Illusionary relations ESE and EII

[Beautiful sky]

Inspired by @Elmira

Si Creative vs Si Mobilizing

My sister, being ESE, and using her sense perception periodically replaces her bedding with nice sheets, soft as can be. They maybe slightly floral but they are like marshmallows to the touch. When I buy sheets they are long lasting but stiff as can be no matter how hard I try to get soft sheets. I look for everything she points to "high sheet count" "from Target" I'm starting to think I have a problem lol. I don't buy or replace stuff unless absolutely necessary. She does it just because things have been a while and she needs to upgrade.

She is happiest engaging her senses in food prepared to please the senses like she knows how to prepare the best lentil soup and tastes her food as she cooks it. I follow directions and recipes but never turns out quite like hers. It never quite comes out as pleasant to eat as it does hers. It's not salty enough or not creamy umami enough. If I make something and it tastes just perfect it's because I've failed at it numerous times and out of my perfectionist tendencies I've tried cooking it three hundred dozens of times and you just happen to eat the best version of it. While she can copy cat a recipe that she tries in someone's home like those mushroom and shredded chicken cups and it tastes heavenly the first time. i asked once what she's doing that i'm not and in her Fe way says she makes love to her food and rubbs her tatas. I just walk away perplexed

[Beautiful sky]

Fi Leading vs Fi Ignoring

I am much more calm, reserved, restrained, quiet, but a lot more is probably going on inside of me than my sister. If my value is rubbed the wrong way my passionate voice emerges like politically or child abuse or anything else were I have affirmed firm values. It has always seemed like my sister doesn't express such values in a passionate way as I do. She will console someone she likes and is in the moment with if that person is having a bad day if and when that person is the victim of such hurt as child abuse. But she's not like me, a mission to stop the problem at it's root all around me because that's the type of world IDEAL I want to live in

I have long standing solid friendships since I was born. I mean that. My longest friend has been my friend for 44 years, I can list down the years in friendship with all of my friends with whom I have done a fair amount of contact with and who I would gladly take care of on their last days of life. I have even made friends with my sister's high school friends who came over to do homework with her. She doesn't do relationships maintenance and she hardly keeps in contact with these past friendships. She lives in the moment. She usually hangs out with the newest fun person. But she seems to know people's gossip way more than I do.

I fantasize, dream, think about, more about my relationships with people in my daydreaming where it would seems like she is more in the moment. The very rare dreams she may see of dad or some other family member she is sure to tell me about it. Whereas I may have had so many more and I don't speak about them.

Usually I'm the one to suggest let's meet up with your old friends for dinner. She seems to avoid these types of opportunities for making a plan of interaction and I'm not sure why.

When I observe inter type relations between a parent and a child where I may sense the child is being abused I will likely fee FEEL very bothered and want to reach out to that parent in some way as to correct their relations, but she let's people parent however they want even when I see it as WRONG.

I judge other's character almost aromatically. I'll say things like "she's such a good person of course you should let her take care of that for you." She doesn't. She teases and flirts with people.

I would say we act on bad people from very different angels. While she may "put them to place" I will often shut them out or what INFJ call door slam them and label them as toxic and not worth associating with since they will take my peace. My sister makes it her peace to confront people like this. Maybe I'm just conflict avoidant or I avoid others taking up my emotional and mental energy if I deem the relationship to be not worthy of my love and care.

[Beautiful sky]

Ti Role vs Ti Suggestive

I can easily find holes in discussions like someone saying "she's not ESI" while claiming the ESI doesn't have proof of being ESI because they consider proof to be in a subjective test. They consider their own type proof as objective on a subjective test. See the inconsistencies? I can. My sister doesn't look for that type of information but she will hear me make the bottom like statement on this when I say "They are both taking a subjective test and one is saying his is objective while telling the other "I don't trust you since yours may have been subjective." She doesn't like complicated long explanations to things. She does like it when you break it down neatly.

Yeah I think Ti helps me to take a clear position on something. I don't see my sister putting much thought into Ti like thoughts about things. She does seem to appreciate being in the presence of people who express their thoughts on society or transformation of society in some way when that other person is discussing these thoughts in a monotone way as her husband LSI has at the dinner table. She likes to here people's well thought out observations.

Her Ti Suggestive comes out more when she's livid furious and screams in emotional hysteria at people mainly her husband to try him to be more respectful about his opinions when his opinions on something seem to clash with others and his opinion can not be altered. She looses her temper but then needs to be reminded that this was just a discussion an exchange of thoughts nothing serious. I wish I could have recorded this one three way exchange between me, my brother in laws ideas, and my sister telling him to shut up to defend my thoughts as he seemed more than usual in pursuit of shutting my thought down with force.

[Beautiful sky]

Ni Demonstraive vs Ni Polr

I would say I organize my time to medium efficiency and best use of time at hand. For instance Saturday I woke up early did some writing, cleaned the bathroom, cooked breakfast etc. I do follow a rough schedule having a daughter I seek to do a variety of activities with her to keep her engaged and learning. Monday's we do yoga; Tuesdays we have a dance party; Wednesdays we do ballet; Thursday we have a treasure hunt; Friday we do water color; Saturday we go to the duck pond; Sunday we try to visit a family member. She has no such schedule she lives everyday based on how she feels today, how she woke up feeling or sometimes she'll pop up surprise me with "let's take the kids to the amusement park in June I'm buying the hotel now." This springs to action doesn't leave me time to go over plans with others around me so I'm constantly trying to figure out "how am I going to do this with you let's plan before hand." Here she doesn't see all that has to happen first in order for us to be able to make this plan happen.

When I have to pick up my daughter at 4pm and I also need groceries but work wouldn't let me out till 2:30pm I can picture the whole thing happening in my head. I leave in my car at 2:30 get to the area where the grocery store is at by 2:50; getting in and out of the grocery store will take 18 minutes; get back in my car drive home unload the groceries will take 10minutes; hop in the shower pick up my daughter on time baby!!!. My sister makes plans and flakes I hardly ever make a plan and flake.

I forgot to mention that I think my Ni is more rooted in the present and reality than it is in complete fantasy for instance I didn’t predict based on the events that trump would win and I can’t predict if there will be a war I can only factor in each event as I see it for instance the my sister found a video on Kamala Harris talking about defending Ukraine and deciphered that it looks like we will be going to war at that moment while I still have uncertainty if that one video points to any direction

[Beautiful sky]

Se Polr vs Se demonstration

If I walk into a store and see a rather big built man who can start trouble and is starting to confront the cashier. I walk away. I usually use my Ni to see the sequence of the events headed that way where I can see him lashing out emotionally or aggressively posturing I will walk away. My sister may still stand and wait in line and not be as affected by it and not even imagine a scene like this unfolding in her head.

When we were out and I parked behind a guy the guy jumped out and accused me of hitting his car. I went into reasoning mode. I said "please look at my plates, they have this steel bolt that would have made a big scratch in your car had I hit your car!" and I also go into possibility mode "is it possible that you heard something on the radio when you turned on your car" and I also go into the assessing the type of person by delving in their inner being-"could this person be suffering from a mental illness that would cause him to hear noises?" my sister just says "we didn't hit your car and if you have a problem call the insurance. I'll take pictures." I want to reason I want to understand I want to sympathize and empathize. She wants none of that with a stranger.

I can avoid most confrontations but there are times in aggressive LA driving where some aggressor will try to cut me off and I may want to not let them cut infront of me but I'm reminded of how little I am and how conflict is just not worth it. She can swoop in and out of traffic and if someone gets aggressive she will joke back.

She was dealing with an SEE ex sister in law. who was good at getting others to be subservient and manipulating others for her gain; my sister said I would have ended the relationship the minute she tried that with me. She on the other hand, fraught with her back and forth for some time as this SEE was a part of their tribe however she finally "let her have it" and stood up against her and cut her off.

[Beautiful sky]

Fe Leading vs Fe ignoring

She says "when I die I want to go to poop heaven. Is there such a place? Where everyone's pooping unicorn color poop." Whatever she's going through at the moment she either turns it into drama or joke. I often wonder who thinks of things like this?

With family and parties she will go around kissing and sitting on people's lap, jokings, and petting. I just watch her from a distance calmly observing this expansive energy she works the room with. Everyone loves her because she just makes the environment merry and happy and light hearted.

My extent to Fe is accidental if any at all. My extent to Fe is memorizing a joke or making light of a rather ironic situation.

I don't shed emotions like my sister. She's grumpy in the morning, after she eats she's excited to do something so shopping then after that she wants to show the warmest level of love and affection on the kids, after that the kids will may do somethings that might get her to unleash. I mean she experiences more emotional unloading in a day where as I'm calm or slightly melancholy. I don't have huge swings in emotional expression as she does.

[Beautiful sky]

Te Ds vs Te role

My sister will ask other's about what's going on in their lives and may even determine very logical things they can do but when this happens it can be pretty cold and absent of emotions like if someone's husband is not working to provide for the family she'll say "if your husband could go back to work you would manage better" I mean if they could do that they would but they can't. But that's the nature of Te "you should do this " regardless of how you feel. I display way more understanding of where that person's coming from.

When my car broke down and I told her her solution is "let's get a new car; isn't that thing too old. Don't you want something new, modern?" I would say that logic is nice but I am more financially conservative and economical than her so that Te doesn't work for me. I took it to the dealer at the advice of my LSE and they think it's an engine problem.

She doen't work well when she's under my leadership. She knows I can't force her so she slacks off big time and hardly gets any work done.

When she shops she doesn't look at prices she's not economical by any sense of the word economy. She buys and buys and buys and I save and save and save.

I may add more to this when I think of more examples

[Beautiful sky]

Ne Creative vs Ne mobilizing

I constantly watch videos or read articles on unusual discoveries and developments that interest me. She doesn't! Some examples that I have followed for many decades are advancement for laser fusion energy; home building insulation ideas for climate change; innovations in urban transportation; genetic sciences; developments in medicine technology like nano technology. She doesn't have any of these long standing interests in fields that she likes to see developing but when something interesting and big pops up in these fields that excites me I will share them with her and she doesn't turn me away she appreciates my interests in ideas.

When I have ideas on things she asks about like cleaning something effectively, she'll ask me and I will share it and she always appreciates my knowledge in the myriad of unimportant ideas that I collect.

[Beautiful sky]

This video he’s me. It demonstrates how I deal with conflict

https://youtu.be/1vwqm-nHPHM

[Beautiful sky]

@Elmira
What did you think?

[Elmira]

I thought it was great! It was nicely written. It's so easy for the theory to sounds so separate from reality, but you gave a nice realistic view on how the functions can manifest in day-to-day.

[Beautiful sky]

I thought it was great! It was nicely written. It's so easy for the theory to sounds so separate from reality, but you gave a nice realistic view on how the functions can manifest in day-to-day.