Since the Introverted Dual is so Often Passed Over by the Extraverted Dual~

[Exodus]

It's probably true that this is more of a problem with younger people, we have less experience and have more room to grow and develop, socially.

....But, to explain my point - Honestly, I've had a harder time getting close to ILEs over all other types (even my conflictors - the irony!). tbh I've never had an ILE attracted to me for my natural SEI-ness - the only one who initiated a friendship did it when I was using lots of Ti and being overly analytical (he even said "you seem like a very calculating, logical person"). When I try to talk to them, it's harder to interest them than any other type. They don't seem to consciously value Fe or Si, even though I've really tried to address their concerns and needs with it. It actually has been my experience that ILEs pass over SEIs.

I'm not saying this is what always happens, in fact I really hope this is not what usually happens! I'm just going off of what I've experienced, and this article happens to confirm it.

So yes, genuine advice from people who've had experience in this area, is very much appreciated.

I had an ILE friend who told me he was looking for a mate who would be just as intellectually curious as him. If he was looking for anything resembling Si/Fe he didn't mention it.

This is what people mean by "dualization" - people are sometimes too dumb to realize that they need whatever their dual is offering. They think they want someone just like them.

[Xaiviay]

I had an ILE friend who told me he was looking for a mate who would be just as intellectually curious as him. If he was looking for anything resembling Si/Fe he didn't mention it.

This is what people mean by "dualization" - people are sometimes too dumb to realize that they need whatever their dual is offering. They think they want someone just like them.

People who are intellectually curious have far better relationships with other people who are also intellectually curious than they do with those who are not. So, if that was his criteria, he wasn't dumb at all.

SEIs are prone to being intellectually curious, we're TI HA and Ne suggestive. But we're not as confident in this area. The ILEs I've talked with helped encourage this out of me though. I completely get why ILEs want someone more like themselves; I tend to want someone with SEI qualities, too. Also, I do work on my own intuition and thinking, it's important to me. But I don't want to have to be an ILE carbon copy to be 'enough' for them. It'd be really nice to be appreciated for my Si caregiving and my Fe... I've experienced lots of duality chemistry where the ILE was helping me out with his ego functions, but not so much where he appreciated mine...One of them seemed to reach for my Fe, but no Si-seeking, yet.

It's probably true what thehotelambush said about how lots of people don't get that opposite functional strengths could be good for them. I guess rn, I'm just trying not to be too discouraged by this, and by the trend of my past experiences with this type, the Myers Briggs forums full of ENTPs talking about how they wouldn't date a 'boring, small-minded, overly sensitive SF' (just go read other forums, it's everywhere), and stuff like the article I quoted in the OP.

The article thehotelambush quoted, plus @Tallmo's and @Troll Nr 007's advice pretty much covers what would come most naturally to me to do, anyways, which seems like a good sign. So I am encouraged by this, thank you all

[Exodus]

People who are intellectually curious have far better relationships with other people who are also intellectually curious than they do with those who are not. So, if that was his criteria, he wasn't dumb at all.

It was more than being intellectually curious though - he meant that she should already have the broad kind of knowledge that comes from actually acting on Ne rather than just valuing it (the distinction @Xaiviay makes above). I thought this was clear from the context but anyhow...

Maybe that's just the thing - it's hard to distinguish between someone valuing something and being good at it, it's a counterintuitive idea.

[Exodus]

Curiosity has nothing to do with Ne. Everyone on this forum has some intellectual curiosity or they wouldn't have sought this forum out to explore their interests and learn. It's also not type-related the degree to which people do this.

Some Ne leads have a very shallow knowledge base and are not intellectually curious at all in fact, throwing out ideas but not following any of them. Seeing alternatives, and what is not currently present does not mean you question or explore anything to any depth. Some Ne leads are very intellectually curious, and others are not. Compare for instance SlackerMom with anndelise or Kim - each IEE has in my opinion a different level of curiosity and interest in various subjects and impetus to act on that interest, but each one is Ne lead.

Intellectual curiosity is one facet of "Openness to Experience" and even a cursory look at the research done on this trait in relationships and marital satisfaction will result in a lot of material showing that those who are open are much happier with others who are open, and those who are closed happier with others like them. Especially over the long-term.

"Curiosity has nothing to do with Ne."

I can't agree with this at all. Ne is more than merely "seeing" what is not present, it's the impetus to go out and actually explore it. This doesn't need to be "intellectual" per se - that's merely one manifestation of it, but it is characteristic even if most Ne leads don't manifest it. It's the same as saying that performance art is characteristically Fe even if most Fe leading types aren't performance artists.

And, of course Ni is also involved in the "depth" aspect of intellectualism and people have plenty of different motivations for coming to this forum. But we're getting into the realm of pedantry here, what I've said should be clear.