Quote Originally Posted by golden View Post
I’m not sure whether this is NTR or not, but I’ll mention that I self-type EIE and this is quite antithetical to how I think, and if I were party to it I might have a difficult time dealing with it.

I don’t believe whether someone smokes or not is a proper criterion to judge them and would feel guilty if I made myself wary of a person over something like that. It’s a socially circumscribed matter (yes, it’s unhealthy, but it used to be socially entirely accepted in the US) and doesn’t tell me anything about someone’s real value as another human being. I’d hate to miss out on discovering what someone is really like by distancing them over a transient and imo shallow issue.

I wouldn’t like it if the person were blowing smoke in my face or leaving ciagarette butts on the sidewalk and so in, but if they were reasonably polite about it, it’s kind of none of my business.

I think it’s the same regardless of the issue. The kinds of ”principles” I hold to are very philosophical and have to do with people’s treatment of other people, and the attitudes behind their behavior. In practice how I assess someone is just not simple at all. Unless they make it simple by being an utter ass, ofc.

Again, could be NTR.
Non-Type Related or not, I relate to this in full. Would also probably be hypocritical for me to judge others for health decisions, as I'm clumsy at disciplining myself with shit in the first place. Obviously extreme shit like hard drugs or obesity is another matter, but I try to be patient with stuff like that and encourage people to make better choices for themselves once I get to know them better. Generally, when I'm put-off by people's choices and lifestyle I try to bear with it and facilitate their recovery or betterment. I've had countless people come to me in dark periods of their lives. I believe in the potential to persevere over most sin and disorderly conduct.

Sometimes you just gotta be 'that guy' even if You don't approve. I don't enable them but I'm discretionary in how I approve/disapprove. Only in extreme cases with a close friend do I really strong-arm someone to change something. I can be judgmental or assertive with strangers, but it's almost never over health matters, it's usually behavioral - eg. I perceive them as dishonorable or out-of-line.