Outgoing and socially involved SLIs-ISTps

[Joy]

was he WITH you at the time though, or did he just like you?

[SenoritaC]

I know a couple ISTps, an old boyfriend and my mom, who are extremely outgoing. I was really scratching my head about their types for a while, until Peter said that my mom is INTp. INTp doesn't make sense for her because she has shitty Ni, but I suggested ISTp and he agreed. Later she tested ISTp, and the more I learn about socionics, the most sense it makes. The other one tested ISTp and said that the description fits him very well. I compared his behavior to my mom's and it all made sense...

Both of these ISTps are very outgoing. They try to be sun shiney and very friendly, but it's horribly awkward and embarassing and they are generally not well liked. My mom has a bit of an easier time because she has friends from church who do the fake sunshiney thing as well to some extent and really relate to her, like an INFj (she's also good friends with his ENFp wife).

The 4th function is a conscious function... it's one we can use but cannot control. There are a lot of people who overcompensate for their 4th function, and these two are perfect examples.

Has anyone else observed this behavior in ISTps?

I kinda used to be like that. I live in a very outgoing environment, and I would force myself to be “sun shiney and very friendly” with everyone; but like you said it was rather awkward; because it didn’t come natural to me.
It wasn’t until I found out about socionics and MBTI that I decided to quit the bs and just be myself.

I know a very outgoing Si subt istp. More outgoing than me for sure. He's well liked too.

The two ISTp guys i know are more Outgoing than me. My good friend isn't brilliant with people but the other one everyone seems to like naturally.

My ISTp husband moved to the US from Australia after knowing me not that long. Is it weirder because it's Fiji?

this is an interesting thread, any more impressions now that its been a few years??

[Suz]

The ISTp I know always struck me as very outgoing. MUCH more so than me (as other IEEs here have also apparently experienced). Very self confident, can talk easily, fluently, think of witty things to say in a microsecond on his feet. To the point that I spent about 6 months considering him SLE and myself IEI (converting from MBTI was also involved in my GROSS mistypings, as well as probably my inherent IEE-ness). As I got more and more into the socionics theory and discussing my interactions with him with the beta quadra, many aspects just didn't seem to fit or make sense with those typings. When the typings changed to SLI and IEE, suddenly it ALL made sense. Everything.

Like some others here have said about ISTp's they know, this guy is VERY well liked. He even joked at one point that girls get withdrawal symptoms from him, and frankly. . .it's true.

Topaz' description of his/her interaction with an SLI describes my interaction with this SLI perfectly:

secret dialogue of movements and eye contact and inner understanding. The longer we associate the more in tune our understanding becomes. They seem to like it and feel weird about it at the same time because it makes them feel vulnerable

. . .and was very different from interactions he (or I for that matter) had with most other people.

I also got the feeling that he was intimidated by me. And he probably has reason to feel that way. I am better than him in many ways Though he is so great in many ways I wish I were--I dont need or want someone perfect.

I also unleashed a series of pretty aggressive moves lately (heck maybe i was being "aggressive" before without realizing it), including a full confession of my attraction to him. Unfortunately he decided to pursue a more simple relationship with a probable SEE or SLE before I did so. Perhaps it's part of the SLIs' "bulk analysis". . .whatever He is risking that I find another SLI whom I like more in the meantime while he comes to the realization that his extinguishment or mirage relationship isn't all that. . .

[Cyrano]

[the ISTp will] think of witty things to say in a microsecond on his feet. .

I think that's typical, if what I think I say is as witty as I think it is when I say it.

Like some others here have said about ISTp's they know, this guy is VERY well liked. He even joked at one point that girls get withdrawal symptoms from him, and frankly. . .it's true.

Well, that may not be typical.

I also unleashed a series of pretty aggressive moves lately (heck maybe i was being "aggressive" before without realizing it), including a full confession of my attraction to him.

You know what worked for me as an ISTp? You have to take it slow. If you attack, he will flee. If you just make your interest known VERY clearly, he will take the next step. But you have to be crystal clear that you are interested, but not too much.

So you don' say, "WOW I want you." (run away!)

You should demonstrate that he would have a zero percent chance of failure if he asks."

That sound weak? From my perspective, the women drive the courtship. We are ALWAYS interested if she looks good and would be receptive. If she's TOO interested, she must be desperate. (run away!)

So if you think you've gone too far, back off, keep the channels open, but the ball is his now.

[xyz]

I'm outgoing when I wanna get something.

[tiny_dancer]

Ah, yes, the 'ol "ask without asking."

Who says men aren't complicated??

*sigh* I do not have enough patience to date you guys. I wish I did, but having to play mind games just makes me annoyed and I end up leaving.

[Lobo]

Well, that may not be typical.

haha .

Ah, yes, the 'ol "ask without asking."

Who says men aren't complicated??

*sigh* I do not have enough patience to date you guys. I wish I did, but having to play mind games just makes me annoyed and I end up leaving.

For sure, men are also complicated. Of course I'm biased when I say that women are more complicated in general, but let's not go there.

[jewels]

yeah my sli bf can be very outgoing, but it's an effort. I can tell that he's in "outgoing mode." Either that, or when he's drunk he seems outgoing. He comes across as gregarious and smiles a lot. I was confused at first because in his photos he didn't have the ISTp "eyes" but then he said he was drunk in most of his photos. Around me he is way quieter and zones out more. But w/ others he tries to smile a lot, asks more questions, etc.

[tiny_dancer]

I wonder if guys are just naturally clueless, regardless of type. A good EII friend of mine was married to an SLI and used to say his wife was incomprehensible, but she could read him like a book. I thought he was supposed to have FiNe mindreading abilities. What happened to those?? He was pretty good with everybody else.

Whatever. I'm not complicated. *bats eyelashes*

[Cyrano]

haha .




For sure, men are also complicated. Of course I'm biased when I say that women are more complicated in general, but let's not go there.

True.

If everyone were good looking, I don't think we would have such problems. :-)

[Cyrano]

Ah, yes, the 'ol "ask without asking."

Who says men aren't complicated??

*sigh* I do not have enough patience to date you guys. I wish I did, but having to play mind games just makes me annoyed and I end up leaving.

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

[jewels]

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

I like that you're seeing the good in people, but some ISTps ARE players. I've confirmed this with my field tests and "research" lol.

I don't think ISTps consciously pick up on the signals, but they do sorta tell somehow. When someone is relating to them well, the relate back and it escalates. etc. Give the ISTps more credit. They can be very good at being a player, and can be vague and misleading as well when they feel like it. (not all, some)

[tiny_dancer]

Oh, I was talking more about how men will assume you're desperate if you're honest with them.

Of course, more often than not one person will be more interested than the other person is. Gotta give them time to get on the same page, which may or may not happen. So yeah, I know why honesty doesn't work, it's just annoying.

[Suz]

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

Interesting, because that is probably something IEE's can't give you. At least, with cases of romantic interest, I end up inadvertantly giving all these mixed signals, and I try to be subtle about my interest until it gets to the point where I become worried that he might not be getting the hint, and i want to give the opportunity justice, so I just end up coming clean.

I really dont know how aggressive my confession was actually. (it went in written form, since I moved away recently). I tried to keep it restrained and classy, but I did come right out and state that I'd become very attracted to him. I didn't want to take any chances of him not getting the point. However, I did acknowledge that he is now in a relationship and I regret having missed the opportunity to tell him sooner. The thing is, I had been hinting for several months now, and in person we were constantly having the Topaz-like interaction before I moved away, so I suspect he did realize that there may be something there and so I dont think my confession came as a complete surprise to him. If anything, it probably confirmed his suspicions.

[Park]

You know what worked for me as an ISTp? You have to take it slow. If you attack, he will flee. If you just make your interest known VERY clearly, he will take the next step. But you have to be crystal clear that you are interested, but not too much.

So you don' say, "WOW I want you." (run away!)

You should demonstrate that he would have a zero percent chance of failure if he asks."

That sound weak? From my perspective, the women drive the courtship. We are ALWAYS interested if she looks good and would be receptive. If she's TOO interested, she must be desperate. (run away!)

So if you think you've gone too far, back off, keep the channels open, but the ball is his now.

I simply have nothing to add.

ISTps are not players. We just don't pick up on signals very well. We need clarity and balance.

I feel like I'm quoting myself now.

True.

If everyone were good looking, I don't think we would have such problems. :-)

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

[Cyrano]

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

But there's so much room in here!

[Suz]

But there's so much room in here!

OMG you SLIs and your HUGE heads. . .

btw