Really, so is sx really that moronic and shallow?
What do the Fi people say?
Really, so is sx really that moronic and shallow?
What do the Fi people say?
Well, speaking for myself, yes.Originally Posted by Director Abbie
They usually say No No No No No. Well, that's ESI's, in particular. EII's normally just tell jokes.
I had these saved but don't remember the source. I thought they were decent (brief so not complex) descriptions of instincts so I saved them. Feel free to critique them. If you don't know what critique means, look it up first. TBH I don't want to feel like I am walking on eggshells talking sexual instincts in a thread started by DA but I do. I don't feel that way with most people. Maybe my mom.
I assume these are Delta friendly.
An Overview of Sx
The Sexual Instinct, above all, seeks stimulation, whether it be physical, mental emotional, etc. This, most of the time, manifests as a want; a need for someone, to be intimate with and to fulfill their inner desires, or "make them whole".
When Sx finds someone, it knows it wants them, without hesitating to consider the consequences or background of the person. It wants unlimited connection and intimacy with that person, usually, but not necessarily in a sexual or romantic sense, and caters all their actions toward this person, e.g. making the first move in a relationship.
Some authors have sought to tame this Instinct with new names, such as Intimate or One-to-One, but any attempt at reworking the Instinct into something wholesome/spiritual/romantic misses the mark: the Sexual Instinct is an unbridled narcotic of wanting, untethered by ethics/morality.
The most common metaphor for Sx is a burning flame; a raging fire that keeps itself alive by seeking fuel to feed it. On the other hand, Sx can also be represented as rushing water; a river that seeks nothing more than to find its ocean, someone to lose itself into.
Health Levels
(impacts Sx dominants the most)
Healthy Sx
Advancing Relationships
When healthy, Sx can deepen and strengthen relationships and interpersonal bonds, and steadily ringing intimacy levels to greater and greater heights until satisfaction; like a tight-knit family. The Sx user is adequately stimulated, and confident and caring towards their loved ones and intimates. They have a natural magnetism which draws people in, and can control themselves well.
Average Sx
Fixation and Stimulation
The Sx Instinct starts to become (what it deems as) understimulated and dependent on others, whether it be their close friends or acquaintences, to supply it with energy and life, much like a vampire. Instead of deepening their bonds, the Sx user starts to form "fixations", in which they not only want their person-of-choice's love and attention, but their "soul" as well. This can be overwhelming for some, and can ironically drive people away with the intensity.
Unhealthy Sx
Obsession and Desperation
The Sx instinct becomes drastically understimulated and desperate for love and/or stimulation, and would go to extreme lengths to attain it. This could lead the Sx user down dangerous paths, such as drug abuse or promiscuity. They become an "adrenaline junkie", and this attitude often puts off others and drives them away, and if the Sx user cannot find adequate stimulation to sate their desires, they will eventually sink into despair.
Sx in sx/sp
The sx/sp will only *truly* care about those they are close to, and try to push for more and more intimate relationships between people they already know. The energy from this type is given a laser-focused control by the sp, and seeks stimulation, but in a relatively safe way. This stacking is more willing to be friendly or "fake" soc, in order to attract potential friends or intimates. They build upon the (often few) close relationships they already have; many sx/sps have fantasies of whisking away their loved ones to a secluded place where they can do whatever they want, undisturbed by the world.
Sx in sx/so
The sx/so will often seem like they are driven by pure, uninhibited sx, luring people in and trapping them, much like a Venus Flytrap. This stacking is more prone to dependency, bringing awkward intensity into a group, and dragging "fixations" into it. It waits to see whatever looks nice to grab onto, and will fixate until either the target or the sx/so is drained. Sx/so might look desperate to others. Their energy is akin to battering-rams, charging into relationships and breaking walls until they fall, only to get back up again and continue bashing.
Sx in so/sx
The so/sx will have a similar charm and magnetism to the sx/so, but is generally softer and friendlier, ready to take things more steadily instead of rushing headfirst into things. The so/sx will enter a group, and scatter interpersonal energy (Sx) to a more focused area, and form close bonds with their people of choice. However, it would take a while for them to put their sx relations as a priority, and even longer for them to admit it (more commonly in Fe users).
Sx in sp/sx
Sx in sp/sx seems to be weak and almost non-existent at first, since they themselves always come first. They will never put somebody else before their own needs, even if they're their closest friend. Instead of bulding a castle with their close ones inside like the sx/sp, they build walls around themselves first, secretly hoping for someone to come in. However, this often puts people off becoming closer to them, leaving them alone.
Sx-Blindness
Sx-blinds have a far gentler approach to interpersonal relationships, and are sometimes unsure and cautious in approaching someone they are attracted to. When in a close relationship, they may have trouble or insecurity in showing enough intimacy, and tend to compensate for this through acts of service(so) or advice and stability (sp) for their loved ones and/or partners. Sx blinds also have the tendency to "compartmentalize" their relationships, separating them and putting them into "boxes" (e.g. work acquaintances, online friends, real life friends, etc. are separated).
An Overview of Sp
The Self-Preservation Instinct, above all, craves stability. Both on a physical level (lifestyle, comfort, resources, etc.), and to a lesser extent, on a mental and emotional level as well. Striving for independence and autonomy, it aims to be resourceful in order to deal with life's challenges.
Unlike the other two instincts, which both deal with other people, Sp focuses on the self: how comfortable it is, how safe and secure it is. Sp gears its actions towards this ideal, for example, getting a job to provide steady income, and staying away from potentially harmful situations.
A common defense tactic of Sp to keep away from draining situations/people is to build up "walls", remaining distant and impersonal until it can fully trust the other person. The self can be rigid or fragile, but it must not be harmed at all costs.
A common metaphor for Sp is earth; quite literally grounded, providing fresh fruit for all those who seek to reap it. All things come from Gaia, and all things will return to her.
Health Levels
Healthy Sp
Satisfied Sturdiness
When healthy, Sp brings a grounded quality to the table; it gathers practical skills and tools to use to improve their own life, and to an extent, the lives of others as well. Self-sufficient yet unselfish, it obtains an unmatched balance and stability in their life.
Average Sp
Detached and Hardworking
The Sp Instinct loses some of its much-desired stability, and begins to work harder to keep themselves afloat. Survival becomes their main concern, using common sense and emotional detachment/compartmentalization to deal with situations. Wanting nothing more than to deal with life by themselves, they may actively avoid people, taking away time spent with others to focus on themselves.
Unhealthy Sp
Neurotic Self-Absorption
The Sp instinct descends into delusion and obsessiveness, hoarding and (over)working whenever it can in an attempt to keep their life together. They become selfish and miserly, shoving or cutting off people who get in their way. They sacrifice one aspect of their life to keep another standing, and continue to do this until it all comes crumbling down.
Sp in sp/so
Understanding the need for both solidarity and solitude, sp/so strikes a balance between self-sufficiency and social connection. Their level-headed quality attracts people to them; they're wanted for their stability and ability to pull people back to earth. Equipped with a "if you want something done, do it yourself" attitiude, they prefer to take care of their own issues, but may appease others in order to get ahead. Approachable yet self-assertive, sp/so can be relied on to be a rock in the storm.
Sp in sp/sx
The sp/sx believes and knows it can survive completely on their own, and seems to be driven by pure Sp. They see other people as a hassle to deal with; they get in the way of their autonomy. Secretly coveting a deep connection with another, they more often than not end up making no attempts at sacrificing anything for a significant other, which may result in alienating the few people they hold close to them.
Sp in sx/sp
Sp in sx/sp acts as both a restraint and a safety net for the stacking. As Sx seeks out intense experiences and people, Sp serves to keep it in check, making sure the sx/sp doesn't exert themself, and if they do, they are aware of the consequences. If the sx/sp goes understimulated or crashes and burns, Sp is there to make sure that they can support themselves by themselves, at least until they can recover.
Sp in so/sp
Sp seems feeble and muted in so/sp, and like in sx/sp, also acts as a restraint for so/sp, though it goes to more extreme measures. When the so/sp feels too pressured to please people or fit a Soc standard, sp shuts them down, causing the so/sp to isolate and/or push others away. However, this also gets in the way of the so/sp's need to be with people, resulting in a tension between Soc fears and Sp needs.
Sp-blinds have a lighter, more flighty approach to life. Other-directed instead of self-directed, they tend to be more dependent on others, whether they would like to admit it or not. Though they can be private people, they tend to be more reckless and heedless of consequences than other types. Lacking roots to plant into the ground, they can break up the monotony of mundane everyday life, but are lazy/avoidant of their own domestic needs.Edit: Noticed I missed the other health levels for sx so I added them.An Overview of Soc
The Social Instinct, above all, is the desire to belong to a greater whole. This often manifests as a desire for fame, recognition, attention, connections and the valdiation/esteem gained from them, or to make an impact on the world.
Soc fears rejection and shunning, varying its approach and actions to blend in with the group, whether it be climbing the social ladder or helping others and doing good. Soc feels a strong sense of loyalty to the group or community it's in, especially if it feels appreciated and loved.
Soc connects with others through mutual bonding activities, and getting to know one another at a chosen pace. It seeks stable connections with others, whether for the sake of connecting with others or for their own sake. The interpersonal dance between people from all walks of life.
A common metaphor for Soc is fresh air; it is expansive, and travels far and wide, searching for others of its kind. It also brings forth sunlight; it shines on the Earth, bringing a gleam to all it touches.
Health Levels
(impacts Soc dominants the most)
Healthy Soc
Actively Contributing to Society
When healthy, Soc is selfless, though not self-destructive, and the Soc user is regularly seen doing social work, like participating in community movements or doing missionary work overseas. The Soc user is good-natured and affectionate, with an array of friends and acquaintances, traversing the social realm with grace and ease.
Average Soc
Friendly and Networking
The Soc Instinct becomes less confident in itself in the social realm, and may start to develop social anxiety, worrying what others think of them. At the same time, it becomes generous and amicable, but only if it serves to improve their status and reputation. If the Soc user is without a group or network to support them, they become listless and wandering, searching for something to be a part of.
Unhealthy Soc
Antisocial Attitudes
The Soc Instinct is lost, shunned and/or rejected by others, and starts to develop antisocial tendencies, withdrawing and resenting others or society at large for putting them in such a situation. This attitude further drives others away, burning the bridges between them and human contact altogether.
Soc in so/sx
So/sx has the ability to see everyone simultaneously in relation to a greater whole, but also as individuals. Without any Sp to inhibit its Soc agenda, it can be as free as it wants to be when navigating the social realm. Like a bird in the sky, the so/sx seeks out flocks of people to be a part of, and picks out one or a few people to be best friends with. The cycle repeats, and the so/sx slowly but surely gains a circle of quality friendships.
Soc in so/sp
The so/sp seems to be driven by pure Soc, but unlike so/sx, it comes off as more awkward and bumbling when trying to interact with people. They're often self-conscious, and do anything they feel that might get them accepted in the group, even if it's questionable. They can socialize fine, but it is often on their own terms, e.g. if they feel as if their line has been crossed or are being taken for granted, they will back off or outright halt social activity with the person.
Soc in sp/so
The sp/so will use their Soc connection to a greater whole to provide a stable resource to support their Sp lifestyle. Though preferring to mind their own business, they will readily take on social responsibilities or situations if it doesn't intrude on their inner boundaries. Although Soc-second, this stacking tends to handle people better than so/sp, since their sp needs are established clearly, while so/sp is usually oblivious that they have sp inhibitions at all.
Soc in sx/so
Soc in sx/so seems to be lacking, and there is usually a certain elitism about them; either you're in their (often rigid) circle or not, no in-between. It filters interpersonal energy from the outside; instead of broadening their scope with Soc, they close off, and disengage into a world of Sx on their own.
Soc-blinds have difficulty seeing the need to make new connections (not necessarily the same as friendships) and network. Seen as aloof and stand-offish, they often come with a lack of engagement with people, or an attitude in doing so. They are generally unafraid of going "against the grain" and of social rejection, ignoring social conventions, usually leading to a rocky relationship with authorities. They have no need to be a part of a society or community, presenting an outsider-looking-in perspective.
Last edited by Aylen; 01-17-2019 at 12:31 PM. Reason: formatting
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I could relate to bits of the sx overview. I could relate more to the healthy and average descriptions
This. This! This is me. "in a relatively safe way" and "only truly caring about those I'm close to" and doing the social to spot potential targets for real interaction, and once I have a close relationship I would prefer to build on it rather than reach out to more people (which may be why God takes them away).Sx in sx/sp
The sx/sp will only *truly* care about those they are close to, and try to push for more and more intimate relationships between people they already know. The energy from this type is given a laser-focused control by the sp, and seeks stimulation, but in a relatively safe way. This stacking is more willing to be friendly or "fake" soc, in order to attract potential friends or intimates. They build upon the (often few) close relationships they already have; many sx/sps have fantasies of whisking away their loved ones to a secluded place where they can do whatever they want, undisturbed by the world.
Nope.Sx in sx/so
The sx/so will often seem like they are driven by pure, uninhibited sx, luring people in and trapping them, much like a Venus Flytrap. This stacking is more prone to dependency, bringing awkward intensity into a group, and dragging "fixations" into it. It waits to see whatever looks nice to grab onto, and will fixate until either the target or the sx/so is drained. Sx/so might look desperate to others. Their energy is akin to battering-rams, charging into relationships and breaking walls until they fall, only to get back up again and continue bashing.
Oh, this could fit me too. That's a good description of how I do what I mentioned above.Sx in so/sx
The so/sx will have a similar charm and magnetism to the sx/so, but is generally softer and friendlier, ready to take things more steadily instead of rushing headfirst into things. The so/sx will enter a group, and scatter interpersonal energy (Sx) to a more focused area, and form close bonds with their people of choice. However, it would take a while for them to put their sx relations as a priority, and even longer for them to admit it (more commonly in Fe users).
Nope.Sx in sp/sx
Sx in sp/sx seems to be weak and almost non-existent at first, since they themselves always come first. They will never put somebody else before their own needs, even if they're their closest friend. Instead of building a castle with their close ones inside like the sx/sp, they build walls around themselves first, secretly hoping for someone to come in. However, this often puts people off becoming closer to them, leaving them alone.
Sort of, but sx/sp and so/sx are the clear winners here.Sx-Blindness
Sx-blinds have a far gentler approach to interpersonal relationships, and are sometimes unsure and cautious in approaching someone they are attracted to. When in a close relationship, they may have trouble or insecurity in showing enough intimacy, and tend to compensate for this through acts of service(so) or advice and stability (sp) for their loved ones and/or partners. Sx blinds also have the tendency to "compartmentalize" their relationships, separating them and putting them into "boxes" (e.g. work acquaintances, online friends, real life friends, etc. are separated).
I didn't relate to most of the sp stuff, but I can kinda relate to this.Sp in sx/sp
Sp in sx/sp acts as both a restraint and a safety net for the stacking. As Sx seeks out intense experiences and people, Sp serves to keep it in check, making sure the sx/sp doesn't exert themself, and if they do, they are aware of the consequences. If the sx/sp goes understimulated or crashes and burns, Sp is there to make sure that they can support themselves by themselves, at least until they can recover.
This isn't me.Sp-blinds have a lighter, more flighty approach to life. Other-directed instead of self-directed, they tend to be more dependent on others, whether they would like to admit it or not. Though they can be private people, they tend to be more reckless and heedless of consequences than other types. Lacking roots to plant into the ground, they can break up the monotony of mundane everyday life, but are lazy/avoidant of their own domestic needs.
I relate to the soc overview (with the desire for connections). I've felt that community loyalty and tend to stick around in communities after most regulars have left, naively clinging to what is gone.An Overview of Soc
The Social Instinct, above all, is the desire to belong to a greater whole. This often manifests as a desire for fame, recognition, attention, connections and the validation/esteem gained from them, or to make an impact on the world.
Soc fears rejection and shunning, varying its approach and actions to blend in with the group, whether it be climbing the social ladder or helping others and doing good. Soc feels a strong sense of loyalty to the group or community it's in, especially if it feels appreciated and loved.
Soc connects with others through mutual bonding activities, and getting to know one another at a chosen pace. It seeks stable connections with others, whether for the sake of connecting with others or for their own sake. The interpersonal dance between people from all walks of life.
A common metaphor for Soc is fresh air; it is expansive, and travels far and wide, searching for others of its kind. It also brings forth sunlight; it shines on the Earth, bringing a gleam to all it touches.
Health Levels
(impacts Soc dominants the most)
Healthy Soc
Actively Contributing to Society
When healthy, Soc is selfless, though not self-destructive, and the Soc user is regularly seen doing social work, like participating in community movements or doing missionary work overseas. The Soc user is good-natured and affectionate, with an array of friends and acquaintances, traversing the social realm with grace and ease.
Average Soc
Friendly and Networking
The Soc Instinct becomes less confident in itself in the social realm, and may start to develop social anxiety, worrying what others think of them. At the same time, it becomes generous and amicable, but only if it serves to improve their status and reputation. If the Soc user is without a group or network to support them, they become listless and wandering, searching for something to be a part of.
Unhealthy Soc
Antisocial Attitudes
The Soc Instinct is lost, shunned and/or rejected by others, and starts to develop antisocial tendencies, withdrawing and resenting others or society at large for putting them in such a situation. This attitude further drives others away, burning the bridges between them and human contact altogether.
I could sort of relate to the healthy soc, but not to average or unhealthy.
I like having a diverse network of friends. But each connection is on a 1-1 basis.
I relate to this to an extent in that I've done that. But I don't enjoy it. Repeating the cycle is in defeat and out of necessity.Soc in so/sx
So/sx has the ability to see everyone simultaneously in relation to a greater whole, but also as individuals. Without any Sp to inhibit its Soc agenda, it can be as free as it wants to be when navigating the social realm. Like a bird in the sky, the so/sx seeks out flocks of people to be a part of, and picks out one or a few people to be best friends with. The cycle repeats, and the so/sx slowly but surely gains a circle of quality friendships.
It's complicated.Soc-blinds have difficulty seeing the need to make new connections (not necessarily the same as friendships) and network. Seen as aloof and stand-offish, they often come with a lack of engagement with people, or an attitude in doing so. They are generally unafraid of going "against the grain" and of social rejection, ignoring social conventions, usually leading to a rocky relationship with authorities. They have no need to be a part of a society or community, presenting an outsider-looking-in perspective.
I see a need to make new connections. Partially because I may feel short on connections, partly because of the possibility of really connecting with someone. And it's rare, but if I don't make the first connection I'll never get that, so it's a worthwhile gamble. And often people will choose to connect with me, and I don't turn people away.
I don' think I'm seen as aloof or stand-offish.
I do ignore social conventions, but usually in a passive way that doesn't cause rocky relationships (only disapproval or amusement).
I do want to be part of a community...a community of outsiders-looking-in.
Thank you, Aylen. That was an excellent post.
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