Quote Originally Posted by wasp View Post
I think this might be a misconception of the delta quadra in general (scratch this line because I ended up going in a completely different direction)



ok I got carried away, but essentially the second long paragraph is how I imagine LSEs help EIIs since they can sort of recognize beforehand if an interpersonal arrangement is causing them significant discomfort, even if it's not directly expressed, and so they pull them away via other distracting activities, and I think their directness helps them in the sense that if they notice other people still making moves toward the EII, then they can more firmly and confidently keep them at bay. it's hard to explain but I've always seen that directness (or rather, a certain comfort in the physical realm) as a trademark of S-N duality, so like you'd be less surprised if an LSE were to say, "oh I think my wife and I are gonna go home early tonight, sorry folks" than if you were to hear an EII say the same thing, partially because it'd have less impact in the EII's case since you may feel like you can convince them otherwise due to their nature, but mostly because it's a little daunting to hear an otherwise gentle person randomly stand their ground, if that makes sense, but if it comes from someone who's known to be more obstinate, then most people tend to stand back. I imagine SLEs can have a similar effect due to their protective, somewhat territorial nature, but the difference may lie in their approach to such matters, and it's not always easy to discern in the beginning if it's the "right" approach since LSE and SLE share a lot of base similarities. I've read that it's usually not until "push comes to shove" that you realize what your dual (or alternatively, your conflictor) is actually made of, and sometimes it may simply take us a while to realize what we truly need.
Yes, exactly. I pictured that scenario very clearly in my head. And the issue is if the gentle person is trying to be convinced out of standing their ground it tends to feel like someone is unintentionally trying to provoke you TO GO OFF ON THEM! And I do not want to do that, so please, when I say no I want to leave just respect my freedom to make that choice. In general any unconscious suggestions to either use Se or surrender to someone's Se always seems like it's trying to provoke inappropriate behavior. When someone says stand up for you self to a bully or someone who is mistreating you, my mind cannot really picuture how to do that healthily, it's either I think nothing or I think of applying some inappropriate amount of force to deal with the problem which usually results in thoughts of physical violence, acts I wouldn't be bold enough to perform of course, so these suggestions are always misinterpreted when people say them, though people may think they are giving sound advice. I think the Se POLR does make for very polarizing uses of Se, no use at all or too much use. I guess this confirms what most say about EIIs, Se Polr, and Polrs in general.