The way you describe it, is all over self-help books. If I were to reduce it to a single term, it would be "low self-esteem". It is not Socionics related, however, Socionics can be part of the solution. Basically you're trying to live your life in accordance with external expectations (or externally defined expectations), and you need to learn to get rid of your focus on these external expectations and shift focus to your own internal expectations. Learn to identify what it really is you want, and act in accordance with that, meanwhile saying "fuck it" to external expectations.
Problem is, it is not all that easy to shift that focus. This lack of self esteem might be caused by something simple such as improper social programming to a more complicated patterns ingrained by serious psychological issues. Only you yourself can tell.
Perhaps this could be a good starting point to get things triggered:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration