How did you come to realize that you had only once chance of having children? Did it occur due to a physically critical period or a philosophical shift of views?Originally Posted by MrsTortilla
How did you come to realize that you had only once chance of having children? Did it occur due to a physically critical period or a philosophical shift of views?
Curious minds want to know. I know a couple ESI's I'd like to have children with.
LOL @Adam Strange! You need to PM me photos of your prospective ESI's so I can rule out ISTj's for you. ;-> I think you are quite drawn to LSI's as well.Curious minds want to know. I know a couple ESI's I'd like to have children with.
I don't think I'll ever have children but then again nothing is impossibleCurious minds want to know. I know a couple ESI's I'd like to have children with.
For men it's easier, you can even keep the possibility in mind after 50 or so, women have to make that decision earlier
Some men, like one of my grandfathers, have kids into their 90's. Women have to deal with quite a lot of difficult decisions... Nature is a cruel master.
Nah.men endanger their kids if they help make them after age thirty-five. Also, we can all adopt.
It is more dangerous for babies if their father helps make them after he is thirty-five
Really? Where did you read that? I know people whose parents were both +40 when they were born and they are intelligent, healthy individuals.
Google Scholar.
look at sample size.
you're using people you know.
they may be in the less affected or lucky group
The principle difference exists that men are much lesser limited by age to have children, unlike women which are doubtful to born after 40-45 at all or without critical health problems for them and children.
Now about that "more". The risk from men age itself can be low, at least mb up to 50 yo. The stats I saw were gotten from general view, where a correlation does not point on reasons. Older fathers have older women. That mother's age influences strongly is evident. Also there are negative factors which may be _linked_ with age and may influence, as that many older men take meds with side effects, may use alcohol for long time, may work for long near dangerous substances (women more rare have such jobs), may for long time eat low quality meal, may to have reduced immunity due to lack physical load, more of them have disorders which may influence, etc. This makes the _degree_ of fathers' age factor (taken itself) as questionable still and thay risks may vary significantly among concrete people. Also it's important how much is that "after".
For correct data for the men age factor, they'd need to take children born from young (<25 yo) women with men of 35-40 yo (and other 5 year range groups) without significant additional risks (alcoholism, toxic environments at occupations, some health disorders, etc). Then to compare the criterion with pairs where both parrents are young. I did not hear about such researches still.
You seem to have not read this: "Regardless of paternal age, however, if the father was 11 years or older than the mother, that rate jumped to 24 percent. The greatest risk of mental health disorders—42 percent—was seen in the children of fathers aged 50 and older, with wives at least 11 years younger than their husbands."https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/children-with-older-dads-at-greater-mental-illness-risk/
as for that:
"Work – formal and informal, paid and unpaid – plays a central role in the lives of people all across the world.
Through work, women and men define themselves and their roles in society. Yet while many jobs provide both
income and personal satisfaction, they may also pose hazards and risks to health and safety. The ILO estimates
that each year about 2.3 million men and women die from work-related accidents and diseases, including close
to 360,000 fatal accidents and an estimated 1.95 million fatal work-related diseases.1
Hazardous substances
cause an estimated 651,000 deaths, mostly in the developing world. These numbers may be greatly underestimated due to the inadequate reporting and notification systems in many countries.
The risks to men workers are better known given that occupational safety and health considerations had
previously focused on dangerous jobs, in sectors dominated by male workers. Today, however, women represent
over 40 percent of the global workforce, or 1.2 billion out of the global total of 3 billion workers.2
This increasing
proportion of women in the workforce has lead to a range of gender-related questions about the different
effects of work-related risks on men and women, in terms of exposure to hazardous substances, or the impact of
biological agents on reproductive health, the physical demands of heavy
work, the ergonomic design of workplaces and the length of the working
day, especially when domestic duties also have to be taken into account.
Moreover, occupational safety and health (OSH) hazards affecting
women workers have been traditionally under-estimated because OSH
standards and exposure limits to hazardous substances are based on
male populations and laboratory tests.3
Sex-based labour force segregation contributes to different workplace
health and safety challenges for women and men. For example, men
are more present in industries such as construction and mining, while
the vast majority of women workers are in agriculture and the services
sectors.4
Women are more likely than men to have low paid jobs and
are less likely than men to be supervisors and managers. A significant
proportion of women can also be found in the informal economy where
they face unsafe and unhealthy working conditions, low or irregular
incomes, job insecurity and lack of access to information, markets,
finance, training and technology."
1 ILO. Beyond deaths and injuries: The ILO’s role in promoting safe and healthy jobs, Report for discussion at the XVIII World Congress on Safety and Health at Work, Seoul, Korea, June 2008, p. 1. 2 ILO. Global Employment Trends for Women, March 2009, p. 10. 3 V. Forastieri, Information Note on Women Workers and Gender Issues on Occupational Safety and Health (Geneva, ILO, SafeWork, 2000), p. 3. 4
ibid., p.3.
THIS IS NOT UNIQUE TO MALES in the OLDER subset of the population. It would hold true in older women, as well.
"children born to women who are 22 to 24 years old have a 29 percent higher risk of schizophrenia than those with mothers in their early 30s. For children born to mothers 15 to 21 years old, the risk of schizophrenia jumps by 76 percent.
That parental age influences autism and schizophrenia risk in opposite directions hints at separate underlying mechanisms, says Daniel Weinberger, professor of psychiatry, neurology and neuroscience at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, who was not involved with the study.
For instance, the risk of autism from having an older father may stem from spontaneous mutations in sperm that accumulate over time, Weinberger says. This type of mutation may be less important for schizophrenia risk. (Some have cast doubt on the aging sperm theory in autism as well, however.)
The study also revealed that both autism and schizophrenia risk increase as the age difference between parents expands — a finding in line with previous reports.
The researchers controlled for variables that influence autism and schizophrenia risk, such as a family history of psychiatric conditions and birth complications. But because older mothers have a high risk of complications such as preterm birth, controlling for those problems may lead to artificially low estimates of the effects of maternal age, says Brian Lee, associate professor of epidemiology and biostatistics at Drexel University in Philadelphia, who was not involved with the study."
Spectrumnews.org
It still well isolates male age as correlated with autism in the offspring, even if in some cases maternal age contribution to current cases of autism may be less clear from this one study, given the isolation that more closely examines male parent age and autism in offspring.
The religion I was raised in strongly discouraged having kids in favor of throwing oneself into religious service, unless you absolutely felt you had to have children. A lot of people I grew up with never ended up having kids as a result. After I left the religious organization at age 20 I no longer believed the dogma but I think I still carried through a disdain for having children (though I expressed all kinds of other reasons for why not to have kids if asked).
When I first fell in love for real around age 24, my attitude about children began to slightly change, because I thought it would be amazing to share such an experience with my partner... but I still wasn't sure. By the time I found the man who would be my husband a few years later, and we got married, I was 30 and I had been feeling that clock ticking for a little while. I just naturally came to that realization I wasn't getting any younger and my options were closing off by the day. I felt the pressure of time. I also noticed that a lot of older 30 somethings around me who had not had kids still seemed to behave like they were in their 20's, a lot of women approaching 40 who never had children were now scrambling to have them, and that couples who were much older but had never had kids overall seemed really eccentric and not in a way I liked. I thought about how, without children, once you get old you'll be alone with no family surrounding you, and have no one to pass things on to. Very sad, really. I was never 100% sure about kids, but took the plunge anyway. The old adage that it is "never the right time" is probably true.
Of course once I had my first baby I realized the obvious: the main purpose of life is to procreate, and there is no greater joy than the love you have for your child. If you haven't yet had kids it's easy to be really negative about it, to scoff at the idea, to discount its benefits. But you don't really grow up until you have kids, in my opinion, and you miss out on probably the best kind of love that is possible.
I might offend some people here by saying some of this, so if I have, it wasn't my intention.
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