People raised by family in opposite quadra.

[youfloweryourfeast]

My mother is beta and she is EIE very good at pressuring others and influencing people. When depression takes over in me she listens but she wants me to be perfect and the best daughter. She had put a lot of pressure on me to do well in school and it took me long to adapt to her ways as before I live with her and my delta father. Now I just lived with her and she became more demanding. I was lazy and depressed and didn't see any future in myself so I would waste my time.
She use to take the locks off my doors and with my brother she use to watch him through cameras. She had bipolar but wouldn't take her meds and many meltdowns, I could never help her the way she needed. I would make mistakes and I was clumsy and not aware, and she was unaware of her emotional fe unleeching this on me.
I think if I didn't become aware of socionics I would have stayed with her for ever. I was attatched to her as a child and because I felt deep empathy for her that she could always change. She told me she thinks of herself as a narcissit and I know I have a latch for narccistics as they cling to me. Being around her for to long we fight and her ni has strong perceptions that you cannot change her mind upon. I don't hate ni it is just not for me especially ni-fe it is not what I need to help me. I maybe see it negatively due to my past and see it as manipulative and I know it wants people to change and adhere to their ways, because they see their ways as correct. I agree they have stronghold on realilty and how to do things properly that I don't posesses which I see them as intelligent in that way. It is just not what I feel safe around for a very long time and it starts to drain me.
I guess I developed my superego in some way, because then I had strong cognitive thoughts that distracted me because I was bored and wanted to learn things. I had attention problems in high school and couldn't adapt properly to force myself to care. I just wanted to learn my own things like socionics or what ever my intrest was.
Then I was tired of the struggles and wanted to become something different so I forced myself to neglet my thinking how my ne made me want to know everything. Basically I tried to be normal and have simplistic thinking, and just wake up go to school come back do school and sleep. I observed others and wanted to be like them, I was still depressed though I just hid it all better and knew once I am done I can go away from my mother and have my own path.
I feel like I have a strong focus on my role it kinda leads me in some aspects I'm not sure. Also my grandfather was LSI 1 and he would live with us for long periods of time he wasn't imposing but it seemed when he came my mother became different. He wanted things to be done correctley and our house to be perfectly cleaned.