ESI/LIE Conversations

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

He’s a good guy but he’s deep in the closet. I think he secretly wishes that I were gay, also.

Straight guys often think that but it's really doubtful. We really don't want you - although I know 'straight guy' fetish porn is popular it usually seems to me like some fringe thing for guys that can't come out yet. Straight male pheromones are a huge turn-off to real gay guys. Whenever I smell my sister's boyfriends I end up gagging. I don't even know how she can even do that.

If we appear extra nice or friendly or even crush-y somewhat- it might be because certain str8 male logics can balance out gay male emotions or something I don't know lol. And we often deeply appreciate a nice straight guy that isn't a bully or douche (cuz its such a stereotype to encounter a str8 male asshole, it's kinda refreshing if he's tapped into his humanity or 'sensitive' side). But I doubt it's romantic at all.

Or maybe I'm wrong and he really likes you. That probably would fade the more he comes out of the closet though.

[ashlesha]

Straight guys often think that but it's really doubtful. We really don't want you - although I know 'straight guy' fetish porn is popular it usually seems to me like some fringe thing for guys that can't come out yet. Straight male pheromones are a huge turn-off to real gay guys. Whenever I smell my sister's boyfriends I end up gagging. I don't even know how she can even do that.

If we appear extra nice or friendly or even crush-y somewhat- it might be because certain str8 male logics can balance out gay male emotions or something I don't know lol. And we often deeply appreciate a nice straight guy that isn't a bully or douche (cuz its such a stereotype to encounter a str8 male asshole, it's kinda refreshing if he's tapped into his humanity or 'sensitive' side). But I doubt it's romantic at all.

Or maybe I'm wrong and he really likes you. That probably would fade the more he comes out of the closet though.

straight guy fetish porn. when i say quarantine has kinda messed me up i think people don't take me seriously

[spacious]

straight guy fetish porn. when i say quarantine has kinda messed me up i think people don't take me seriously

ESI to ESI, i take you seriously

(and i've also felt that some haven't really understood what i meant when i've tried to describe how quarantine has affected me...:/ oh well, i let it pass. i get it and enough of my friends get it. found this article helpful for giving voice to some of it, most usefully the longer-term trends that even preceded quarantine life, that i wasnt necessarily aware of before quarantine began: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/19/m...n-culture.html)

[Adam Strange]

Straight guys often think that but it's really doubtful. We really don't want you - although I know 'straight guy' fetish porn is popular it usually seems to me like some fringe thing for guys that can't come out yet. Straight male pheromones are a huge turn-off to real gay guys. Whenever I smell my sister's boyfriends I end up gagging. I don't even know how she can even do that.

If we appear extra nice or friendly or even crush-y somewhat- it might be because certain str8 male logics can balance out gay male emotions or something I don't know lol. And we often deeply appreciate a nice straight guy that isn't a bully or douche (cuz its such a stereotype to encounter a str8 male asshole, it's kinda refreshing if he's tapped into his humanity or 'sensitive' side). But I doubt it's romantic at all.

Or maybe I'm wrong and he really likes you. That probably would fade the more he comes out of the closet though.

@BandD, the ESI has never indicated in the slightest that he's sexually interested in me. Instead, we've known each other for ten years and we really just get along well. As in, we respect and support each other and depend on each other to some extent. I think he likes the ease with which we get along.

I always thought that the ESI was just a loner, since he lives alone and doesn't date. I didn't know he was gay until about two years ago, when he took up with a gay male ILI. They started hanging out together which was normal enough and then they'd have these spats, which seemed weird for co-workers but kind of natural for sex partners. I got the impression that the ESI wanted a guy who was more extroverted, and the ILI wanted a guy who chased him harder. The ESI just seemed really frustrated sometimes when the ILI would put him off for no reason, even for little things like when they would go to lunch together.

I think that the ESI was comparing his relationship with the ILI to his relationship with me, and that's why I said that I thought he wished I were gay. Not because he's lusting for me. I'd absolutely say that he is not. But rather because our interaction is smoother and more about what each of us is expecting from another person, while his relationship with the ILI is full of little jarring incidents.

He has hinted at how he feels about his situation in conversations with me before. He's said that, everything considered, he's pretty happy with his choices.

"Everything considered" is the important part.