There’s something magical about how esi hold babies that calm them down and make them feel safe.
There’s something magical about how esi hold babies that calm them down and make them feel safe.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
The ESIs I know don't want to have children because it is too much responsibility which they are afraid of not being able to handle perfectly.
Such a shame
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
When I was young, I didn’t want to have kids. I was adamant about it. I wanted to focus on my art and music and other pursuits. I had excuses like the good old “the world is too messed up” excuse. But eventually the realization that I had one chance to have children really sunk in (around 29 or so).
LOL @Adam Strange! You need to PM me photos of your prospective ESI's so I can rule out ISTj's for you. ;-> I think you are quite drawn to LSI's as well.
The religion I was raised in strongly discouraged having kids in favor of throwing oneself into religious service, unless you absolutely felt you had to have children. A lot of people I grew up with never ended up having kids as a result. After I left the religious organization at age 20 I no longer believed the dogma but I think I still carried through a disdain for having children (though I expressed all kinds of other reasons for why not to have kids if asked).
When I first fell in love for real around age 24, my attitude about children began to slightly change, because I thought it would be amazing to share such an experience with my partner... but I still wasn't sure. By the time I found the man who would be my husband a few years later, and we got married, I was 30 and I had been feeling that clock ticking for a little while. I just naturally came to that realization I wasn't getting any younger and my options were closing off by the day. I felt the pressure of time. I also noticed that a lot of older 30 somethings around me who had not had kids still seemed to behave like they were in their 20's, a lot of women approaching 40 who never had children were now scrambling to have them, and that couples who were much older but had never had kids overall seemed really eccentric and not in a way I liked. I thought about how, without children, once you get old you'll be alone with no family surrounding you, and have no one to pass things on to. Very sad, really. I was never 100% sure about kids, but took the plunge anyway. The old adage that it is "never the right time" is probably true.
Of course once I had my first baby I realized the obvious: the main purpose of life is to procreate, and there is no greater joy than the love you have for your child. If you haven't yet had kids it's easy to be really negative about it, to scoff at the idea, to discount its benefits. But you don't really grow up until you have kids, in my opinion, and you miss out on probably the best kind of love that is possible.
I might offend some people here by saying some of this, so if I have, it wasn't my intention.
I have this rare male ability to put babies to sleep when they are in my arms. Women seem amazed, but I'm usually so calm that they babies can relax from their mom's anxiety.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
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So last night we had a family bash for my LSE cousin’s 50 th birthday. I am seated next to my mother and ESI aunt. My aunt looks at my child and says “it’s cold in here, too cold for the baby, where are her clothes, is this how you take care of a baby? She’s going to get sick” all of this rant in one long and punishing sentence. It makes me choke the way she’ expresses her concern and I realize I have been raised in primarily Gamma Quadra. I tell her that I brought pants and a jacket for her and they are in her bag. She says to me “what good is it if it’s in a bag!” She’s pressuring me to go grab them and throw them on my child pronto. Her daughter who is also ESI comes to hold her once I have bundled the baby like an Eskimo in Los Angeles and now she starts with me about the baby “she’s been chewing at my finger, her fingers, back of the chair (joke), when are you going to feed the baby!” Gamma is all about “pay attention to your babies hahah. Not joking
These women are all about hurry up and move fast. Apparently I’m too slow in my responses for them
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
ESIs do seem excellent with infants and children that need succour. Though they remain loyal, they don't seem as adept with headstrong children that are determined to do things an alternate way. Many ESIs seem to metaphorically distance or isolate themselves when their children start challenging them......
a.k.a. I/O
That's where the LIE sits the kid down and says, "Kid, we can't really force you to do anything you don't want to do. But consider this; your mother and I are on your side. We want you to grow up to be happy and successful. She's giving you good moral advice on how to relate to people, and I'm showing you what will happen if you follow some of your bahaviors to their logical conclusions. You have our unquestioned support, but you are going to end up with the life that you, yourself, make. And you make that life by the tiny decisions that you make every day.
Now let's take a drive around town and look at some of the citizens and the lives they have made for themselves.
Yes, it seems essential for an ESI to have a partner who can take over in times of stress. I know of one ESI who left her husband and young children for an LSE who had previously left his three young children with their mother; both had nothing to do with the raising of their children once they left. Oddly, the ESI still does a fair amount of babysitting of infants for relatives.
a.k.a. I/O
@Rebelondeck, this is very interesting. I married an SLI because I thought that she would make a good mother. When she became pregnant, we agreed that whoever was earning less would quit their job and stay home to raise the kid. She did NOT want to do that and arranged to get a raise a few weeks before the birth, which put her ahead and so I, per our deal, quit my job and became a househusband and raised the kid.
Maybe this behavior is baked into LIE’s, IDK.
I recently dated an ESI who runs a small business and told her I’d like to have kids. She told me that I’d have to be the one to raise them. I told her I could do that again, but it didn’t make much economic sense because my income can support many people while hers barely supported her. She told me she had lots of nieces and nephews and that was our last date.
On the other hand, I know a male ESI who is divorced with two children (teenagers headed to college) and they both live with him.
ESI are great with babies because of their Si demonstrative. This covers up LIE polr who usyally dont like babies much.
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I saw an LIE guy standing outside of the grocery store wearing one baby and watching his other child play. I’m pretty sure it’s not type related whether you like babies.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
It's true. The thing with LIE's is that they don't like to see glaring vulnerability in any being, and there's nothing more vulnerable than a baby. I've seen LIE's play with babies and like them a great deal too, but LIE's excel with children who are in an age where they are already able to reason. It's even said in the descriptions.
The ESI I know absolutely loves babies. Seeing her face go from so stern and serious to bright and smiling at the sight of a baby is always heartwarming, especially when she starts making goofy faces to make the baby laugh. She can't have kids because of her job but had said she would want some if not for that fact.
I'm no good with babies and children myself. Children and babies always hate me for some reason. Probably because I look like an asshole and talk to them like I do adults...