Member Questionnaire 1 (telarana)What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty is something subjectively aesthetic to the eye of the beholder. Love is an emotional tie between two people that makes them want to foster connection and intimacy in a relationship, friendship, etc.What are your most important values?
I'm a Enneagram Type 3 so previously my whole life I would've said ambition and success. But after many personal experiences I would have to say that is a false ideology of "most important attainment" put out by our society. And I guess I would instead say health, good friends, and satisfaction with one's creations, activities, accomplishments and contributions to society?Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I do. It's kind of hard to explain because I don't have a 'concrete' tradition that I follow. I'm more examining different perspectives and ideas of different traditions and determining what makes the most sense and fits best. I believe that a lot of things are purported as commonly accepted societal truths and taken for granted without really being examined to see if they are the most truthful ideologies and if they're the most beneficial to society and individuals at large. I'm more exploring indigenous traditions, folk traditions, ancestral traditions because I find that there may be more truth within those ideas and ideologies than previously thought and a lot of it was covered up or consumed by colonialism and the dominant religion of the area and you can reach more enlightenment and freedom when you examine those views and figure out what works in your best interest and for the better of your people and yourself as an individual. (For cultural context I'm a black American so we are a predominantly Christian community but this view was forced upon us by our oppressors who have not always had our best interests at heart, and it is most helpful to examine our views, the views of our forefathers, and figure out what's the best system to live by in this world - if we want to engage in spirituality at all. IMO)Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I hate it. I think most of it is unnecessary and pure power masturbation without really taking into account the effect on the citizens of the country involved, especially those who are innocent and don't engage in any military activity or political ideologies. I think military is necessary for defense and for increasing dominion in populations when we need it. But most of the time too much focus is put on it and we don't need to engage in war or foreign country politics at all. (Again, I'm American so America sticking their hand in everyone else's business historically - especially without taking care of their own issues first - is contributing to my point of view)What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Power is asserting yourself as having dominance over or dominion over someone else and trying to forcibly attain things. Power can also be manipulation or control of someone entirely by mental strategy and emotional play.
Well. I just did a facebook post on all of my many interests and things I like to do heavy analysis on so I'll summarize them here. Fandom related things like Harry Potter and Homestuck. Cultural phenomenon like spirituality, "common sense" or "commonly accepted logic" as far as cultural norms, psychology theories and typology theories and systems, medicine - the health industry - how culture, misconceptions around culture, misconceptions with ideas of medicine and hard science come into play in providing subpar service towards individuals and how that can be improved by increased understanding and analysis of the cultural elements and biases that come into play when treating individuals' health and providing medication plans that work for patients and increasing medication compliance (this is my career field). These are all things I can do long conversations on and go heavily into, though I'm still examining different ideas and figuring out theories/rationale behind each thing.Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I just went into this above. I'm not particularly focused on my body, insofar as I'm focused on meeting the minimal health needs of my body so that I can continue to go on to be productive and focus on my interests better. I've found that if I completely ignore my body and health needs I crash and find myself unable to do anything cause I have a longer recovery time. So It's better to listen to my body when it needs mental or physical rest breaks.What do you think of daily chores?
Hate them. Find them necessary to do to maintain a relatively clean environment for visitors and to upkeep my own positive mental health state. Prefer to avoid doing them as much as possible, to the point where I ignore and won't manipulate my environment so i don't make it messy.Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I mean I have some of my most major fandoms above. Harry Potter and Homestuck. But I have a LOT of things that I like that I don't really feel like getting into or listing. I generally like stuff that has interesting aesthetics, an interesting emotional tone, and has a novel take on society or on an idea in an interesting way. Generally I like pop culture things that are 'novel' to their time, even if more things like them come afterwards. I also like horror and fantasy a lot.What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I mean honestly I never used to cry that much and it takes me a lot to actually come to tears, even if I feel sad and I want to cry to let out some kind of emotional release, it's hard to. I've been that way ever since a kid. I only cry now more frequently due to hormonal fluctuations from literal prescription hormones I've been on. But mostly I cry because I'm having a mental breakdown. My partner thinks I hold in too much but generally I'm not very cognizant of my feelings or why I'm feeling some kind of way/manifesting some kind of negative behaviors, until I have that breakdown where I can figure it out.Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I smile all the time. I don't smile necessarily in every day public situations because I don't really care about people nor am I much interested in what usually goes on around me so I'm not amused by much in everyday life. But in my private and personal life with friends I constantly laugh and joke and smile because I constantly see amusing things and I like to share it with people.
I feel "at one with the environment" I guess when I'm forced to be? Like generally this comes very shocking/jarring to me when I'm high and on weed or shrooms and suddenly I can feel sensations very intensely and I notice minute details in things around me that I've never noticed before. But generally I ignore my environment unless something I notice peaks my interest so... not often. I would say I feel at one with the environment walking in the woods or something as well but really I get stuck in my thoughts and musings so I wouldn't even say I'm mostly present then.What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I feel a sense of belonging with people who I have good camaraderie with who feel like my "pack" whose opinions and values I can trust because they're either similar to my own or they're people who just have great skill with logically picking things apart so I know they've examined all sides to a situation or done a lot of research on topics and so their opinions are valid and trustworthy. (Not that I would necessarily just accept an opinion blindly - but it would be easier to consider than one from a person I haven't vetted as trustworthy or logically sensible yet). Also if someone has bad morals (like extremely bad morals, like they're racist or justify child molestation or something - this isn't an extreme example, I've met people who do) or is an a-hole to people just because they want to be - I tend not to want to be around them or have them as a part of my circle.
My partner thinks I'm bad at listening. Like I'll listen to what he says, go off on a mental tangent bouncing off that, and then come back and will apparently not have heard anything in the middle. Or I'll nod and mhmm in agreement on something he's talking about that I'm not listening to in depth because I'm concentrating on some other in depth interest of mine at the time.What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
My mother has always thought I'm bad at common sense in the sense of 'practicality' and doing practical things or finding practical ways to go about things.
I can sometimes hurt people without intending to. Like I'll say something and I'm trying to clarify a question I have or say something that is a blunt, objective truth in my mind and I'll end up hurting someone because my 'tone' wasn't as soft as it needed to be or I was too direct with my words or they had a sensitive tie to whatever we were talking about and I was speaking from an objective stance so I didn't register that it would be a sensitive subject for them.
I'm heavily analytical and I think about things from a cross-contextual view. I can usually understand other people's perspective even if I don't agree with them or I see it as illogical. Usually when debating with someone I try to get down to the internal rationale of the person having the debate so I can see where the logical misunderstanding is happening and how to best address it to argue the real issue and misunderstanding. This is complicated if the person has an emotional tie to the situation or does not have well-defined rationale and I find myself guessing in that case until I kinda figure it out. Or it may be that they have an emotional tie to the perspective and I try to understand the experiential/cultural viewpoint that goes into and formed that perspective so I can better break down the misunderstandings and rationale for why I think what I do and how it's a larger social issue or social/cultural construct or phenomenon at play so they can better understand why the argument for whatever they're discussing exists and how it compares to their own so both sides can be examined.In what areas of your life would you like help?
Accepting my own emotions and inability to accomplish "everything". My partner helps me with that. As well as my friends.Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes. But I mostly feel stuck in a rut due to my physical or mental health being on the decline and not really getting better at that moment and thus preventing me from doing what I want or need to do. Or I feel stuck in a situation that I can't get out of and I become very black & white thinking, depressed, unable to see alternative options for escaping the situation, until I can talk through it and find ways to get out of it.What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
Like: Interesting people. People who have stuff to talk about beyond every day, worldly, social, unimportant events. I don't mind gossip because it can be entertaining but it's not something I focus on. Mostly I like talking about ideas and theories and things I'm interested in with other people who have shared experiences, observations or knowledge of those things.How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
Dislike: People who are rude on purpose (I'm fine with people who are rude on accident as I understand them, I just also try to make them aware of how they were rude and why so they're better aware of it). People with crappy morals who mean conscious harm to other groups or individuals (not justified harm, like vengeance. This would just be harm for no specific reason other than satisfying the person doing the harm or bias against certain groups for no reason.) Illogical or irrational people. People with twisted logic, similar to the twisted morals. People who are ineffective at doing things, who are rash and impulsive for no reason, who don't seem to have much of a purpose or long-term thought as to why they do what they do.
Type-wise, MBTI-type wise (cause I'm not super versed on Socionics yet. I'm learning though): I tend to hang out with ENFPs, INFPs, I know one INFJ, I was best friends with an INTJ in college and I tend to be friends with fast, immediate friends with folks who type as INTJ in MBTI, and I'm chill with ESTPs and ESFPs (since my Mom was one growing up). I don't know that many TPs. I don't really hang out with any SJs. My boyfriend is an ISFP in MBTI but I'm pretty certain he's SEI in Socionics. He's also the most stable, long term partnership I've had. My other partners never really clicked the same way.
Romance - theoretically I think it's a complicated concept that's misconstrued in common societal thought as "infatuation" or in unhealthy ways such as jealousy, control issues, possessiveness, stuff like that. And I'm examining the idea of what "romantic love" truly is and really means. The "idea" of romantic in general - as far as being with a romantic partner. I've never really been too into the idea of being romantic with anyone and I tend to dislike the idea of mushy romantic behaviors. My partner is the exception because he can sometimes bring it out of me. But before him not so much. I'm very loyal and devoted to a person once I decide they're worth my time and they maintain my interest which is hard to do. Romantic crushes fade for me in a manner of weeks once the person gets boring so this is my longest relationship so far.If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Sex - I love. I love the act. I like doing it with my partner. Not much to say beyond that.
Qualities - It took me a while to figure out what I wanted from a partner since I never actively sought out love and romance. But when I figured it out I realized I wanted intimacy, someone who clearly wanted me back, just as much attention spent on me as I spent on my partner, someone who was interesting, someone who wanted to explore with me and go on adventures, and someone who would be emotionally nurturing, which is something I find hard to do myself. Ultimately I'd also want a partner to grow and go in a similar direction as me as well and feel very satisfied with their life and achieve something that feels personally successful just as I would want to achieve myself.
I'd want to make sure that my child wasn't misled by the environment. By that I mean I'd want to foster healthy skepticism and independent thought in the child, allow them to explore whatever paths felt intrinsically right/suited for them, foster a sense of self-esteem, self-love and self-appreciation, understand their worth in society and look for friends and partners who will treat them respectfully and with care, and develop problem solving skills to solve whatever problem they find themselves in. I'd want to teach them the reality of the structure of the world so they can survive within it.A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
My automatic reaction is surprise, followed with wondering why they believe what they believe and asking them to clarify. Inwardly I'd be surprised if it was something I wasn't expecting them to say or that I hadn't heard or considered before and outwardly I'd be curious to ask why they said it and if it was a controversial claim, what their rationale was or if they had logical evidence to back it up.Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
People are... interesting. I don't really have many thoughts on individual people. I find society, community, culture to be more interesting as social structures and it allows me to examine why people believe what they believe and why certain problems exist.How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I feel like a prevalent social problem is following "dogma" or commonly accepted logic or beliefs without considering why you follow it and if the dogma actually makes the most sense when compared to reality.
I choose friends based off of interest. Basically it just boils down to who's interesting and who can hold the most interesting conversation. If they have interesting viewpoints or takes on a given situation. If they do interesting things, like fandom related or geek related things. Basically conversation and common interests are how I choose my usual friend circles.How do you behave around strangers?
I behave... well around my friends group I'm a little bit different than how I am in general every day life. So around people I don't know well or at work I'm very quiet and generally don't engage in conversation around me and keep things very short and sweet and engage in politeness. I only offer opinions when I have something relevant to say or if someone is mistaken on something and I need to correct them. Around my friends I'm more likely to engage in back and forth conversation, be loud and energetic, joke around a lot, point out patterns I've observed in society or in recent worldly affairs for discussion, express my opinions and offer them up for discussion or consideration, and engage in communal activities that I think will entertain people or put people in a jovial, social mood.
^See above for my behaviors around non-friends. I generally am just very business-like and don't really engage with people on a personal level or really care to get to know them unless they strike my interest or I'm really bored and want to engage in social activity.