The happy me:
Involved in an intimate long-term faithful loving relationship, the more sensual the better.
Loving college courses in philosophy, physics, calculus and higher mathematics as long as they are not proofs classes. (When I took differential equations, I could write 33 lines worth of calculations into 5 lines of condensed data because at the time I could solve so rapidly. Writing it all out bogged me down. Gosh I miss that class. I still can't make heads or tails of my notes because I have forgotten so much and was so concise then).
Inventing my own aesthetic and marketing projects to make jewelry from a wide array of exotic stones and sell it. Motivated by the healing stones lore to create my own theories and blends and do experiments to see how combos affect people.
Happy me was dancing up a storm - like for mostly hours at a club to great tunes, being so toned and slim, and very creative in choreography and receiving compliments from strangers. No alcohol necessary.
Happy me was having many enneagram 3ish friends who were very interesting high achieving responsible people, usually from many countries around the world, and hanging out with all of them throughout each year at least some on a regularly basis and most meetings being one on one usually in a restaurant or cafe.
Happy me was unusually slim and toned, not a slave to cravings ever.
Happy me created art work in my alone time during deeply exploratory introverted sessions as I pondered ideas or emotions I was having about particular relational situations.
Happy me had a peaceful energetic relationship in my spirituality and relationship with God, feeling accepted by the Divine and eager to explore spiritual ideologies including theologies of various religions in my alone time.
Happy me strived for competency in intellectual jobs and would assist others with their work to as I strove to be the best I could in anything I undertook.
Happy me had my own place to live in which I kept clean with minimal activity disruptions so I only had to mostly clean only once a month to keep tip top immaculate shape, everything in my closet well organized by type of clothing size arranged per the color spectrum. I kept household planets healthy and had beautiful exotic knick knacks and furniture decor that was not overdone but always intrigued my guests by the beauty and artisanship even if only a few pieces. Happy me was always eager to display some of the most beautiful pieces from my rock collection at home.
Happy me listened to hours of music every day including on the job. Happy me was doing deep research trying to find new good music to ever grow my collection. Happy me made some great music mixes, one T friend of mine saying he thought I had a real talent for it and especially song transitions. Most of those mixes were trip hop, idm and techno maybe some were vintage new wave thrown in like Cocteau Twins Seekers Who Are Lovers or Cars by Gary Numan. Some real creative-roots oriented exploratory music.
Oh, and happy me was always kind and respectful to everyone no matter what, or sought distance if necessary.
Sad me is overweight now in middle age because of stress leading to hormonal imbalance. Sad me is unhappy with her social life and had let some old friendships go. Sad me is stuck on old musical favs and has a hard time finding motivation to find the new experimental stuff. Sad me has been forced to lose trust and easy positive relations with immediate family members. Sad me lives with a family member who keeps the house a disaster zone and likes to monopolize my social time. Sad me wishes she could quit working and stay mostly in bed with cozy blankets. Depressed a little? A bit. I won't get into the rest of sad me.
Reply With Quote