I’ve been taking an ESI whom I met on Match.com out on dates for a few months and I’ve been learning a lot about ESIs. You can read about a type for years, but it doesn’t compare to (although it might slightly prepare you for) the real thing.
The dates consist mainly of me providing her with positive Se experiences, like taking her somewhere that is outdoors and pleasant, or taking her to a nice restaurant where the food and ambiance are excellent. I expected her to want to spend time shopping, but when I suggested this, she said she doesn’t like to shop that much. Which is exactly what another ESI once told me. This is hard to believe, because both of them dress with great taste, but let’s assume it’s true. I’m postponing judgement on this question.
She did, however, tell me that she was at a fair and they gave her a coupon worth $5 towards any purchase, so she impulse-bought a $30 jacket because she could get it for $25. I just shook my head. I had already read that ESIs can spend a lot to save a little.
What she does on these dates is talk about her relationships. Mostly, her bad relationships.
We were sitting on a stone terrace in front of an 1886 train station converted to a restaurant, having a light, late afternoon snack of scallops and clams and a dry white wine, and she was telling me about her life.
She was married at 17 to an SEE who was in the Navy and sold drugs. She married him because he got her pregnant and she divorced him two years later because his drug habit was becoming dangerous for her and her son.
She then moved in with an LSI who, she thought, would provide a father-figure for her son, married him, and then he moved them into a trailer next to a busy road and proceeded to cheat on her with his previous GF. But, perhaps because she lacks strong Ni, she stayed with him, maybe because she had a hard time imagining anything else.
After many years, the LSI cleaned out their bank accounts, moved in with a younger woman, and told the ESI that he'd never been happy with her. The ESI got a divorce lawyer who was an alcoholic and a womanizer who managed to give the LSI all of the marriage’s savings in exchange for letting the ESI share his GM health insurance and only got a separation, not a divorce, because he filed the wrong papers. When the ESI complained about this, the lawyer asked her if she had a law degree? HE had a law degree! Because the ESI was extremely depressed after this, her divorce lawyer told her that she should see a psychiatrist, who happened to be a friend of his (and who accepted only cash as payments).
The psychiatrist told her that she was too socially isolated, and that was causing her to be depressed (not the fact that his buddy, her divorce lawyer, was a terrible lawyer. Please don’t even think about suing the guy, because everything is YOUR fault), and she should go on Match.com and start dating again.
I took a sip of water from the clear crystal glass, scraped the crab encrusted scallop out of the half shell with my fork and said, “Well, that seems to have worked out. It was through Match that I met you. As for the rest of that, you should just let it go. It’s over and done with.” One of the guys at a neighboring table was staring at her.
She said, “After telling my psychiatrist all my experiences, he said there must be something wrong with me. Something is wrong with my man-radar.” And then she stared at me, flatly.
Was this a challenge to me? Was she joking or being serious? Is she really dumb or really smart? Damn, I can’t tell. I can’t exactly read her when she says things like this, but I think it’s funny.
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Originally Posted by Adam Strange
