ITR that makes for best roommate situation?
I'm an ILI in grad school and I need a roommate. So far my responses have been from a Supervisor EIE and Kindred IEI. The Kindred is obviously better than my Supervisor.
I'm torn between looking for another roommate and settling for Kindred.
What is the next best ITR for roomming should I not find Activity or Dual?
Somebody typed iei is likely quiet and polite. Which seem like the best traits in a roommate. Unless you're looking for a buddy or something.
Activation IMO. Maybe mirror.
Someone clean who doesn't eat your food; type isn't important unless you plan on seeing each other a lot. Supervision relationships also aren't too bad with the right supervisor.
after living in the dorms for a couple years, I realize I value having my own space...
but if I had to choose a roommate it'd be with someone my quadra or someone that values the most functions.
imo other types will irritate you over time, not necessarily right away.
with that being said sometimes you can't be too picky and your stuck lol
When it comes to finding a roommate, DCNH types matter far more than primary type. As do other factors like shared interests, activities, cleanliness, and sleep schedules.
Supervisor roommate is not really a bad thing. Conflict/superego I might be hesitant about. Duality, partial duality, contrary, mirage - sign me up! Other relations are far more difficult to predict purely based on a type. The most troublesome roommate experience I've had was a mirror relation, whereas I got along great with my supervisor.
I agree with everything @nefnef said, although your mileage may vary.Originally Posted by nefnaf
My best roommate was my ex-wife, my Supervisor, but we shared many interests, activities, cleanliness and sleep schedules. It was probably a bit easier for me than it was for her. I had a Supervisee roommate who was not so great; not horrible, sometimes good, but not great.
Second best, in the sense of not being any trouble, was Extinguishment. We quickly settled into a routine where we interacted almost not at all. We just established absolute rules (you can drink the other guy's beers as long as you replace them within 24 hours, and you never drink the last beer in the fridge if it belongs to him, you clean the place once a week, your dishes are never left unwashed overnight, etc.), and then we proceeded to live our lives as if the other person literally wasn't there. We spoke almost not at all, but still had sympathy for each other.
Two very bad roommates I had were both Mirrors. We irritated the hell out of each other in ways that were almost indescribable. They were both OK guys at a distance, but living with them changed that perception. That j/p difference, coupled with similar other preferences, made for some horrible character surprises.
The absolute worst roommate I had might have been from the opposing quadra. About all I can say about the guy from a Socionics standpoint is that he was an Extroverted Infantile who was terrible at making and saving money, and he'd happily get in my face for stupid reasons. He wanted a woman to support him, he cleaned up great and his room was a health hazard, he borrowed money and didn't pay it back, and he was generally an asshole (from my standpoint. We had a mutual friend who liked both of us.) He also seemed Narcissistic to me, but at that point, it was hard for me to distinguish between every bad characteristic he had. There was absolutely nothing that I liked about the guy. We got into a fistfight in a parking lot. Quasi-Identical?
Last edited by Adam Strange; 06-19-2019 at 04:44 AM.
I had a kindred and a conflictor as roommates one time. That went well. I left because the conflictor started doing meth in the living room with a bunch of people. Previously to this the kindred and conflictor decided to fight each other in the street along with the conflictor's friends. After I moved out he knocked out the kindred. Me and the kindred got along ok but he was excessively prideful about weird things. Basically the conflictor turned that part of the apartment complex into a ghetto because his friends started moving in and I went to go live with a bunch of chill single 40 year olds and never got another roommate after that setup.
^ Ah. L'amore.
I do not usually communicate with people who seem uninteresting. Lots of flatmates fall into this category.
All I know that once there was a guy who wore indoor sandals, sterilized everything and got phobic when post felling down from post hatch induced panic to a state that he me owner to call me and come from hundreds of kilometres away to pick it up (I declined from the honor). It was like living on eggshells although word eggshell would cause probably some sort of OCD like symptom in him to occur.
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I've had 2 really good rooming situations w ESIs.
We were friends too and the best part was we were both moody ppl with regular daily stress, but we basically knew it wasn't personal and our relationship was fine even if one person was snappy one day. Everything was clean and just so... emotionally respectful.
I'd rather not make a mess than be forced to clean - although neither situation really seems to apply to me.
I guess someone who is interesting, initiates interaction at proper times and likes to monitor the mutual physical environment. Not that i have any advanced conception of a living partner, really.
There are a myriad of factors other than ITR that you should consider first; however p-types together tend to get along better living under the same roof than a p-j mix - but ITR really shouldn't be a show stopper.
a.k.a. I/O
nope .. sorry sir
Therefore, if ILE receives his "sensory care" alongside with reproaches and reservations, if he, in addition to all, it served with a bill, he can feel deeply hurt and disappointed, since such information does not match the expectations of his suggestive function - he did not expect such a partner nor imagined such manner of behaving. Over time, he begins to be wary of the "sensory supervision" of Hugo, fearing that consequently he will be presented with some absurd claims and exorbitant demands.
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...Stratiyevskaya
i think you dealing with Gob Bluth
God, I think you might be right.nope .. sorry sir
Therefore, if ILE receives his "sensory care" alongside with reproaches and reservations, if he, in addition to all, it served with a bill, he can feel deeply hurt and disappointed, since such information does not match the expectations of his suggestive function - he did not expect such a partner nor imagined such manner of behaving. Over time, he begins to be wary of the "sensory supervision" of Hugo, fearing that consequently he will be presented with some absurd claims and exorbitant demands.
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...Stratiyevskaya
i think you dealing with Gob Bluth
The guy was certainly extroverted and he was so bad at math that he could just barely count money. He worked as a cab driver because it gave him a lot of opportunities to hang out in bars and to meet women, and it required absolutely no self-discipline and no special talents.
He was looking for a woman to support him. His method for this was to spend lavishly on the first date. Flowers, expensive cab rides to expensive places, he'd pay for everything, throw money around like it was nothing. On the second date, he'd say that
he was a bit short on cash and could they go Dutch? On the third date, he'd have no money and the woman would have to pay for everything, and if she did, he knew that he had her on the line.
He told me that he was absolutely unable to get a girl unless he already had one, so he had issues with self-esteem but not with cheating. He once brought a girl back to the house, and after he fucked her, he told her that now he wished she could turn herself into a line of coke and a six pack of beer.
After I stopped seeing this one GF, he chased her, got her (he could be incredibly charming, and the clothes he wore made a perfect impression. Clothes were so important to him), and brought her back to the house to watch TV for one afternoon just to show me that he'd had her, then he dumped her.
He left the house owing me $2500 in back rent, because he was such a fuckup that he couldn't find a job but was great at promising that he was going to have one any day now.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 06-19-2019 at 02:12 PM.
Almost any other factor is worth considering before Socionics compatibility. You don’t have to interract with your roommates beyond making sure they pay rent, don’t eat your food, and working out who’s buying toilet paper. Any two types, in the abstract, can live together peacefully — as long as they’re responsible.
I used to have a ILE roommate for 6 months when I was a student. I knew him from before. But it didn't go that well. After awhile we didn't have that much to say to each other, and things stagnated. So I agree that you should also look at other things than sociotype.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
I want an ESE to baby me lol.
Edit: I’ll explain
I’d prefer to live with a rational type for obvious reason. And an extrovert. I feel like a fellow introvert would be bad for me. I’d also prefer a fellow ethical type as a roommate. I don’t think I’d want a Si PoLR as a roommate. I’d rather feel the FeSi vibes lol.
Pretty subjective really. Just think about what you’d like, I guess? Like I don’t like it when people are messy but other people it doesn’t bother.
Id say pick someone honest who won’t steal your stuff as an important factor.
But I know people who have struggled to find roommates. Sometimes you just cant be that picky and have to accept someone that you can live with. I’d consider it a learning experience
Last edited by Aster; 06-19-2019 at 03:27 PM.
ILE roommate
Some of you have me thinking IEI wouldnt be that bad to live with then I remember I can't stand IEI bitch slapping my ILI Fe- polr.
I think Kindred roommate will eventually be quiet competition.
2 Se inferiors could let the house look like a shitstorm and none of us will ever be home alone since neither of us will ever leave
2 Ni dominants mean 2 mfs doing whatever they want
1 Te creative means I'm trying to do shit that works (garbage charts, chore calendars)
1 Fe creative means she's gonna probably have her friends over getting on my damn nerves.
As far as supervisor, everything I read said avoid living with one. Everyone I know living with one is experiencing a slow decline in health both mental and physical and don't even know what the problem is, I'll pass on that.
My dream roommate is my semidual SLE who will probably almost never be home.
^But when he is home, he will take over all the space and will cover every single surface with crap.
The up side, of course, is that he will know exactly where everything is. Ask him where the blue bottle opener is, or that ball of string that you last saw in 2015, and he will know.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 06-19-2019 at 09:43 PM.
any not bad IR should fit
more important are other factors. it's not close friendship relations where IR are important
What is considered ''bad'' IR? Where is the cutoff? Is this scale symmetrical between all TIM?
orthogonal quadra
also mb related: subrevisie, suborderie
And ''good'' IR would be same quadra and Mirage, Semi-dual? Is there a definitive ranking to look at?
I have seen many ordered lists of ITR compatibility, and they all differ from one another. For example, https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...type-Relations
Personally, I would look at marriage frequencies to estimate compatibility. I saw an interesting article on that, but I can't find it at the moment.
Also, keep in mind that your mileage may vary. I was in a Supervision relationship for many years. Granted, she was an SLI-Te, which made her look more like a Mirror, but Supervision is generally rated as being one of the worst ITR's. What kept us together was similar social backgrounds and shared goals, and a desire to work together. We ultimately divorced, which is why I'm looking for a dual now, but those other factors can be very important.
Just want to say that Supervision is a very devilish relationship. They can seem attractive, and you can get along GREAT, but they slowly eat you from the inside. And none of you know what's happening (unless you know socionics). This is my experience anyway.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
to "good" for close friendship and marriages I'd relate only: dual, semidual and mb activation
"mb", as I never had strong attraction to activators. just relatively nice people. I had a pal activator. and studed with 2 activator girls which were interesting, but not enough to take them seriously. so I have some doubts how that would be compared to base Fi people - high much similar to that to relate to the same group
In the line order from best to worst for marriages and the probability of emotional satisfaction in close friendship relations (not about cooperation as coworkers, pals with surface mutual interests, etc).
Friendship I understand as emotional state when people want to share together the life of each other, to live together by one life - as in "romantic" love, except no sexual attraction. The more of this emotions - the more it's friendship is, but not a cooperation of pals, coworkers, etc.
_good_
dual
semidual
activator [semidual and activator mb switched. activator mb placed to neutral]
_neutral high_
mirage
mirror
identity [mirror and identity mb placed to neutral middle too]
_neutral middle_
relative
_neutral low_
business
orderer
revisor [orderer and revisor mb placed to bad too]
_bad_
contrary
quasiidentity
suborderie
subrevisie
conflictor
superego
I saw someones supposed that mirror or identity are better than semiduality because of the same quadra. Not for romances, marriages, soul attraction in friendships. To cooperate in a work or study - mb better, as people often have similar skills, interests, life understanding - but they give to and attract not much as persons each other as are too similar. You may find a lot of "friends" with those 2 IR - they may spend time together alot, to entertain - but they do not give good support to each other, it's rather surface relations. Significant % of marriages mb with those 2 IR - people cooperate ok in household, but there is no deep feelings and in harder times those pairs should become instable. That's why I do not relate them to good, despite you may see many people who interact in those IR and may think them as good relations.
Also. Issues of conflictors are noticable on close distances. They may look good in other cases. In IR test people may assign them to higher half easily.
Last edited by Sol; 06-20-2019 at 08:44 PM.
@Sol
To put superego below conflictor - is it that conflictors have intrinsic value still, being proficient in the weak functions of the partner? Superego does not have enough strength in the right areas, akin to activation?
The weakest function by Jung is suggestive/role. Superego may harm more.
In my experience I remembered superegos as the most annoying and traumatic people. In my perception is the similar - mainly conflictors I perceive as funny and cute people. I liked women conflictors much more. EIEs are often rude and loud for my taste, difinetely more than IEI.
Conflictors are more different than you and may to have issues which superegos have no - for example other J/P. Anyway, the main reason to think conflictors as the worst for Augustinavichiute was that she thought as weakest "polr" function, what controverts to Jung and has lesser theoretical basis. I suspect she could mistake as mixed what people consciously perceived and reported as more annoying and underesteemated the factor of lesser consciousness of suggestive/role functions. It's alike anesthesia, - people may feel worse but lesser understand the reasons.
> Superego does not have enough strength in the right areas, akin to activation?
they have strenghtes the same alike duals, but use them in incompatable format with you
Hmm I haven't really had an Extinguishment / Contrary roommate, but there was a guy who stayed in the same hostel as me for a couple of weeks. We would hang out and play cards all the time. I actually learned a lot from him.
What you wrote about mirror could just as well apply to my own experience. I also have a close relative whose type is ILE. We normally have a good relationship, but when we went traveling together and shared a room for a while things got somewhat dicey. Perhaps we can generalize a rule that mirror roommates are especially problematic? It is worth considering.
Honestly, the only time having roommates really worked out for me was with an SLI and LSI, but they were childhood friends. I think what made it so great is that we were all pretty independent, but could also be around each other without there being any kind of stupid expectations about anything - except for paying our share of the rent. But we just kind of had fun sometimes and did our own thing the rest of the time. I'd like to say that had nothing to do with Socionics or something, but in retrospect it seems to, compared to living with LSEs and ESEs at other times, which seem to have all these damn expectations about what a roommate is supposed to be...like sharing responsibilities and getting involved in each other lives and shit...
Other introverts are probably your best bet, if they are healthy people.
To be honest though, I'm planning to buy a large cheap plot of land with a long commute for work, since I don't really like being around most people, so maybe I shouldn't be giving my opinion or something, but that has been my truth.
edit: oh and I self-type ILI-Te.
Androgynous Robot Dreamer - Not really human, but good at pretending.
Best roommate is a ghost roommate imo. Someone you never see and often don't know is there.
God that show was hilarious.nope .. sorry sir
Therefore, if ILE receives his "sensory care" alongside with reproaches and reservations, if he, in addition to all, it served with a bill, he can feel deeply hurt and disappointed, since such information does not match the expectations of his suggestive function - he did not expect such a partner nor imagined such manner of behaving. Over time, he begins to be wary of the "sensory supervision" of Hugo, fearing that consequently he will be presented with some absurd claims and exorbitant demands.
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...Stratiyevskaya
i think you dealing with Gob Bluth
not type related!!!!111
Dogs, cats and turtles
I don't know what your priorities are but a roommate who is not closed off and who seems to want companionship is the best imo. If they are open for chat and not just there to sleep and do their basic functions it's so much easier to talk about potential issues etc. I swear it really helps when your roommate is not a wall and is actually a human being who wants to interact. Also someone who is open for compromises if you can ever spot that person in just one convo. I remember one of the rooms in our dorm before having troubles because someone doesn't like any lights on after 10.
But if you want to factor in types, it's probably best to choose someone from your own quadra.
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