Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
On first meeting a dual, if the two people haven't had much or any prior experience with duals, the other person can seem to be very, very different from what each one considers to be normal.
The more I think about this, the better I agree with it. I used to be skeptical that ESEs would be a perfect match for me — due mainly to bad experiences with my mother, an immature and otherwise mentally troubled ESE, but also since the personality difference seemed too extreme. I think, speaking of which, duality requires more maturity on both sides than relationships which share IEs in the ego block: on one hand, partners have to actually be aware of what they lack, and on the other, immature people are actually still somewhat insecure in their ego functions, and haven’t yet made peace between themselves/their ego block and the external world, and so seek similar partners to help them confront or resist it.

Because of both my own insecurity and my mother’s, I felt barraged, growing up, by Fe and Si; the atmosphere felt oppressive, and I hated it. I was attracted to situations and people which displayed no Fe or Si elements to them, because I felt it was easier to breathe, metaphorically, and I could “be myself” as the phrase goes (who is anyone ever but themselves?). Specifically I really loved Ne types; they felt most like breaths of fresh air.

The more time I spend away from my family, though, the more peace I’ve made with the idea of an ESE. I’m in a relationship now with an SEI, and I appreciate her Fe and Si because they aren’t similar to my base functions, but complementary. We do have our problems though, many of which I think are rooted in her own immaturity.