question to INFJ (betteringyourselfguy and growupguy forbidden)

[noaydi]

Things got terrible. Finally I quitted everything and gave my discord to someone other and I'm back like alone (my real group of friend consist of only other quadra ppl, not wanting do expand on that. We are having good time anyway.).

This is the situation :

There is the girl A that I was thinking was my confident. I was sharing my neurosis, observation about ppl. The guy B wanted the girl A. I wanted the girl A at first but abandonned quickly bc understood we couldn't get that much togegther. With the guy B we spoke often about the girl A bc she's borderline so I said stuff that can reassure guy B in her comportment. I shared observation about various ppl and various life stuff to the girl A bc I trusted her as a confident (as she shared detail of her life -some wich could be really hard for her- at the beginning, myself done the same in return). There is a guy C that I trashed somewhat yesterday but got back on my feet, problem is solved. But beetween A and B I just tried to be accomodating with limit it can have (sometime the guy B was nervous himself about girl A but obviously girl A understood that I was at fault and I was saying bs about her)

Nothing really new, we got over it for 2 days. But yesterday shit happened at a point I never imagined can appear.

The girl A screened everything she even done a video about my private message then gave it to different guy I even barelly know, sharing my neurosis, concentrating on the fact I was saying stuff about ppl (when it was observation - neurosis - taking fucking time to reconcile A and B and sometime trying to understand B and I thinked she knowed that as I shared with her ton of time the nature of my bad thinking habitute). Now everyone is thinking that ppl speak bad behind their back badly when it's mainly not the case or at least the intention was generally to make things rule ok when ppl moaning about other ppl (B moaning about A and as I said something happen with the guy C but got solved, this was a miscomprehension). Hopeffully I took time to delete all ultra personnal sharing of my life before the conflict.

She was in a fury like always screaming I'm not mad while clearly appearing like the contrary.

I'm feeling bad bc I'm feeling like I'm gossipping, Ive never ressorted to be "final" critical like this, I'm feeling like shit. For the girl A, if I didn't existed, there would haven't been any problem, for myself I'm feeling the same for her. She's mad. Seriously. I never screened anything or done a video about private message with a funny music for getting someone done, who do that srsly. I didn't even know this kind of behavior could exist (doing a video about private message private life private observation, seriously). This is a psychiatric problem, this is not on my ressort anymore.

This NEVER happened in any other group I'm into or with fb friends (neither IRL). I never got that down into childich behavior.

Stuff is that I never felt so bad about myself to this moment, I feel like total trash. There was a moment where the girl was never stopping ranting about my supposed comportment for a reason Ive hard time to understand and I just make her continue to speak for seeing how far it can go and if she's aware of what she's saying, saying yes to everything (I wanted to understand why she go this far too and if she was able to stop for finding a compromise wich is imo normal behavior when you have a dispute) then after that it's just like "you react like that you have no balls blah blah, have balls, everyone have balls, blah". Some ppl are just toxic. Ive some fault but here it's just not possible for me to endure/tolerate/trying to accomodate to stuff like that.

Obviously I asked from the beginning of everything to avoid drama bc I felt like I was dealing with a drama queen from the beginning -I gave her the possibility I'm wrong thru all the relationship as she always denyed that- but there is no need to mention it's not what ppl followed (even myself in this situation). I ended to feel like the drama creator.

next. I need to vent, I feel now that this behavior even for posting this is toxic, feeling like the worst shit in the world, she accused me of everything, eveything is fucked up.


Srsly these internet message board when there is ppl getting too much close together when there is no contact in real life is total bullshit and Ill never go into any of it anymore if it don't concern a domain of interest or real life advice.

Sorry for venting that. This is one of the first time I'm in need of writing/expanding on a problem like that. Mind = blown.

I'm on the next step anyway, I registred a facebook <3 relationship group from my region where there is IRL meet up, and next discord Ill create will be about a theme/real life advice/creativity/work and not this kind of shit where everyone is spying the comportment of everyone.