Quote Originally Posted by FarDraft View Post
Hi, everyone:

For my entire life, I have been unable to relax. It's strange really, because with respect to my peers I should be the most relaxed since I'm the one who does the most preparation. I understand how to manage time properly, and I have a history of it working in favour of me. Yet, I'm still stressed everyday, not because it feels like there's not enough time but for some other unknown reason. I'm starting to think it could just be temperamentally based.

Here's a general description of what it's like: a general restlessness - need to be doing something, anything, to not feel guilty; vigorous gait; a general feeling of unrest and instability; a competitive regard to other people with respect to the ratios between competence and time spent; a fear that things will end badly despite historical success; a feeling that nothing will get better - that improvement is impossible and that an individual's base nature is stagnant; a feeling that true enlightenment is impossible - everything that is learned is useless and no discussion ever progresses due to the subjective nature of the information anyways; an inability to stop thinking about the future; a lack of resilience without external support; a general meaninglessness of all the actions that one commits - especially harmful given that I feel guilty when not doing something; general paranoia that we aren't doing enough to succeed in the future.

Is this type related somehow? I don't think it's severe enough to be considered a disorder or anything, so I won't go that far, but any ideas and suggestions are appreciated.

---- FarDraft
The way you describe it, is all over self-help books. If I were to reduce it to a single term, it would be "low self-esteem". It is not Socionics related, however, Socionics can be part of the solution. Basically you're trying to live your life in accordance with external expectations (or externally defined expectations), and you need to learn to get rid of your focus on these external expectations and shift focus to your own internal expectations. Learn to identify what it really is you want, and act in accordance with that, meanwhile saying "fuck it" to external expectations.

Problem is, it is not all that easy to shift that focus. This lack of self esteem might be caused by something simple such as improper social programming to a more complicated patterns ingrained by serious psychological issues. Only you yourself can tell.

Perhaps this could be a good starting point to get things triggered:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration