Yeah I dislike certain behaviors too. Prefer to maintain distance from those individuals instead of seeing them as totally bad without redemption. Also prefer to protect myself from those who are cruel.
As for "loving" people I personally don't put so much effort or emphasis on it...it is what it is.
I've recently had a chance to talk to an ESI for long periods of time, and her conversations seem to consist mainly of how people have wronged her and her friends. (-Fi = minimization of negative relationships.)Originally Posted by asd
On the other hand, I've talked to an EII for years and her conversations consist mainly of warm, supportive feelings towards people. (+Fi)
It's an amazing difference.
Of the two, I obviously much prefer the EII, but I've found that the EII can't motivate me into action. So it would seem that I have to choose between a positive companion and getting nothing done, or a negative companion and actually getting stuff done.
This seems like a bad deal to me.
Ijs tend to treat all information with reservation, which usually translates to treating strangers that way until they become a known quantity. Now EIIs tend to not be as street-smart as ESIs who focus more on the ugly underbellies. However, your ESI friend seems to talk somewhat like an SXI so there must be some additional baggage.
a.k.a. I/O
Yes, this ESI is a puzzle. When I first saw about ten of her pictures on Match, I thought she was an SEI. But there were two pictures where she looked EII and one where she looked angry and slightly insane (ESI) and so I thought they all might add up to an ESI with a very disturbed upbringing. Her father looks SLI. Her mother saved money and might be EII.
When I first met her, her Si was through the roof. She was channeling my SLI-Te ex about 80% of the time, but when I talked to her about finance, her face melted into an attractive ESI's face, so I thought there might be hope.
I've since learned that her father is SLI, her brother is SLI, and her sister was mentally disturbed. She's also been married to an LSI with whom she had a competitive relationship, not a partnership. Her first husband was an SEE, and her son is an ILI, and she really dislikes her SLI brother's wife, who VI's as SEI.
Overall, I'm now pretty sure she's ESI, but @Rebelondeck, I agree with you. She seems to have a LOT of baggage. I don't think she's ever met an LIE before, and she's just really, really holding me at a distance.
Let me ask you this: What is it about her speech that makes you think she talks like an SXI? I know a few female SXI's, but my assessment of them is entirely through VI. I mean, my SLI ex's Si was mind-numbing, and this ESI has incredibly strong Si but she never talks at great length about how to chop vegetables, or how she color-coordinates her shoelaces with her eye color. (Just kill me now. Please, God, make it stop.)
Basically, I see visual differences best, but I'd like to know what you were seeing in her speech.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 04-18-2021 at 04:53 PM.
It's just that SXIs tend to have a lot of conversations about how people have wronged them or their friends. ESIs tend to hold their thoughts in or bury them unless revealing them have real purposes.
a.k.a. I/O
OK, thanks.
It's just that not once in my entire life have I ever heard either my SLI father or SLI ex say a single bad thing about anyone. Never. Although my SLI son has sometimes said that he's avoiding someone because he thinks they are trouble.
Maybe they are exceptions to the rule.
I have heard an SEI say that she thought one SEE was not someone she wanted to know better.
What is notable about talking to this ESI is that her complaints seem largely incoherent. They seem more like random shouts without context. It took me months to put together a coherent dialog of what she was complaining about.
Maybe it took me a long time to decipher her Fi speech, or maybe the male ESIs that I've known have simply never complained like this.
I've met many SXIs with conspiracy theories and the disgust or hate is usually evident in the facial expressions; output subtypes can be chatty but yes, many don't say much. I have not met an ESI who was incoherent even at the worst of times but a few had outbursts of anger that seemed to come out of nowhere. I've known two SEIs who were somewhat incoherent when they got emotional.
a.k.a. I/O
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