Once I took a trip to visit my ILE ex. One morning I went to explore the city and he said he was "going somewhere." So I saw the places I had in mind, went back, made the bed comfortable, watched TV, slept. He didn't appear until 4pm the next day. He just got... sidetracked with drinking and phone batteries died.
BTW he is 100% sp/sx and still like that.
That experience actually changed me (???) I was like... I'm so serious and I have a rhythm and every weekend it's just like, chores, exercise, reading books. I was aware of consciously restricting my life too in ways. Anyway, after that I thought maybe I could be more open. I felt very viscerally affected, sort of like... once I did a zero gravitation chamber and afterwards walking around for 1.5 days my body felt extremely different bc the muslces sort of just...unfurl. But it didn't last long.