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Thread: People raised by family in opposite quadra.

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    mindless Aeris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackberry View Post
    I've met some that seem to be an "hybrid" between own quadra values and opposite quadra values. Such ppl have hard time coping with life or having a normal adulthood since they seem unable to fulfill "social" expectations (opposite quadra-familiar values), plus they were taught to see part of their natural values as wrong. So they seem to gravitate in some kind of loophole or void where they seem to not fit in any of the quadras and be rejected by all of them.
    Since kids seem to learn to act as pseudo quasi identical (the type they are more close to) to avoid "hurting" one or both of the parents or mixing up with their primary environment.

    edit. Also is easy for them to develop some phobias or anxiety and disadaptation falling out in a loop of using Role Function to match with what's required from them.
    When one becomes this hybrid kind of person, it brings inner conflict, so in a way, as they conflict with themselves, they may conflict with others too as a reflection of what is inside. Is it possible that the parent is conflicted and transfers that to the child without necessarily being a conflictor? And if so, there comes the question of where did it begin.
    I have thought of having a conflictor parent, but sometimes I wonder if they aren't just conflicted.
    Sometimes, I wonder how much I may be fooling myself over all this.
    At the end of the day, who cares? I feel much better when I don't care, that's for sure.

  2. #2
    Disbelief Jung
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    Quote Originally Posted by wonderland View Post
    When one becomes this hybrid kind of person, it brings inner conflict, so in a way, as they conflict with themselves, they may conflict with others too as a reflection of what is inside.
    This exactly. This ppl live in constant conflict with themselves and others (the cases I've seen).

    Is it possible that the parent is conflicted and transfers that to the child without necessarily being a conflictor?
    If the parent grew up with a conflictor parent and he or she has kids I think they can bring their inner conflicts to their relationships as you and I said above. If you are suggesting that a parent who didnt grew up in a conflicting (opposite quadra) environment but are in a relationship with a conflictor would conflict his/her own kids, my answer is no (I mean, I don't think they project their conflict with another ppl in their kids). I haven't seen it at least. For example I know this EII gf since elementary school and her mom was EIE and her dad SLI (her sisters were ExE and xEI, from a different dad). She always had problems with her mom but never with her dad. She loved her dad , but her parents divorced and he left and moved to another city and had another family (still calling her and visiting her on christmas and else). My friend always said to me that her mom was crazy and hated her and wish her dead (literally) and that it was her fault that his dad left, then she always acted and tried to play as this perpetually perfect innocent holy and selfless kid's mom (this is pretty natural for EII, though). When kid, they both (mom and daughter) lived this kind of "lie" where both pretended that the kid was in the same quadra, this friend and I became best friends and her mom projected the guilt in me and his ex (both her conflictors), about everything wrong between her and her daughter. Then, she moved from people who were "guilty" of the stuff she didn't like in her daughter (when I changed from school and her ex had a new baby), to "influencing negatively" in her (lol, yeah, negatively with opposite quadra values) , till, at some point in the EII teen years, her mom finally accepted her kid was different and started living her conflict with her openly (her home was always full of conflict and all these crazy females yelling at each other, this EIE mom had later problems with her probably SEI middle daughter and the SEI left home and married to some random dude). I see as recurrent pattern passive aggression in kids towards their parents, and compulsive eating (mb due emotional over-eating and the feeling of lack of love). Most of the ppl in Alpha or Delta didn't accepted my friend or didnt accepted her "openly" or as "intimate" friend, because she's this kind of hybrid and grew up with a bunch of complexes which at some point or another interfere in most of her ITRs.

    And if so, there comes the question of where did it begin.
    I have thought of having a conflictor parent, but sometimes I wonder if they aren't just conflicted.
    Sometimes, I wonder how much I may be fooling myself over all this.
    At the end of the day, who cares? I feel much better when I don't care, that's for sure.
    I'd suggest making them some tests in case you are interested in getting rid of doubts.
    Last edited by Faith; 05-03-2019 at 09:19 PM.

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    youfloweryourfeast's Avatar
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    had similar issue, my dad an LSE and my mom EIE but they divorced
    then me and my mom moved to new state(the intention before was for all of us to move but my dad decided to divorce then) would call my dad saying "can I live with you" ect.,because became depressed
    my mum is unhealthy EIE so I have similar perceptions as that EII
    lol, lived this kind of "lie" where both pretended that the kid was in the same quadra, idk why but this happens to me a lot with EIEs because I dont clash with them if I'm just around them brieftly,(me and my mum got along fine when I was little) same for LSIs which is my brother I like him more than my mum I guess

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