IME, "tough love" only really works for people whose egos have been annihilated and subsumed by their super-ego. (Talking Freud here, not Socionics.) That is, people who have bought heavily into the "tyranny of shoulds", unquestioningly kowtowing to socially-sanctioned imperatives or goalposts, possibly because their own sense of personal agency or values have been ignored/starved of acknowledgment, or brutalized or blackmailed out of them. This explains why a lot of young men with absent or distant father figures tend to latch onto hectoring, prescriptive father figures like Jordan Peterson: the super-ego's role is to discipline one to the demands of the external world in order to meet survival needs. If your father (or society, in loco parentis) is absent or withholding of approval or love, your super-ego will go haywire trying to find the appropriate hoops to jump through in order to fill that deficit of love in your life: it will latch onto what it thinks you need to be in order to gain approval (of your father, of others whom you've projected your father's disapproval onto, etc.). As a result, they become rather submissive to society's definitions of success, with little connection to their own inner values, wants, desires, and they alienate or try to brutalize (or seek out others who will brutalize) their id impulses out of them. Fortunately or unfortunately, the true self will always put up resistance, and so symptoms like anxiety, procrastination, depression, shiftlessness, confusion, etc. show up... which just perpetuates another cycle of super-ego brutalization.

You only assent to criticism you, on some level, agree with. Otherwise, resentment erupts, and your id and ego are riled into asserting themselves. People with a healthy relationship to their super-ego (understanding the role of social mores, but also being grounded in a sense of one's own impulses and needs) don't tend to need someone to berate them into doing something: if they actually want to do it, they do it; if they don't, then being berated is not going to convince them they want to do it.