what we really want.

These guys make me jealous because they have something that I never will; age appropriateness. I think jealousy is a feeling that people get when they wish for the unattainable.

[ContractedCriminalboy]

A mercenary person would say that I'm a good source of resources for her. I've bought her art in the past and I hired her this summer to redecorate my house.

A romantic person would say that we are Duals and she just feels more sane and comfortable around me.

I will assume that the truth is somewhere in the middle.



I don't think she is sexually interested in these men, but I'm afraid that at some point, she's going to decide she's not a lesbian and will marry one of these guys. This probably indicates a complete lack of understanding of sexuality on my part, but that's how I feel.

I mean, she sleeps with women, but my first sexual adventures were with guys, so sexual identity can be complicated and it can evolve until we sort out what we really want.

These guys make me jealous because they have something that I never will; age appropriateness. I think jealousy is a feeling that people get when they wish for the unattainable.

Oh wow, I didn't know you used to be gay.

[Adam Strange]

Oh wow, I didn't know you used to be gay.

Lol.

@FrassatiLo, I'm gay the same way that you're a German citizen.

[ContractedCriminalboy]

Lol.

@FrassatiLo, I'm gay the same way that you're a German citizen.

So you're not gay yet but plan on becoming gay later, when you get the chance?

[Fluffy Princess Unicorn]

So you're not gay yet but plan on becoming gay later, when you get the chance?

I love Germany. I admire their efficiency, even if separating trash into like 7 bins seems a bit much.

[Adam Strange]

Well, I had a date set up with an ESI e9 from Match and because she's a fucking ESI, she cancelled a few hours before the date "because she's sick".

I've known and/or gone out with the following ESIs:

1. SW-e4 - Wanted to share an apt, but I think I'm too old for her.
2. AS-e6 - Likes me but won't date me.
3. BK-e6 - Instantly agreed to a date, then continuously postponed date after date after date until I just stopped.
4. MP-e6 - Instantly (first ten minutes of meeting) suggested going out, then postponed date after date after date until I just stopped.
5. BD-e6 - Agreed to go out on a date after texting for six months, then postponed date after date after date until I just stopped.
6. EM-e9 - Suggested a date after one day of texting and then cancelled a few hours before the date.

If you ask me, which you didn't, but if you are an LIE reading this you should ask my opinion, I'd say that ESIs have serious attachment issues and are scared of every fucking thing that their imaginations can dream up. I used to think that this was an e6 thing, or an age-related thing in the sense that I'm only dating older women who are still available and hence have Attachment issues, but no. Half the women I've dated have been under 35 and they did the same thing. And the latest is an e9 and she postponed. FML. Fuck my Duals.

OK, I posted this in the ESI-LIE conversation thread, so here's a conversation between an LIE e8 and an ESI e9 from Match.

ESI-LIE Conversation:

ESI-e9: "Hello!"

LIE-e8: "Are you real? I've been on this site for five years and I haven't seen a smart, attractive woman who lives in Ann Arbor yet."

ESI-e9: "Thanks for the complement. Yes, I'm real."

LIE-e8: "I'm glad you're real. What are you looking for on Match?"

ESI-e9: "It's OK to question, especially in this day and time! Looking for the One!"

LIE-e8: "Oh. "The One." That's a tall order. I did an analysis and I think there might be nine suitable women in the greater AA metro area. Haven't found one yet."

Nineteen days later, a Message:

ESI-e9: "Hi, Adam. I apologize for my delayed response to you. Please let me know if you'd like to get to know each other further. "

LIE-e8: "Yes, I'd like to meet you. No need to apologize. How about coffee or lunch? You name the place."

ESI-e9: "Oh, thank you, Adam! I don eat lunch, but how about (place) at Tuesday around 5:00?
Oh, goodness, I am sorry for the typo! I meant to type 'I do not eat...' "

LIE-e8, now ignoring the constant thanking me and apologizing, because this usually spells trouble but let's give her the benefit of the doubt: "Tuesday at (place) at 5 PM is good. See you then."

ESI-e9: "OK, great. Thank you, Adam. See you then. If something changes, please let me know."

LIE-e8, thinking that mentioning "change" already is either a sign of responsibility or an indication of future flakiness: "Will do."

Two days later, a Message:

ESI-e9: "Good morning, Adam. I'm sick and I'm staying home and working from home today. I am so sorry I will have to cancel our meeting for today. Maybe we can meet another time."

LIE-e8, thinking that she's a flake but still not being rude about it because I have poor boundaries: "OK, let me know when you are feeling better."

But basically, I think I'm done. She may think she's real, but she's not.