Feeling like every type(or none of them) in the Enneagram at once--

[Ave]

@malignantwench, what makes you know more about enneagram than the rest of us?

[malignantwench]

@malignantwench, what makes you know more about enneagram than the rest of us?

I never claimed to. Are you just salty because I called you out for blindly stereotyping 9s?

[Ave]

I never claimed to. Are you just salty because I called you out for blindly stereotyping 9s?

That's pretty immature, referring to someone else's attitude as salty.

I'm not attacking you because you pointed out a flaw in my argument (I could be wrong just as anyone) but because you seem to posture as someone who knows others better than they know themsleves, when you haven't met me or anyone itt. You make the claim Xaiviay is a six who can't admit she's a six (why wouldn't she want to admit that?) but you've never met her, you're just drawing conclusions on zero data and your intuition. You're just pushing this idea that she's a six, and you are not open to any new data or anything she tells you, you just want to confirm your idea that she's a six. Furthermore, typing is quite personal, so your conviction she is not a nine (you self-type as a nine) seems to be a way of saying "I don't relate to you, you are not my type, we are different". And yes, it concerns me, too, I would guess, since I also made the claim itt of relating to many types.

The post where you quoted me and said I was wrong about 9s didn't bother me, what bothers me is your general attitude. You come off self-righteous and convinced of your own rightness, at least to me.

[Xaiviay]

I'm not attacking you because you pointed out a flaw in my argument (I could be wrong just as anyone) but because you seem to posture as someone who knows others better than they know themsleves, when you haven't met me or anyone itt. You make the claim Xaiviay is a six who can't admit she's a six (why wouldn't she want to admit that?) but you've never met her, you're just drawing conclusions on zero data and your intuition.

I appreciate you sticking up for me, Avebury (if that's what you were intending to do)! It did kind of bug me when she pushed a different type on me, at first. I've thought a lot about being a 6 before (since I have anxiety) so it can get kind of confusing, and it's not fun to be told you don't know yourself as well as others do, which it sounded like she was implying.
@malignantwench I appreciate that you've gotten some discussion going about the differences between 6 and 9, though, since it's helped me to consider these types more carefully.

Well a 6 could do those things to since they integrate to 9s. Were you like the 9 bit during childhood?

Yes. I described the 'negative' feelings I had in childhood a little bit in the OP when talking about type 4-

I've read that this type gets created when a child with an active personality (dominant, expressive, assertive) gets met with a somewhat distant parenting style, which causes the child to feel invalidated and insignificant. This was spot on, for me.

I felt like the things I loved and felt strongly about were not reflected back to me enough, so they didn't matter (poor me , blah blah). Actually, the 9 childhood description you brought up does bring up memories about feeling like love in general didn't matter, but I try not to feel this way.

To be completely honest, I did have a teenage phase where I lost trust in things I had previously relied on. So that could explain why I feel more affinity with 6 than 3, on that triangle in the Enneagram. But overall I recall feeling pretty stable and secure throughout childhood. The feelings of 'I can't trust anything' didn't stick with me as much as the feelings of 'I don't matter, love doesn't matter', even during my teenage phase.

Yes, doesn't a 6 integrate to 9s when they become more healthy? I manifest the unhealthy traits of 9s, though. It's not a healthy thing.

And also, addressing this point you brought up-

9's relate to elements of the other types not all their fears and motives.

I think we all have all 9 fears/motivations, it'd be weird otherwise...Who doesn't want to be correct, loved, admired/accomplished, authentic, knowledgeable, secure/safe, entertained, in control of their own life, and at peace? But true, at least to the degree that the fears are an overwhelming fixation, we're not all 9 types.

[Ave]

I appreciate you sticking up for me, Avebury (if that's what you were intending to do)!

Kind of.

I mean, I don't think you were being attacked, and I think malignantwench's insights are pretty good as she seems to know the enneagram pretty well. Something did bother me about how she expressed herself though, like I said above. She might know the system well but that doesn't mean she knows you. So I felt like pointing that out.

I don't mean to derail or anything just wanted to clarify that.

[Xaiviay]

And also, this isn't put out there to anyone in particular, but I think this is pretty interesting~
When i was a 4-ish teen, I was constantly examining my feelings and trying to base my identity off of them. I also had regular lucid dreams. Nowadays I don't have those dreams very often, but I learned that one way to lucid dream is to get in the habit of asking yourself whether you're asleep or awake (so that when you dream, you do the same thing out of habit, and become conscious that you're dreaming). I've been trying this lately and I've had a few lucid dreams again, so it seems to work.

In the past, I was always aware of whether or not i was sleeping, since I was so self-conscious. That's probably why I was also self-aware in dreams. Now when i ask myself the question, I don't really know whether I'm asleep or awake...I only have a pretty good idea because when I actually am dreaming and I ask that question, I do know! But awake, I feel numbed out, almost like I'm living life in a haze...and it's hard to tell for sure if I'm really awake. It's kind of disconcerting to realize this

If I really am a 9 now, and really was a 4 before, the difference in consciousness is pretty interesting.

[malignantwench]

I'm not attacking you because you pointed out a flaw in my argument (I could be wrong just as anyone) but because you seem to posture as someone who knows others better than they know themsleves,

If she/he knew themselves then they wouldn't have trouble figuring out their type.

You make the claim Xaiviay is a six who can't admit she's a six (why wouldn't she want to admit that?) but you've never met her, you're just drawing conclusions on zero data and your intuition.

She/he probably is a 6 and the concept of being a 6 is often brushed under the carpet.

You're just pushing this idea that she's a six, and you are not open to any new data or anything she tells you, you just want to confirm your idea that she's a six.

Ok, this is BS. I'm not trying to push the idea of her/him being a 6. It's interesting how this is always the assumption when it is to do with type 6 but never when it is another type. For ex: I'm never told that i'm pushing type 2 towards someone because that type is actually respected.

Furthermore, typing is quite personal, so your conviction she is not a nine (you self-type as a nine) seems to be a way of saying "I don't relate to you, you are not my type, we are different". And yes, it concerns me, too, I would guess, since I also made the claim itt of relating to many types.

I don't relate to most 9w1s but I wouldn't say that they aren't 9s though.

The post where you quoted me and said I was wrong about 9s didn't bother me, what bothers me is your general attitude. You come off self-righteous and convinced of your own rightness, at least to me.

I only come off this way to people that don't know what they are talking about.

[Xaiviay]

The post where you quoted me and said I was wrong about 9s didn't bother me, what bothers me is your general attitude. You come off self-righteous and convinced of your own rightness, at least to me.

I only come off this way to people that don't know what they are talking about.

^example of self-righteousness

She/he probably is a 6

then

I'm not trying to push the idea of her/him being a 6.

Hmmm, you identify as a 9, yet choose the username 'malignantwench', easily get defensive, and put down Avebury when he disagrees with you. Then you think you're qualified to judge whether or not other people know themselves~this is kind of ironic.

[malignantwench]

Hmmm, you identify as a 9, yet choose the username 'malignantwench',

Behaviour and motivation isn't linked in the slightest. Stereotyping clearly hasn't got you anywhere.

easily get defensive

I'm being accused of pushing a type on someone.

Then you think you're qualified to judge whether or not other people know themselves~this is kind of ironic.

If you knew yourself then you wouldn't have a problem with figuring out your type.