Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
Has been my impression as well. I used to play a multiplayer game that was based in science fiction and quite competitive, so it was overrun by male ILEs. The group I played with for was large, close to 200 players, so besides the the NT members we did have a few SEIs in that mix. In retrospect, I did get the impression that the ILEs would ignore the few SEIs that we had. Like it was a non-interaction between them. Their conversations didn't go much past some immediate need or small talk. At the same time the ILEs would show a lot more interest in the EIIs and IEIs and even LSEs we had in this group. It seems like many ILEs in their 20s will pursue EII, ILI, IEI, and even SLI and LSE girls and overlook the SEIs. They say that they are looking for an "intelligent" partner to match themselves, and girls of logical and/or intuitive types are most likely to impress them that way.
Geez, this has also been the impression I get. It sucks for SEIs, but...hey thanks for your feedback, anyways.
That's one way to draw a dual's attention to yourself - is to temporarily act like them and mirror their behavior. A lot of people get stuck on the notion that their ideal match is someone who is like them, and while duals are alike in many ways they don't immediately show this as the dual-seeking functions are subconscious. So once you show this, you'll get their attention.
Yeah that's one decent strategy, if it works out where your dual ends up seeing you for your natural personality and valuing you for it, before too long.

But atm, if I have to act more like an ILE than is healthy for me, in order to get my dual's attention, I'm about ready to say "forget it". I know an IEI-SLE couple that formed this way, with the IEI acting all tough and competitive. Basically stroking the SLE's ego with a mirror image of himself all the time. I wonder how draining it must've been for her. The SLE was always ranting about how he loved strong, competitive, logically intelligent, competent women. Like the traditional female gender role was beneath him, and he wanted to see someone who embodied the same qualities he prized in himself instead. It seemed narcissitic, and I actually felt bad for her.

But yeah personally, I don't want to end up in a relationship like that. I've already learned that a big part of me really desires a partner with NT talents--despite the humbling it took to become self-aware in that area. I've also learned to use intuition and thinking to such a degree that I get mistaken for an NT on occasion - I explore new theories and possibilities, and analyze systems that interest me, on my own. I'm not that bad at Ne/Ti. It's good to develop that part of your type, both for connecting better with your dual, and for self-actualization. I'd rather have an ILE who has already gone through the same humbling process, and who has learned to use Si and Fe decently, or at least wants to. I don't want to set the precedence that we're both Ne and Ti, while shoving SF things under the rug