How many "perfect" duals have you met so far

[Adam Strange]

I have several LSE female friends who I connect really well with. One of my best friends is an LSE female. My interactions with LSE men have felt quite different. I've only interacted with two self-identified LSE males for some length of time. With one, I seem to be able to joke around with him, but it's impossible to build any trust or have a sincere conversation with him undercutting the conversation with some inappropriate or poorly timed sexual comments/potty humour. I don't have the same problem with the other LSE guy I know, but it's still difficult to close the distance with him and discuss more personal topics all the same. Comparatively, I find SLIs and LIEs a bit easier to connect with.

@a good egg, this is very interesting. I assume you are an EII female.

Are you sure you've typed those male LSE's correctly? I've known two female LSE's all my life (mother and sister) and several male LSE's for many years, and I've never once heard them make an off-color sexual comment. Or any sexual comment at all, for that matter. Those are more along the lines of what LIE's do all the time.

Having said that, I know a female EII, and I (an LIE) get along with her incredibly well. I think she'd like to date seriously instead of just having lunch, but I see some potential problems with Semi-duality. (We can plan together incredibly well, but unlike Duals, she and I can't spur each other to actually accomplish anything, and then there's the Infantile-Victim thing. ) I've tried to get her to look for male LSE's, but she told me that she doesn't trust them at all. And in one case, her suspicions were actually warranted. She warned me that an LSE shouldn't be trusted, and she was right.

I told her that she should look for LSE's in hardware stores, but she replied that she's afraid she'd meet SLE's there, and do I want to go out to lunch today? And then she turned away from me, bent at the waist, and put some packages on the floor.
I think she is stuck on something that looks good and easy (me), rather than what is long-term best for her (LSE's). Or maybe she just hasn't met the right LSE. Because LSE's can be really great, upstanding guys if you don't expect much in the way of them expressing feelings or having great intuition. I mean, that's the kind of opposite-talent thing you get in a dual.

[a good egg]

@a good egg, this is very interesting. I assume you are an EII female.

Are you sure you've typed those male LSE's correctly? I've known two female LSE's all my life (mother and sister) and several male LSE's for many years, and I've never once heard them make an off-color sexual comment. Or any sexual comment at all, for that matter. Those are more along the lines of what LIE's do all the time.

These two male LSEs I am thinking of are self-ID and the interaction is online. I'm by no means an expert on typing. The fact that the interaction is online might have something to do with it. Some are less attentive to social cues and are more disinhibited online. The pattern of behaviour I'm talking about is more akin to shitposting. I don't mind shitposting in itself and can play along. The frustration occurs when I try to initiate a more serious or sincere conversation about a topic, and then he defaults to shitposting as a kind of evasion. It may not be type related. I've never had these issues with my LSE female friends.

Having said that, I know a female EII, and I (an LIE) get along with her incredibly well. I think she'd like to date, but I see some potential problems (we can plan together incredibly well, but unlike Duals, she and I can't spur each other to actually accomplish anything, and then there's the Infantile-Victim thing ). I've tried to get her to look for male LSE's, but she told me that she doesn't trust them at all. And in one case, her suspicions were actually warranted. She warned me that an LSE shouldn't be trusted, and she was right.

I told her that she should look for LSE's in hardware stores, but she replied that she's afraid she'd meet SLE's there, and do I want to go out to lunch today? I think she is stuck on something that looks good and easy (me), rather than what is long-term best for her (LSE's). Or maybe she just hasn't met the right LSE. Because LSE's can be really great, upstanding guys if you don't expect much in the way of them expressing feelings or having great intuition. I mean, that's the kind of opposite-talent thing you get in a dual.

The hardware store thing is funny. Men are very helpful in hardware stores, but I don't know if they are all or predominantly LSEs. It's nice to receive help and attention nonetheless.

The LSE description sounds attractive to me. I just don't know where you meet these elusive people, and I am already not particularly talented at meeting new people.

[Adam Strange]

These two male LSEs I am thinking of are self-ID and the interaction is online. I'm by no means an expert on typing. The fact that the interaction is online might have something to do with it. Some are less attentive to social cues and are more disinhibited online. The pattern of behaviour I'm talking about is more akin to shitposting. I don't mind shitposting in itself and can play along. The frustration occurs when I try to initiate a more serious or sincere conversation about a topic, and then he defaults to shitposting as a kind of evasion. It may not be type related. I've never had these issues with my LSE female friends.

This act of defaulting to what you call shit posting is exactly what I did to ashlesha when I first started posting on this forum, except in my case, it took the form of being non-serious and teasing her, rather than addressing her directly. I think this is a bad sign in a person in general, but it might be a common defense by Te-doms against dealing with their feelings, which we are very, very unconfident about.

Probably the only antidote to this is to let the Te-dom have some experience with Fi-doms, so the Fi-doms don't look so much like a bag full of hand grenades and guns with their safeties off, with a frantic wolverine in there just to keep things interesting.
After a Te-dom gets some experience with an Fi-dom, the Te-dom can lose a lot of their fear and behave in a more normal manner. BUT, this might take years, depending on the person.

The hardware store thing is funny. Men are very helpful in hardware stores, but I don't know if they are all or predominantly LSEs. It's nice to receive help and attention nonetheless.

The LSE description sounds attractive to me. I just don't know where you meet these elusive people, and I am already not particularly talented at meeting new people.

You can find LSE's in any kind of middle management, engineering-related job. You can also find them fooling around in their hobby boats or with their hobby motorcycles. Anything which relates to machinery or tools.

To meet them, just show an interest in their boat or bike (not in them, not in them, that will scare them off), and act helpless but interested. That is honey to the bees. It also helps if you inject the word "respect" into your conversation. All LSE's crave respect, the same way that SLI's crave "appreciation". Aside from that, just be yourself.

[Lord Pixel]

This act of defaulting to what you call shit posting is exactly what I did to ashlesha when I first started posting on this forum, except in my case, it took the form of being non-serious and teasing her, rather than addressing her directly. I think this is a bad sign in a person in general, but it might be a common defense by Te-doms against dealing with their feelings, which we are very, very unconfident about.

Probably the only antidote to this is to let the Te-dom have some experience with Fi-doms, so the Fi-doms don't look so much like a bag full of hand grenades and guns with their safeties off, with a frantic wolverine in there just to keep things interesting.
After a Te-dom gets some experience with an Fi-dom, the Te-dom can lose a lot of their fear and behave in a more normal manner. BUT, this might take years, depending on the person.





You can find LSE's in any kind of middle management, engineering-related job. You can also find them fooling around in their hobby boats or with their hobby motorcycles. Anything which relates to machinery or tools.

To meet them, just show an interest in their boat or bike (not in them, not in them, that will scare them off), and act helpless but interested. That is honey to the bees. It also helps if you inject the word "respect" into your conversation. All LSE's crave respect, the same way that SLI's crave "appreciation". Aside from that, just be yourself.

Yea I had to learn that the hard way. I spoke to 2 LSEs about typology, and they both did NOT like being "psycho analyzed" I imagine most people don't, but one of them I spoke to he started physically shaking trying to hold a smile that hid his nervousness and the other I could just feel him wanting out of the conversation lol it's so bad.

With the first one all we talked about was him being someone who likes to plan before he takes action and he insisted he was not like that while physically shaking and smiling, it made the rest of us uncomfortable to watch so we immediately stopped.


The second one I was explaining to him that he's LSE and listing out things that are probably true for him, he confirmed saying it was an accurate description but I could tell he was uncomfortable and wanted out, it wasn't like a lightbulb moment like "Whoa that's so true, how do you know that?" like it was for me.

And yea acting helpless yea...-_- it's like crack, but will get you know respect in the long run, but being clever will equal it out I supposed.

[DirectorAbbie]

I spoke to 2 LSEs about typology, and they both did NOT like being "psycho analyzed" I imagine most people don't, but one of them I spoke to he started physically shaking trying to hold a smile that hid his nervousness and the other I could just feel him wanting out of the conversation lol it's so bad.

With the first one all we talked about was him being someone who likes to plan before he takes action and he insisted he was not like that while physically shaking and smiling, it made the rest of us uncomfortable to watch so we immediately stopped.

The second one I was explaining to him that he's LSE and listing out things that are probably true for him, he confirmed saying it was an accurate description but I could tell he was uncomfortable and wanted out, it wasn't like a lightbulb moment like "Whoa that's so true, how do you know that?" like it was for me.

I think the issue is that you made it personal rather than objective.
When my [LII] brother introduced me to socionics, he explained the system without relating it to me, then I pointed out which one I am.
A relationship needs to be formed before the psychoanalysis can take place.
That is...assuming the LSE will be open to it. Some are, some aren't.
I am, obviously, but I'm not typical of LSEs.
I tried psychoanalysis and psychology discussion with my LSE. He was interested at first, as when I described features of my personality he was surprised to find he could easily relate. But he wasn't interested in reading any articles about it - just in hearing my explanations.
Once I had his sociotype settled, I wanted to know his enneagram type, but he kept putting off reading through the enneagram descriptions. Until finally I noticed 6ish behavior and sent him to read just that one description. Then again he agreed that it fit well and seemed to like that, but he didn't delve further.
I eventually tried psychoanalyzing further, and he seems okay with it so long as I'm verbally explaining my own psychological situation. But he's disinterested in general and doesn't see psychology as a worthwhile topic.

[Eliza Thomason]

You can find LSE's in any kind of middle management, engineering-related job. You can also find them fooling around in their hobby boats or with their hobby motorcycles. Anything which relates to machinery or tools.

M LSE brother is upper-middle management in enginerring for a company that makes tool parts... Also he can fix about anything including his motorcycle..

To meet them, just show an interest in their boat or bike (not in them, not in them, that will scare them off), and act helpless but interested. That is honey to the bees. It also helps if you inject the word "respect" into your conversation. All LSE's crave respect, the same way that SLI's crave "appreciation". Aside from that, just be yourself.

Sounds like useful and spot-on advice!