What do ESFjs and ISFps think of "Caregiver" type descriptions?

[Xaiviay]

@mrrrmaid blah.....we caregivers......well I've never had any relationship with a childlike, but I can tell you how I WANT a relationship to go (if only if only) and also give some personal experiences. Edit: It got long, sorry. Read whatever parts you like or none of it at all:

I don't care if he's a big strong manly man. I still see him as vulnerable. He needs comfort and soothing and care. If I try to give him this and he cringes, it hurts my SEI heart (personal experience). If I try to give him this and he relaxes right into it and smiles, I'll feel elated because that's basically him communicating that he appreciates me for my very nature. It's really basic, simple things...just hugging him and feeling him press into me like he wants the softness of my physical self makes me feel so...happy. I saw one description of SEI-ILE that said something to the effect that 'this couple in particular likes to dissolve into each other's embraces'. SOUNDS LIKE MY IDEAL RELATIONSHIP-Sign me up.

When I'm in love, any pleasure or pain he feels is perceived keenly by me, to the point that his enjoyment feels more important than mine (but overall, I still want a guy who treats me with the same deference. I want there to be an equal give-and-take. Anything less will start to deplete my energy. I have my own needs, too). Any challenge he faces should be made easier, and it feels like my responsibility to help with that if I can. I think victims will give the aggressor space to show off, overcome the challenge, while instead I feel the need to protect him from discomfort. I'm not very good at , so I won't interfere with his work efforts most of the time. But I'm confident when giving people positive feelings...making them feel loved, admired, and appreciated...so that is mostly what I try to do to help him out. I'll reassure him that he is loved and admired by me, that I have complete confidence in him, trying to boost his self-esteem. With past boyfriends, I intuitively act like they need this validation. It has caused offense in the past. It's not insulting from my point of view, but I can see how it could seem condescending.

I find myself always trying to give practical advice based on my personal experience of what worked for me. Emotional advice, too...like how to reframe a situation so it's less emotionally painful. And situational advice, like "when this happens to me, I find solution x works best! " I want to make problems end as quickly as possible. If my partner brings up a difficulty he is having, I will start sorting through bits of info to try to think of something helpful and relevant to his immediate situation. Maybe this is typical of caregivers? Also I can care for a close friend or boyfriend when they have underlying emotional vulnerabilities. If someone starts having some painful feelings bubbling to the surface, I will talk them through it with sympathy and understanding, with no condemnation for anything they're feeling, until it passes. I think this is the SEI's Demonstrative at work?

I dunno if I'm much for cooking and cleaning for my partner. I've never tried it. I have never lived with a guy, either. I like this description of caregivers by @wasp from the Erotic Styles are Relative thread (paraphrasing):

caregiver - passive, direct
childlike - active, indirect
aggressor - active, direct
victim - passive, indirect

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it's hard to explain but i think there are degrees to this

Si leads are "comfort being" - they project a caring attitude by remaining calm, so it's a natural byproduct of being themselves but it comes across as "caring" to outsiders, while Si creatives are more "comfort creating" - they strive to remain calm but Se demonstrative gives them an aggressive edge occasionally, and they're "comfort creating" because they're more likely to take the initiative in producing a comfortable environment for their Ne ego counterparts (in contrast with Si leads who are more like the embodiment of comfort)

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now the reason that Si egos are characterized as "direct" but "passive" as opposed to "active" is because they require Si seeking cues from their Ne ego counterparts in order to capitalize on opportunities to offer Si - whether it be in the form of acting as a calm presence, or the stereotypical definition ("would you like a blanket, maybe a bowl of soup?") and sometimes i even see it manifest as a protective attitude in times of personal distress but instead of saying "hey i'll bash your head in if you don't leave him/her alone" it's more like "hey, maybe you should go easy on him/her" while Ni egos tend to offer assistance to their Se ego counterparts in the form of direction (for lack of a better word)

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"The embodiment of comfort" Yes, that is how I want to be, to him. I've been told many times that my presence actually makes people sleepy. I chill people out, really, without even trying. In the past I hated this about myself because most people get bored by me, but apparently I just haven't been around Ne-leads enough or something? Since you're more thinking about maybe ESE, I guess that could have more to do with 'comfort creating' in terms of food, environment, etc.

The ESEs i've known of both genders are pretty eager to create a pleasurable environment for guests. Bringing food, getting you tea, setting up the couches just right for a group session of video games...they eagerly assure you 'no no, don't worry about that, i'll take care of it'. They like to be appreciated and admired for this, but are most grateful when you can help them with logical and intuitive concerns. They get frustrated when computers don't work as expected, and want help with complicated logical systems such as those. This one ESE man was part of a painting class with me. Like a gentleman, he would grab an easle for me, and a table, and a stool, and all proudly-like carry it all outside for me and set it up. Putting my painting supplies on top of the table, and being like "Okay! there you go ^_^" and he really seemed to feel happy knowing that he made something in my life easier. Then he'd do the same for our other friend, and then for himself, last. The idea to paint outside instead of in the class room was his, too, he said "how would you guys feel about painting outside? Seeing the nice landscape, feeling the good weather-the weather is so good today!" *sees our willing expressions* "Yes I think that's a good idea, let's do that "

lol his sounds so exaggerated in text, but I'm only including the obvious examples here.

Edit:

I think victims will give the aggressor space to show off, overcome the challenge, while instead I feel the need to protect him from discomfort.

Just clarifying, I feel the need to protect him from discomfort and embarassment, too. Like I wouldn't let a SLE struggle and fail, and then be like "well....I'll wait till you prove yourself stronger next time, so that you feel like you've really won my admiration later" -which is what Se-egos give me the impression of wanting... Instead, I'll automatically try to reassure him "it's okay, I still think you did great ^_^"