Help me determine type

[kingslayer]

Sure thing, man. You may have read this already. Written by an SLE-Ti so may not be totally applicable to an SLE-Se but might be worth looking at to see what resonates. For me it was the weak and unflattering things that were hardest to admit to that clued me into Fi PoLR. The "Nuh uh....okay, fine, yeah, that's true" stuff http://wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=SLE_observations

This also helped out getting a few things sorted out once I had a better frame of reference with other types when it comes to 2-dimensional vs 1-dimensional. I had typed myself LSI-Se for a while but I'm definitely more expressive and open than 1D Fe's. http://en.socionicasys.org/bibliotek...9mQW7l4p9NYhv4

What's your decision making progress like, for the most part? Do you determine a goal and then bring about concerted force to accomplish it, or are you more about identifying a goal and then subsequently identifying the means to accomplish it?

Do you feel like you have a harder time getting a fuller understanding of Fe or Ni? Or something else?

Are you easily led along by surface/explicit indications of friendliness?

Hmmm. I definitely relate to a lot of the stuff with Se in that article. I actually relate to this. I don't feel the need to have to breathe fire or get really loud to get my point across. Of course if provoked or necessary I do so, and have done so at times I shouldn't have lol. Otherwise I prefer an approach similar to what the article states at the bottom. I do it in a stern logical way at first to wait and see. I'm not trying to make it a big deal or fight over territory- I'm simply trying to assert myself and my territory in a somewhat acceptable way. I know I can do it in a big way- but that usually provokes the other party into a stupid cock-swinging contest I want no part of lol. I wouldn't sit there and scowl though. I would find a way to say something. Usually my favorite method is a sarcastic clever direct remark about the issue at hand.

"You can be sure that the SLE won't allow anyone to trespass on his "territory" – around SLE you will always have protection. No, he won't go around yelling: "Stop! Don't dare to come in here!" as he wouldn't want to offend you. He will quietly close the door. Or he will sit in silence and scowl, or stand at the doorstep until you realize that you were not expected here. And shrug his shoulders at all the reasons that you give him."

I also relate to a lot of what it says for Ti. Reading more into it I relate to this part of the Ni description. When I get unhealthy or anxious I usually counsel my friends who seem to offer Ni for this exact reason to help me calm my anxiety.

"Feels very grateful to the one who can explain to him/her that everything will be alright, that everything will happen in its due time, and so on"

Like I know this myself, but I just want to hear it sometimes otherwise I remain anxious.

"Sometimes the SLE suddenly flares up over some minor thing and then quickly calms down – though it happens rarely, such flare-ups may be intense. During this time the SLE cannot control him/herself and may act out and tell everyone what he/she thinks of them. Believe me, you won't hear anything flattering about yourself, so it's better to not drive the SLE into this state. During the periods of such "emotional overheating" the SLE may leave, slam the door, turn off the phone, and in general do many strange things - behave himself inadequately, in summary."

I also relate strongly to this under Fe. I can act like a god dam child when I get upset because I have so much rage clouding my judgement. I don't like this about myself as it says. I also might have strong Fe though if that's possible. I definitely enjoy emotionally upbeat environments. I love when everyone is on the same page and all joking with each other myself being one of the main people cracking the jokes. I have worked as a server and customer service many years in my past and I think this has made me savvy with my Fe. I am pretty good at creating certain atmospheres, but I do feel like I need help maintaining them. Things such as positive emotional reactions from the people involved or spectating help me keep it going.

As for your other questions. I don't think I am easily led on.. Though according to others I can be. If someone is being friendly, I can be skeptical - especially if they are overly-friendly. I am not very trusting with people at all. In fact I find it difficult to trust. But when someone is the right kind of friendly with me, they can sneak their way into a period of trust until they show me a reason otherwise. I am overall not trustful of people though. Including my own family members.

I don't quite understand what you're trying to describe the steps as achieving the goal, but I'll try to answer.

I basically have a goal, for whatever reason. I think about the benefits of it and what it takes to get there and tell myself, you know what I can do it. I just need to figure out how. So for example, my working out. I don't have a specific goal as in I want to be 220 lb 6% body fat or whatever. My goal is to just get stronger, better shape, look better and feel better. So my next step to do this is decide what I want to look like loosely. Ok I want to be big and ripped. Not bulky. I want an aproximate build of someone like Dmitry Klokov. I know this takes many years to achieve naturally and I'm willing to work for that. Now I need to research routines.. I did research and was lucky enough to meet someone online who was like a guru of weightlifting and nutrition who I became e-friends with and he taught me everything I know. Much of which was verified through my own research and certification of nutrition later on.

So now that I have this info. I work towards the goal. I use my discipline and will to follow a strict diet. I go to the gym and love going. I love going and being dominant and aggressive in a place where it acceptable. There days when I want to sit on my ass and smoke weed, but I convince myself, just go and do that after. I go and start stretching to wake up and snap out of the funk. Then boom, I go- get pumped and bang out a good work out and go home to do the previously mentioned things anyway- just in a slightly more fatigued state. I have pushed myself through lots of days and work outs when I should have rested. Completely ignoring my body's signs and have burned myself out to the point of over training multiple times in the past. Not only do I love the progress and working to achieve my goal. Something about going to the gym and exerting all that aggression just feels amazing. In those times of over-training, I noticed something was wrong that my progress towards my goal was stalling. Along with depression and anxiety which are signs of over training, but even this wasn't enough to convince me to stop working out, but I would literally exert all my will int he gym then be burned out and out of it the rest of the day. I would only get pleasure from working out and smoking weed in those terrible states I would push myself to at times. It only happened maybe 3 times in my life but each time the state lasted around a month. One lasted almost 4 because of how deluded I was becoming.

So I would research through google my symptoms and come across things like CNS-fatigue, over training etc and realize this is what I was experiencing and read the neccesary information to learn how to fix it and prevent it from happening next time. Now I am well aware and can sense it coming and know exactly how to eat and rest and work out to prevent this from happening and keeping me on track and pace to working towards this ultimate goal which isn't really one. It's just a continuous push to constantly better myself.

Another goal I have is moving to California. I went to Los Angeles and absolutely fell in love with all of So-Cal. (I'm a Russian immigrant living in New Jersey). So I set the goal of moving there. Now I just need to keep working. Make money and keep saving which I have been. Hit my 3 years at my job to receive my tax free 401k match, then get a higher paying job to save more.. eventually I want to have maybe $20,000 in my savings not counting my 401k before I move over, and hopefully with a friend or my girlfriend to pay rent and team with them up to help us better get by.

I have noticed you worry about or reference to “strength “ and you say “weak” several times now. Would you please expand on that? Do you want to be seen as strong? Does it worry when you are not? Build a story about where that comes from

Yes to all of the above. I am strong. I feel strong. I don't want to be seen as strong to feel strong. I want to be seen as strong because I am worried that although I am strong, someone may try to harm me if I am not radiating it. I know it sounds silly but I have went through a lot of abuse in my life that led me to having this perspective. Even though most people really don't bother me. Even when I'm not giving off the "strength". I'm becoming better at not having to present myself this way because I know internally this is how I am regardless. Just that irrational fear sits in the back of my head sometimes. I just naturally attract attention. So when I go out in public and I am just relaxing and having a good time, a lot of boisterous and swaggering men feel the need to challenge me, to which I usually verbally (at times, rarely though,physically) have to put them in their place (the place of what the fuck is wrong with you can't you just leave someone having fun alone?) However when I am coming off with the strength I mentioned before. As in radiating it externally irregardless of feeling it internally, they are too afraid to even try.

[Sisyphean]

I don't quite understand what you're trying to describe the steps as achieving the goal, but I'll try to answer.

Sorry if I phrased it poorly. I was trying to get at whether you Ti reason your way to some sort of goal to accomplish and then apply Se force over time, or do you simply have some sort of Se goal that you then go about applying Ti reasoning and systematizing to move towards. Personally I can't remember a time that I have sat down and systematically reasoning through what any of my goals are, but rather a more impulsive "Oh, this is what I want. What do I need to learn and do to make that happen." I've also seen SLE's characterized more by trying to use intense initial drive and then "momentum" to reach their goals, as opposed to LSIs that are more paced, constant, and methodical in an application of Se force to reach a Ti goal.

The rest of what you write sounds pretty Ti creative but I can't see the inside of your head to know the process. As a personal example it was almost 6 years ago I was majoring in history when I learned that my current line of work even exists. My decision process to go after this work was more or less "That sounds fucking awesome. I'm going to do that. How do I do that? I have to do these other things first? Okay I guess I'm doing that for now."

[Sisyphean]

I also relate to a lot of what it says for Ti. Reading more into it I relate to this part of the Ni description. When I get unhealthy or anxious I usually counsel my friends who seem to offer Ni for this exact reason to help me calm my anxiety.

Do things that explain the meaning of events or the meanings of deeper things tend to satisfy in a deep way? Would you say Ni is one of two functions you have the least grasp of?

"Feels very grateful to the one who can explain to him/her that everything will be alright, that everything will happen in its due time, and so on"

Like I know this myself, but I just want to hear it sometimes otherwise I remain anxious.

lol yeah, there's a thread on here of IEIs and EIEs discussing how SLEs seek and adjust to an external, explicit definition of what a relationship is. Ambiguous answers just tend to make the SLE anxious, frustrated, and start asking for a definition of "what are we" more frequently.

"Sometimes the SLE suddenly flares up over some minor thing and then quickly calms down – though it happens rarely, such flare-ups may be intense. During this time the SLE cannot control him/herself and may act out and tell everyone what he/she thinks of them. Believe me, you won't hear anything flattering about yourself, so it's better to not drive the SLE into this state. During the periods of such "emotional overheating" the SLE may leave, slam the door, turn off the phone, and in general do many strange things - behave himself inadequately, in summary."

I also relate strongly to this under Fe. I can act like a god dam child when I get upset because I have so much rage clouding my judgement. I don't like this about myself as it says. I also might have strong Fe though if that's possible. I definitely enjoy emotionally upbeat environments. I love when everyone is on the same page and all joking with each other myself being one of the main people cracking the jokes. I have worked as a server and customer service many years in my past and I think this has made me savvy with my Fe. I am pretty good at creating certain atmospheres, but I do feel like I need help maintaining them. Things such as positive emotional reactions from the people involved or spectating help me keep it going.

Would you say that getting a huge dose of an Fe environment makes you feel energized like a sugar rush?

The fun thing about the mobilizing function is that because one knows that they have a better understanding of it than their Suggestive function, they tend to try and consciously use it more because they are seeking it in the environment. To an Ego Fe person, though, an SLE trying to produce that upbeat Fe environment looks a little clumsy, sort of like when a kid is first learning swear words. To people that don't value Fe that clumsiness just comes off as annoying and they can respond poorly. The descriptions of Fe for SLE often include the parts where SLEs will try to produce an Fe upbeat environment, but the attempt will fail and be seriously frustrating to the SLE.

Another aspect is that the mobilizing funtion is two-dimensional, so it's "normative," falling into acceptable uses based on the socially defined constraints of a role in a given situation. That's where the part in that write up about

Fe as Mobilizing Function (SLE, ILE)

The individual longs for situations where people are having fun, laughing and joking, and feel emotionally free and spontaneous. However, he is generally unable to produce this atmosphere himself and uses other means to create situations where there is a good chance that others will take the emotional initiative and create a fun and emotionally stimulating atmosphere. Failure at such attempts are met with dismay, which the individual either hides or reacts to with frustration and annoyance.

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For example, the normative E can be seen in identical cliche smiles. Examine carefully your photographs and photographs of other people. Particularly well this can be seen on photographs of children, because children are more spontaneous when express their natural emotions. If you scroll through a family album, you will notice that facial expressions of some people are nearly the same on all pictures, whereas others have a wider emotional range. Normative smiles look standard and correct in all situations. As if normative E-types feel some limit to how much they can stretch their facial muscles, and everything that goes further is risky and ventures beyond the the average. Normative E-types know well situations in which they are required to smile, for example, when meeting people, when saying "goodbye" when showing their disposition to someone during a conversation, etc.

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By the way, on decency: not seldom does the ESTp have serious difficulties with this. And not because he doesn't know how he should behave or that he didn't have good upbringing - here everything is usually satisfactory. (Everything that he needs to know, the ESTp always knows.) But the moment the ESTp relaxes and loosen up a little bit (this most frequently happens around guests) as he starts to "fall out of his role" and feel embarrassed and perplexed by this very circumstance, and, consequently, he also starts to react sharply and sensitively to any observations and remarks. It is sufficient for someone present to react inadequately to his joke or statement for ESTp's emotionalism to pass the boundaries of the permissible. If precisely at this moment the ESTp is reminded of decency and appropriateness, he may completely lose control over his words and actions. Perhaps this is why many ESTps try not to relax too much around guests or to receive guests at their home where they feel themselves more composed and confident.

As for your other questions. I don't think I am easily led on.. Though according to others I can be. If someone is being friendly, I can be skeptical - especially if they are overly-friendly. I am not very trusting with people at all. In fact I find it difficult to trust. But when someone is the right kind of friendly with me, they can sneak their way into a period of trust until they show me a reason otherwise. I am overall not trustful of people though. Including my own family members.

Would you say Fi is the function you have the hardest time saying that you have hardest time saying that you're shit at?

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The SLE carefully "picks out" his/her own people from the "others". For someone to become his or her "own" it takes some time. A single mistake can throw you back to the starting point.


Doesn't always realize that a smile on someone's face and good manners are not necessarily a measure of this person's good disposition and sincerity. Some people smile just "because". SLE hates this type of ambiguity. He doesn't have the resources to track all of the signals of this type. Thus he/she is easily led on by ethical games – SLE's consideration can be won simply by good treatment; he won't immediately recognize a trap. But once he sees it, he won't give the person a second chance. The SLE can be led on and manipulated by good attitude for a long time, but not forever. If he catches you on a lie, sees that behind your smile hides something else besides kindness, then he/she will stop trusting you out of principle, and then smile however much you wish. But to demonstrations of good attitude he will usually react positively, even if it's coming from a person whom he/she doesn't like and doesn't trust.

In general, the SLE doesn't know how to keep distance in communication (distance in ethical sense). Thus, he/she feels worried and anxious about it. If a person tries to intrude on his territory and at the same time behaves in a very friendly way, for the SLE it will be difficult to rebuff them. It feels awkward and somehow uncomfortable to offend a good person … The SLE knows how to distance only in physical sense – to move, change place of work, to not pick up the phone, not open the door, cut off communication, not say anything, not allow someone to enter into his life.

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How much of the above would you say is true if you had to be as kick-in-the-nuts brutally honest as you could? First time I read that the response was basically "oh. okay. yeah. I thought I could read people pretty well but anyone that's treated me nicely with a smile has been able to lead me around by the nose a LOT"