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Thread: What is the best way to relax?

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default What is the best way to relax?

    I can not relax. I envy those who can. I can not for the life of me. Externally I can go to a park walk etc but internally I’m “this needs to be done, that, let me not forget this and I’ll have to work at this a while.”
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    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    A book and tea works for me, or taking a walk.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Hitting the gym and lifting weights is probably the best way for me. I need to do something to reboot myself and kill the stress. After working out I can relax, read, listen to music.


    Spending a weekend in our cabin in the countryside is also great. Chopping wood and walking in the forest.

    Seeing friends and social dancing

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Here comes the Si @Tallmo I havenít exercised in a while.
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    A bottle of wine also helps a lot. But Ive stopped drinking now because I need to find healthier ways to relax.

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    Smoke a joint of indica and hang out at your room alone with music and videos from YouTube.

    On a more serious note: naps, jogging and meditating work well.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
    Smoke a joint of indica and hang out at your room alone with music and videos from YouTube.

    On a more serious note: naps, jogging and meditating work well.
    Lol Raver. Iím so square about drugs and stuff that if I ever did that my husband would crack up.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    There's no 'way' to relaxing. You're either relaxed or you're not.

    Methods/techniques to relax often make me more anxious. I remember sometimes trying to listen to soothing music/typical anti anxiety stuff and it actually made me MORE stressed- not less. If you can be relaxed even in the midst of chaos- that is the true paramount to change cuz relaxation comes from within not from a CD or mantra or scented candles and hot spas etc.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    There's no 'way' to relaxing. You're either relaxed or you're not.

    Methods/techniques to relax often make me more anxious. I remember sometimes trying to listen to soothing music/typical anti anxiety stuff and it actually made me MORE stressed- not less. If you can be relaxed even in the midst of chaos- that is the true paramount to change cuz relaxation comes from within not from a CD or mantra or scented candles and hot spas etc.
    Thatís a great idea. Iíll try it
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I find it more difficult to not be relaxed. So basically anything I chose to do of my own free will will relax me. Even when I'm stressed or whatever I'm always being tugged out of it.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Iím just gathering ideas and perspectives from my favorite group

    Itís either you or YouTube but YouTube doesnít make me laugh nearly as much as you
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    A year ago we bought an inflatable hot tub, I use it almost every day. To me it's the only effective way of serious loitering and being able of letting go this nagging feeling of always having to do something.

    Obviously you need to have space, and preferably a warm climate so the electricity bill doesn't skyrocket.

    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    There's no 'way' to relaxing. You're either relaxed or you're not.

    Methods/techniques to relax often make me more anxious. I remember sometimes trying to listen to soothing music/typical anti anxiety stuff and it actually made me MORE stressed- not less. If you can be relaxed even in the midst of chaos- that is the true paramount to change cuz relaxation comes from within not from a CD or mantra or scented candles and hot spas etc.
    I think this really differs from person to person. Some people simply need some kind of outside intervention to get into a relaxed state, and this is typically true for Delta NFs. I have a lot of benefits from my spa, but I do realize that this is not necessarily a benefit to a lot of other people. E.g. some people already are in a relaxed state by default, and they sometimes need a proverbial kick in the butt in order to get into action ;-)
    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    @consentingadult

    Yeah, and I also think exercise/something stimulating can also be relaxing at the same time. Idk sometimes I take it to me being left-handed and my brain being backwards compared to most people so sometimes the opposite effect on me will have the right, desired effect lol.

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    1.write down the things you need to do
    2.sort them by priority
    3.plan what you want to do on which day
    4.do said tasks, don't multitask
    5.relax
    because you know that you're getting your shit done

    keep a notebook so you don't forget what you need to do
    revise said notebook at the end of each day

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    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
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    It depends on what you mean by relaxed. To some people, itís chilling out or escapism. To others itís recharging, to some itís being treated to something like a spa day.

    But if youíre not talking about a treat or an escape, but rather you mean wanting to have the values you have, yet be a little less wound up, one thing you can try is Alexander technique. This is a good basic book about it:

    https://www.amazon.com/Body-Learning...s%2C138&sr=8-2
    LSI: ďI still canít figure out Pinterest.Ē

    Me: ďItís just, like, idea boards.Ē

    LSI: ďI donít have ideas.Ē

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    Quote Originally Posted by golden View Post
    It depends on what you mean by relaxed. To some people, itís chilling out or escapism. To others itís recharging, to some itís being treated to something like a spa day.

    But if youíre not talking about a treat or an escape, but rather you mean wanting to have the values you have, yet be a little less wound up, one thing you can try is Alexander technique. This is a good basic book about it:

    https://www.amazon.com/Body-Learning...s%2C138&sr=8-2
    Omg I just read your signature
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Omg I just read your signature
    My husband is the quoted person. He does have ideas, though. I think.
    LSI: ďI still canít figure out Pinterest.Ē

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    LSI: ďI donít have ideas.Ē

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiwi View Post
    1.write down the things you need to do
    2.sort them by priority
    3.plan what you want to do on which day
    4.do said tasks, don't multitask
    5.relax
    because you know that you're getting your shit done

    keep a notebook so you don't forget what you need to do
    revise said notebook at the end of each day
    I read a good recommendation on a book on procrastination once, that basically said the same thing, but added one very important thing: to add recreational/fun activities to your to do list, because without these items, to-do lists might give the subconscious impression that life is all about obligations. I found that was very helpful.

    Another good pointer was not to overplan (because with the more irrational -non-socionically speaking- among us, too much planning can create psychological resistance). And not focus too much an the end result, often tasks have a greater chance of being completed if you just tell yourself you are going to work on it for 30 minutes.

    The future of Socionics:
    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Many black Americans are SEE type.

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    Praying and having the right mindset. Usually I feel stressed out when I start over thinking in stuff with wrong mindset and not looking at stuff within the right perspective. In socionics I think having enough and correct info in Suggestive and Movilizing would get you at ease, while going into Role and Ignoring can stress us (and we work with these functions when we stress as well).

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    to sleep
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    to sleep
    I do suffer from this because baby wakes up in the middle of the night to eat and that's the rest of the night for me right there. Can't get back to sleep.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    @ooo



    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    I do suffer from this because baby wakes up in the middle of the night to eat and that's the rest of the night for me right there. Can't get back to sleep.
    concentrait on good thoughts and stop inner talking to back to sleep
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Impermanence para's Avatar
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    Try to think about the inevitability of it all, and find yourself at peace with the stream - easier said than done, of course. Isn't this what we talk about when we use the term 'wisdom'? To relax, to be at peace?
    "Am I butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi? Never assume what you see and feel is real!"

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    It's a process. I have recently been stressed after work, and when I go to bed I'm still slightly stressed, even after an evening of relaxing at home and I can feel it in the night also. Not good.

    The stress stays in the body and mind somehow. One has to do some compensatory activity to change the circuits in the mind that are stressed. Doing nothing is not good for relaxing if you are already stressed, I agree with BandD.

    I just went to the gym and it worked wonders. Weight lifting at slow pace for one hour and then shower and sauna. Then a short walk home in the nice weather.

    Now I would be ready for even more relaxing things like reading or yoga.

    So I think one has to take it step by step.

    Or one could always move to some small town or village were life is simple and slow.

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    Try to think about the inevitability of it all, and find yourself at peace with the stream - easier said than done, of course.
    I do think this is a big thing about it. No matter how much you improve, no matter what you do or where you go or what you learn- you are going to die. And death is the ultimate peace.

    I think this maybe be why Anthony Bourdain killed himself. I do think suicide is frequently a bigger, more complicated issue than 'god I'm so sad- I want to die.' It's more like to me something where the person gets deep enough to realize the inevitably of everything ending, and just speeds it up a whole bunch.

    I also look at it as why get worked up and stressed over something when .... in the end nothing really matters. /plays angsty linkin park music. Nothing really matters, because there wasn't ever anything there in the first place. Nothing/nihilism is all that there is. It's not sad though, it's only an illusion that it's sad because even the sadness and pain dies, along with the happiness. It just ENDS!!!



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    Learning something new tends to relax me. So does working out and going for hikes.
    ~Psychosophy LFEV
    ~Enneagram 594 sp/so
    ~Phlegmatic-Choleric

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