Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
...
I went over to a bookshelf and got down a book.
“When your mother and I were newly married, before you were born, dude, she gave me this book and we read it together. It has a test in it.” The book was Keirsey’s Please Understand Me.
I opened the book to a bookmarked page and said, “Here. Read these two paragraphs.”

Next to the title The ENTJ “Fieldmarshal” was my name, penciled in. A result of one of the tests we took. Under that, it read:

“The ENTJ is a natural “fieldmarshal,” that is, he’s itching to get his hands on several “armies” so that he can marshal his forces and conduct the “war” as it should be conducted. If our ENTJ is in charge of any kind of enterprise, however small, his temperament dictates that he run it as he would his armies – with an eye to long-term strategies and their derivative tactics, logistics, and consequences. In startling contrast to this, the fieldmarshal is enamored by the “flower child,” the bucolic artist ISFP, tranquilly ensconced next to Walden Pond! Perhaps the ENTJ wishes a spouse who will share with him or her the quiet of the forest and field far from the madding crowd, thus separating home from work by a great, insulating distance.”

“Flower child”, my son said aloud, and stopped.

“When I first read that passage, newly married to your mother, I thought it was bullshit. I said, “This book is complete bullshit.” I couldn’t imagine me being with a woman who was a flower child.”

“Well,” he said, “you said something to her a few days ago that really pissed her off. She was mad all day.”

"Do you remember what it was?"

"No."

“Neither do I. I expect that will happen to you with your Duals, too. Duality is not a guarantee that people will get along.”

“OK. Enough of this. You ready to fix these pipes?”
I like that book. I also like Gifts Differing, a lot. They are the best of MBTI. In my experience, using the best of MBTI, such as these books, to gain undeerstandign of MBTI, leads to a different understanding of MBTI than you get from online sources. Specifially, I think the 4 letter types tend to be the same as Socionics when you learn MBTI by books, and if you learn MBTI online, you tend to have issues translating MBTI 4-letter types directly into SOcionics 4-letter types - you instead focus on the use of specific functions, and may translate an ISTj into an ISTp. Do you find that they tend to transfer directly, as they do for me? For me, whatever MBTI type I gave a person is alsways turns otu to be the same in Socionics.

But Socionics is FAR superior to MBTI of course.


You son's reaction sounds consistent to SLI for me. My SLI husband also listens openly to new information, but he tends to hold to "conservative", or previously-held-view, as long as possible, particularly concerning long-held views, and he is relieved for any inconsistensies he perceives that prevent him from having to adopt a new view. [in the above case, I can see how your son would need to see more interaction to understand that an ESI being able to be miffed all day does not normally threaten the dual relationship (business or otherwise) but may instead it may show she feels safe and comfortable enough to be miffed. Particularly in a situation where you are paying her!] My husband does use the new information he receives to, in his own time, with his own contemplation - that includes his own reasearch as well as new information that comes to light, to change his viewpoint. He has surprised me a couple of times with this, when, after he has resisted some new idea or view I have presented, I just take the view of "each to his own", and continue to accumulate more knowledge in the new direction or mystery, and he hangs back and watches (kind of covertly, with no pressure from me) and he researches in his own way. Then he sometimes has, in big ways I did not expect, fo rhis very own reasons, later concedes fully or partially to the new direction of thought or views that I am taking. Any departure of views that remain I feel make sense in what I know of him.

I love how it ends up we are on the same road but gettign to our destination in different ways. It's like we are trying to uncover what the truth is on parallel but differning paths. In that way it is like when we watch a movie together. In a given scene, if he makes any comment, it is always evident that we were looking at COMPLETELY DIFFERENT things in the SAME scene. Every time.

(I meant to write just about how your son is like my SLI husbsand, but I veered off into Duality. I find your duality stories heer intersting because I know duals in the other Quadras but not Gamma.)