I think that's a fair criticism of that post. I think I've probably been reading too much psychoanalysis, which has a tendency to pathologize people. That said, it's hard for me to think of a situation in which tough love would be the best option compared to something subtler and more respectful of people's deeper motivations (and anti-motivations). People have reasons for being the way they are and doing the things they do, even if it's seemingly self-destructive. (Some of the things I've done in the past were self-destructive, and people tried to tell me that in a tough love kind of way. I appreciated that they cared and were concerned for me, and that helped me a bit. But, I think, people need to be given time and space to listen to themselves for the resulting behavior changes to be more than just going-through-the-motions of social compliance or shame/guilt.) The "love" part of tough love is important, and is lacking in many people's execution of tough love. A lot of people who preach "tough love" are just trying to coerce people into their own value system. But I can see how tough love, coming from someone who really loves you or cares about your welfare, might register and help mobilize a healthy part of the self. Without that crucial component, hough, it's very easy to turn into self-punishment.