It's weird. They "appear" in my life once every 4 years or so.....
You "just know" when you meet your dual, it's kinda spooky.
So much potential but it never works out because other things get in the way
It's weird. They "appear" in my life once every 4 years or so.....
You "just know" when you meet your dual, it's kinda spooky.
So much potential but it never works out because other things get in the way
My husband, my cousins, my mil and Abbie of course
They are all different enneagram
I like a few of the LSE here including @UDP but I haven’t met any in real life
I guess I easily develop feelings of love
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
only two, one non romantic (my grandfather whom I love very much)
Considering I've met one SLE in my life and I thought he was a fake douche in the vein of Mencia the answer is zero. Types I meet often: IEI, ILI, IEE, ILE. Types I meet a medium amount of:SEI, LSI, EII, EIE, ESI, LSE, LIE, LII. Types I meet rarely: SLI. SLE: literally one ever. Therefore SLE practically does not exist to me.
Sorry this is such an old thread I am reading. I often find your threads interesting because I think you are a good typer, since the stories you tell often SO fit the type you are describing. I found your above comment interesting because my Mom was ESI. She was happily married forever to my SLI Dad. My Mom LOVED people who were great conversationalists. But, not my kind of conversation [I don't consider myself a "conversationalist". I am more of a "sincere" talker and don't want to talk unless I feel it is something useful, meaningful, important or helpful to say. Like, I can talk awhile about something that made me "realize" something - for example like this post! - but that is not the kind of conversation that Mom was interested in].
When I was in high school and college we had an interesting neighbor who was a vivacious talker,. She was an accomplished professional and quite intelligent (two things Mom admired: success and intelligence). An interesting fact about this neighbor was that she was actually the model for a Dilbert character (the artist was a coworker at a firm she used to work at out west). My Mom LOVED having her join us for holiday meals (she was away from her family, having grown up on a midwestern farm) and this neighbor entertained us all with her lively and interesting talk.
Another example of my Mom's enjoyment of a talker was once Mom and Dad decided to sponsor a student teacher from France (this was certainly Mom's idea) at their otherwise now-empty nest, as there was a need at the local high school for a family to sponsor this young man. So Jacques lived there for that for a year. Jacques was QUITE the talker - very friendly and sociable. When I subbed at that high school some years later, the teachers ALL remembered Jacques and his big and likable personality. Well my Mom just LOVED Jacques the talker. And I think it was because his presence in their home filled a craving she had for interesting conversation. She once said that that was the only thing she would change about Dad - that he would talk more*.
It was in that year that Jacques lived there, that began shortly after my son was born, that I finally give up on the long held hope that Mom would EVER be enthralled with me or anything I did (even something important like bear her grandchild!), because in spite of the amazing new miracle of life in our lives, that year, all she would talk about was Jacques!
So I really think, Adam, that someday some lovely ESI women will be SO grateful for your gift of your kind of talk, and of your just being you. That's what's great about duality. Just us being ourselves is what our dual craves. Most of the time. I really think.
_____________
My dad's parents divorced when he was 3, and he spent his childhood shuffling between two homes on a train from a young age, something that was unusual for that time. And since that marriage broke up with an affair, there was acrimonies between ex- and current wife, and my Dad learned to NOT talk to keep the peace. Mom accredited Dad's lack of talk to that. But I think it had something to do with being an "I" married to an "I"...
"A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........
"Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
attitude acceptable to today's standards." - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"
.
.
.
"A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........
"Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
attitude acceptable to today's standards." - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"
.
.
.
I have never seen anyone so at odds with Abbie, and that makes me feel that you are not an EII. Because EIIs just don't get that annoyed with what LSE has to say or how they say it.
[This is not personal against you. I haven't read your other posts. I have read plenty of Abbie's and I feel quite sure she is LSE. And a LOT of people mistype themselves.]
"A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........
"Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
attitude acceptable to today's standards." - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"
.
.
.
To answer the OP's question, I know several Dual couples who seem "perfect". There is a SEI/ILE couple I have known for years whose marriage was so interesting to me for it's perfect peaceful harmony (something that marks EVERY dual marriage couple I know, no matter the types). At the time I met them and developed my friendship with the SEI, and observed her marriage in wonder, I was in a bad marriage and it felt good to see that marriage did not always have to be a struggle.
I know another SEI/ILE couple; the SEI was a roommate in college and we were in each others weddings (my first marriage). What a story for them. They dated, he served jail time (long story) and they married when he got out and he is a very successful businessman today and they have 4 children and they sail and he is quite adventurous. (Both the ILEs in those couples are adventurous and avid breadwinners, while the SEIs do an amazing job devotedly keeping the home fires burning, with their life totally centered on supporting their husband and their family, especially by doing the supportive grunge work, cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, errands. Like super thrifty grocery shopping - and just just being very thrifty home managers so hubby's money and time can be available for all his many his grandiose ideas or adventures. Both SEIs as well as my SEI friend here in a Supervision marriage with a LSE are super thrifty home-managers.
My LSI brother is long-happily married to a vivacious EIE, and it is a most happy pairing. They also have 4 children, just like both previously-mentioned dual couples. It seems to me that the peaceful duality pairing makes it possible to take on more. I noticed that she is the one with the grand ideas (Let's do this and this to the house, or take the whole family on this vacation), and he works to makes them happen.
Well I thought I knew more Dual couples but I can't think of any others. Maybe it is just the three. I also know at least three conflictor couples and just as the duals have much in common, no matter their types, so do the conflictor couples, no matter the type, and just as harmony and peace is in common for duals, conflict is marked for the conflictors!
Oh yes! I am in the fourth Dual couple I know of! My 2nd marriage to my Dual is like my SEI friend's, the first couple mentioned above, whose marriage I so long admired, though we are IEE and SLI. For us it is marked peace and harmony, and we are able to accomplish many things together. I love that we can be productive doing and accomplishing things together, rather than like my first marriage, where I was always thinking about working on the marriage and always trying to make it better and figure it out. I spend no thought on such things now. Just on what we will do or accomplish together, and how or in what order we could best do it (I am the planner and project coordinator for our dual pair. My husband will have input at times, but as long as my plans sound reasonable to him he is more than happy to join me to make the things happen that we both want to have happen. Usually he agrees in how I prioritize things (I am always in the process of re-prioritizing as we juggle things) and he is happy to have someone else think through the boring organization of matters like what we should do first and by when. If at times we don't agree on something, we both present our cases and talk it out until we are both quite happy with the plan. So in the end we are always peaceable about what direction we are actually moving in. It's really a good thing.
Last edited by Eliza Thomason; 12-14-2019 at 04:05 AM.
"A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........
"Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
attitude acceptable to today's standards." - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"
.
.
.
-
Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Most who believe they are LIE or ENTJ are none of such. I have met 4 maybe 5 people who I type as LIE, all male. No perfection found but one of them comes close.
Very strong Te, quick learner, happy go lucky, optimistic to a fault, always eager to do something and help someone, very popular as in very well liked but does not have strong people skills. Good leader if Te is the focus, but no way can he charm a crowd like EIE or SEE.
He is now married to an ESI-Se and moved to China (he is Chinese) and last time I checked they were doing very well.
.
Last edited by Multiply; 05-23-2022 at 03:15 AM. Reason: Typo
I know at least 22 people whom I type as LIE (I keep lists), and two are female. When I was younger and in school, I knew almost no LIE's. None, in fact, that I remember. But now that I own a small company and I'm dealing with the heads of other companies, I'm meeting LIE's in every other connection. They say that half the CEO's in the US are LIE, and I feel that that is about right. The percentages are probably highest in companies with 25 people, but that's just a guess.
However, of all these LIE's, I only know three whom I think are married to duals. And those three differ from the rest in one very real way. They seem content, or satisfied with themselves. They sort of give me the same vibes that @FDG gives me.
Most LIE's that I know, myself included, are "on edge" all the time. Seeking opportunities, striving, planning, fighting, maneuvering for advantage. The three dualized LIE's are still striving, but they seem to be more laid back and seem to be better at pacing themselves. They are not the most successful in absolute "accumulated money" terms, but they are all still in their 30's and are still doing very well.
For some unknown reason, two of the LIE's have not started a family yet. The third LIE is ignoring his very young kids and letting his ESI wife deal with them. (This jibes with what I have read; that LIE's only get interested in their kids when the kids become teens. Which was definitely not true in my own case, but we're talking averages here.)
The LIE's who are most successful, money-wise, are married to Ti-doms. Their personal lives are train wrecks, but they have money. They also don't seem to like spending much time at home. Lol.
I don't know if I've met a perfect ESI or not. I'm still trying to decide what is "perfect".
I have definitely met ESI's that I'd like to get to know better. And a few that I know well enough right now. Lol.
ESI's seem to come in two subtypes and three enneagram flavors. The subtypes are the ESI-Fi, whom I think of as "nesters", since they are interested in building a nice, quiet home, and ESI-Se, whom I think of as the "sports model", since they are usually interested in sports.
The enneagram types are the eccentric and unique e4's, the warrior e6's, and the calm, zen-like e9's.
My experience with each type is:
ESI-Fi e4 wanted to move in together, but the age difference scared me.
ESI-Se e6 is just about perfect, but they are always rushing off to somewhere else. And there is an age difference between me and those two.
ESI-Se or -Fi (hard to tell) e9 is how I would type my best friend from HS, and a guy I'm working with now. Both great guys, but they seem kind of bloodless. And I'm sx-first.
I wish there were more research into this stuff. I just need to be able to pick the optimum from a catalog and be done with it, and then get on with my life.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 12-16-2019 at 03:21 PM.
Of the people I type as LIE, 3 are married but I only met one wife so I could type her. LIE 1 is the guy I mentioned in my previous post. I met him in grad school and his wife too. He is actually a bit on edge as you put it, competent, confident and happy, but always wanting more in life. I believe he is the Te-D sub type. Personally I find his personality close to ideal.
LIE 2 I met in college and we were good friends. He is now married with 2 little kids and seems very involved with his kids. Strong Te but a very scattered and naive person, very poor people skills, and Si polr is obvious. I only see his wife’s pictures on FB but I can’t tell her type. He is less on edge and more content than LIE 1, but still happy and confident. Te-C sub type.
LIE 3 is a coworker. He is older, in his 40’s, unhappily married with 2 teenagers. I don’t know his wife’s type since I have never met her or seen her pictures but based on his comments I think she is an Alpha SF. I don’t think he is content but he is at an age he is no longer on edge. I think he is the balanced sub type, N.
The last one LIE 4 I met as an expedition tour guide. His interest involves the wildnerness and he is nowhere near wanting to settle down. Ni subtype I believe and an H. Strong people skills resembling IEI but also strong Te and Ti.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I would more so look at compatibility in enneagram and attitudinal psyche / psyche yoga to balance things out.
Using one theory only is pretty ridiculous to be honest, in ascertaining how things work between people.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Idk since I really just figured out my type 16 hours ago and have a lot to learn about using socionics to analyze people, but I am pretty sure my boyfriend is SEE 927 or something. I don't know that's compatible with 153, but 9s are compatible with everything lol that's their thing isn't it?
Everything happens for a reason.
I've met a huge amount of duals, if my type is right. They're pretty much all over the board, though I never had a negative experience with any of them. Some of them have had subtype/enneagram/individual quirks that made me think they were IEEs even, though I can say I'm at an age where I'm still developing my tertiary function as are my peers so that may explain the confusion. I grew up with my brother who's my dual, raised under a dual beta couple. That was fairly interesting growing up.. I suppose I'm pretty lucky though
I have met 3 duals who I'm very very fond of, and then others I almost instinctively dismiss. Really hit or miss, the ones that are obviously very mal-adapted in general I obviously avoid for reasons of saving my own time and effort. Maybe I shouldn't though
I've met a number of duals over the years, had some flings and such. Never had a dual I stuck with, though. And certainly, I've met no perfect dual.
Most people it seems like aren't that interested in mental stuff, reading, etc., aren't really intellectual types. Can't really mesh.
I superficially define a “perfect” dual as the Si-subtype to my Ne-subtype. I have only one such person in my life, she is my distant cousin. I have had interaction with her over one vacation, and in that short period I observed quite a bit about the relation. It doesn’t take any time for the effect to start taking place - I intuitively felt comfortable with her upon approach even though I had nothing else to base my liking her upon. No other relation has ever conferred on me the same combination of psychological safety + security. And you don’t try to foster it in any way - it just exists. One of the most comfortable relations and in the case of my cousin, equally uncomfortable for the same reason. There is a gravitational pull to become closer that I didn’t like because I don’t really like my cousin as a person, removed from sociotype. But I do wonder if I were to find a significant other whose values aligned with me or had a parent child relationship with LSE-Si, if the relation would more accurately fit the description of “perfect.”
Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 04-24-2021 at 11:51 PM.
Two, I think (with both main and subtype matching).
1. A guy in my art class at uni. Didn’t happen, although I believe we could have been a good match. He was like an SLE version of David Tennant, who I fancy.
There was also an SLE-H who I met on a night out. I still have him on social media and wonder if I’ll ever see him again. The moment I saw him in the bar, I was like oh god, why is that insanely good looking guy looking at me lol. Anyway we got chatting and I did like him.
I think he perhaps reminded me of my brothers, on some level or something. I think coz one bro is SEE and one is LSI-H. SEE is 738 tritype and LSI is 639 tritype. SLE guy was 739. Or maybe it’s just that 739/946 have a good connection (my best friend in high school was this tritype).
He had a dazzling smile, infectious laugh and dreamy eyes. And I felt like he was my long lost friend or something. More like we’d been separated at birth. And even though he was way younger than me and cooler. We’d grown up in the same area it turned out too.
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 05-03-2021 at 07:09 PM.
I once met an ESE before knowing socionics. However, I found that IEIs are way more interesting than her. Although she seems to like me I was not very interested in her to be honest.
about 4...
I don't get dualizing. Seems like nothing special tbh.
ExE strengths have more to do with repelling the coldness settling around the world. In an age like this they especially shine. IEIs' interestingness is illusory. They're clever enough to pull SLEs by their noses, but if you lean into the illusion it dissolves. If you're LII you'd do better with an EIE if you want to be interested; their performances are sincere and they appreciate an audience.
It’s hard to find a good one :/ I think occasionally it will be instant attraction but more than often they have to grow on you. Still, I think hopefully you can tell if there is at least potential or not. Or you can learn to spot potential.
ESE and IEI can be similar on the surface. I get on very well with some (and admire them) -others are yuck. I personally find it hard to communicate with benefit partners. If they are particular tritypes it’s ok (the balanced ones- 369, 258 seem ok). I like to think of IEEs as my version of ESI friends when I’m sad that I don’t have ESI friends. I can be in awe of ESIs (their social grace, way with words, creativity, gentleness). Occasionally there will be an ESI who I have similar experiences or views to and we get on well. Often, I find their patterns of thinking a little narrow minded and hard to follow.
I haven’t known many LII- I don’t really know what to say to them
usually. I had a friend in the past but I felt like I needed him to reach out to me to feel comfortable in the friendship, rather than the other way round. LII can be helpful for IEI. But I find (on here) I tend to want to tell them all my emotions and feel a pressure to be on there level of smartness. It’s better for me to not try so hard I think lol
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 05-04-2021 at 11:10 AM.
It's indeed not easy to find a good one, especially I hardly ever communicate with girls.
I general, I currently prefers α/β intuits and I found that there are more common topics. It's too hard for me to find a common topic with sensors. When I met the ESE I found that she is learning pedagogy. So immediately I read several textbooks in that area and came up with several pedagogical theories. She pretended to be very interested in these theories but I soon find out that she understood almost nothing about them.
only @mfckrz
I AM YOUR HOLY TOTEM
I AM YOUR SICK TABOO
RADICAL AND RADIANT
I'M YOUR NIGHTMARE COMING TRUE
I AM YOUR WORST ENEMY
I AM YOUR DEAREST FRIEND
MALIGNANTLY MALEVOLENT
I AM OF DIVINE DESCENT
I AM YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS
I AM UNRESTRAINED EXCESS
METAMORPHIC RESTLESSNESS
I'M YOUR UNEXPECTEDNESS
I AM YOUR APOCALYPSESTRAY BULLET
I AM YOUR BELIEF UNWROUGHT
MONOLITHIC JUGGERNAUT
FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE
STRAY BULLET
READY OR NOT
I'M THE ILLEGITIMATE SON OF GOD