Type me before climate change destroys us all

[Number 9 large]

You could not even apply yourself to make an apt insult while I was being wide open. Proving yet again, what a complete useless slacker you are.

The more u pretend to be cool the more i know that ur just insecure inside

[flames]

^ just wanna say it’s apparently so bad that my bestie was BEGGING me to be quiet for 30 minutes and kept making me smoke weed to chill. Also put on Netflix. Wasn’t working so she finally told me to find somebody to FaceTime and go upstairs lol. I was rocking back and forth/moving my body at the same as I was talking to my bestie and roommate, who probably felt even more agitated because they both just came home from work. She even gave me CBD gummies - I guess they helped me relax a little, at least my body but my mind and my tongue are still raging war. And then when I got upstairs they texted me to tell me to sit the fuck down because I was making so much noise from walking around.

Haha.

The funny thing is this is all just the real me but turned up to eleven. My bestie gives me a big dose of tough love at every corner and tells me that I’m just “too much” or “too extra” as a person and it can be hard to deal with. I don’t disagree, even I feel the burn I cause myself. Maybe one day I will find a cure to the restlessness but even then I probably wouldn’t take it - being who I am and doing what I do is always an adrenaline rush.

[flames]

I feel like I wanna go back to the philosophy teacher remark just to make a point (which btw, my bestie was surprisingly approving of - I’m not used to this kind of encouragement at all, especially around my family. That’s why I breathe so much better when I’m not living at home, no matter how tough the situation is outside.).... all drugs are a spiritual journey of the soul. No matter what category - it’s not just a psychedelic drug thing. They all have the power to change your life in a good way or a bad way or in no way at all. Obviously psychedelics are the best at this; like I said my last acid trip totally changed my life and my perspective, or perhaps enhanced the picture I was already looking at. Weed, psychedelics, stimulants, opiates (well not sure about them for sure because I don’t do them and I don’t like them), uppers, downers. Everything is making you stare back in the mirror at your soul, and once you find it you’re either empowering it or fucking tearing it down (the latter mostly from becoming a piece of shit addict who will walk in purgatory for eternity. I can say that cuz ya know my therapist says I’m an addict and she’s probably right since I’ve been to rehab, which failed epically since I started partying with harder things afterwards.).