Constant dreams about SLI dude

[lemontrees]

But... I don't want to be with him, at least I don't think so. But him cutting me off was painful to me, and he talks to me when he wants to then ignores me. I hurt him because I rejected him bc he wanted casual sex and I wanted something serious, told him there was someone else, and he hated me since, claiming he was opening up to me and I dared do that to him. Sometimes I think he has PTSD when we start talking to each other afresh, because he lets me in then suddenly deletes my number and stops talking to me.

this doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

if he can't take responsibility for his half of the matter, then it's not about your behavior but his personal growth. i think i've been trapped in a cycle very similar to yours, and there's no use seeking "forgiveness" from someone who doesn't want to see your point of view. internalizing a person's judgement of you can feel reflexive but can't necessarily fix things - you can't solve the problem if the problem is partially internal to them. meeting someone much more than halfway (or 80, 90 percent of the way) isn't how it should be. <3

just IMO - when i have recurring dreams it seems like something is unresolved. it could be as simple as wanting someone to say, "I don't think so badly of you over that misunderstanding you perceive." maybe he'll come around. but sometimes you can't actually get closure from the other person, and have to be supportive towards yourself.

[Shytan]

this doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

if he can't take responsibility for his half of the matter, then it's not about your behavior but his personal growth. i think i've been trapped in a cycle very similar to yours, and there's no use seeking "forgiveness" from someone who doesn't want to see your point of view. internalizing a person's judgement of you can feel reflexive but can't necessarily fix things - you can't solve the problem if the problem is partially internal to them. meeting someone much more than halfway (or 80, 90 percent of the way) isn't how it should be. <3

just IMO - when i have recurring dreams it seems like something is unresolved. it could be as simple as wanting someone to say, "I don't think so badly of you over that misunderstanding you perceive." maybe he'll come around. but sometimes you can't actually get closure from the other person, and have to be supportive towards yourself.

Yes, I do think it's closure I need. Thank you