LSE co-worker.

She is a manager of ticketing at the basketball stadium I work at. She trains and manages employees who scan customer tickets to get into the stadium. I work on her floor as a tech support, making sure all digital ticketing issues are dealt with.

These are just a few memories that happened between me an her.

Before I spoke to her I noticed she had told a family trying to get into the building to "Step to the side please!", assertive voice that sounded almost angry, but she did it without anger and that impressed me. She was physically attractive so i wanted to talk to her and choose to just tease her for being mean to those folks, surprisingly this attractive girl I thought would professionally blow me off smiled and said no she's not mean. She seemed immediately open to playfulness after that. I kept up the teasing for like 2 more comments and she denied it smiling each time, like she knew I was joking but also defending that she is a nice person. We both then said the exact same word at the same time and I played the "Jynx you owe me a soda." game. She quickly was able to keep up with my little witty games and seemed to appreciate them. I liked how she could keep up with my wittyness.

The next couple times I worked with her I simply just fell into becoming friends with her and her 2 other co-workers. Now, I'm a guy, all of them were women, I struggle with a common issue of low self esteem with women as alot of EII men do, so here I am around this attractive LSE girl, her I think SLI friend and definetely ILE friend, and they all seemed to have an affinity for my natural personality (not bragging lol). I hadn't really been in situations where my natural personality attracted women in a short amount of time like that, I reasoned in my head "Meh, they probably just like me because I'm not trying to be a tough guy." Needless to say I felt appreciated even in all the little ways they picked on me, like purposefully mispronouning my name lol, I knew it came from a place of fondness.

I had a co-worker that would take my position sometimes at work, and when I got my position back the LSE girl told me that her and her friend had missed me and that they like me better than the other guy. I felt once again very appreciated, especially since I'm E4, that's how you light E4s fire for sure. And I remember when I would leave my position because my manager told me I had to work elsewhere the LSE girl would say "Where you going?!" forcefully too, and playfully tell me I'm not leaving, she also playfully arrogantly said " You are here to entertain me." At this point I knew my company was valued, I started hoping this was a sign that this girl liked me, since I thought she was hot anyway lol. When I left my position she would tell me to come around later and say hi.

After my position was given to a co-worker for good, on my break I decided to visit her. When I visited her the first time she said "Awwww." and I took that very condescendingly, because it felt like she was sort of saying it like "Oh wow, you actually came to say hi, I was just kidding dude." It hurt but I had no evidence for my assumption, it's just what I picked up from her tone. This made me adjust and not show clear signs of interest like that. (Which later worked out well.)

Every time I got a break I would go and visit her and her co-worker, sort of making it seem like I came for my own entertainment and other reasons besides just seeing her. At the basketball game one game they had these bread stick balloons that you smack together and make sounds with. I said I only visited to get the toys, she playfully gasped like she was offended, but she seemed like she thought what I said was legitimately rude even thought she found it funny lol. That made me think that she cared whether or not I came to visit, or why would she think it's rude for me to say I ONLY came for the toys implying I'm not there to see her. She playfully called me mean and got all her employees to gang up on me saying "See guys he said you guys don't matter." lol, they all playfully ganged up on me and I loved it, I wacked her in the head with a breadstick balloon, she grabbed one and sword fought me for a while until she thought it was too much lol. Here is when I realized that her job seems pretty boring and then I bring all this fun with me and maybe that's why she appreciates my company, lol it's like a small party at work. I sword fought her co-workers too, she had to get them back in line, but I got a kick out of disturbing her order, and she never seemed mad about it lol almost like she couldn't resist smiling and laughing. I felt like a guilty pleasure of hers.

I visited on and off, she would complain playfully about me not visiting and her not seeing me anymore. All these mentions of missing me and not seeing me, they always felt very....platonic, they never felt like some deep emotional reveal of feelings or like an attempt to get closer, it just sounded like she was being friendly. That screwed with me, this girl saying she misses me, likes me better than the other guy, complains about not seeing me, yet I don't feel anything from these flattering statements.

One time I visited her, she was complaining about walking up a huge flight of stairs, I mocked her complaining by playfully impersonating her, and her reaction was sooooo lovely, there was a moment where she caught me mocking her, huge smile grew on her face, she said "Stoooop." and silently walked over to me and just lightly pushed me with a huge smile on her face, it was like a silent Fi moment, I felt it, she walked all the way up to me silently smiling and just pushed me with her body real close to me. This silent playful understanding between us was there. It felt like me mocking her playfully was a guilty pleasure, I loved it, she loved it, it was a silent love of that moment of teasing. The strange thing was, when she complained about the flight of stairs, I had a moment where I naturally wanted to mock her because the faces she was making while complaining was just funny and fun to imitate, but I also feared it might offend her, when I went with my natural gut feeling, I got rewarded with that wonderful reaction. My natural ways felt validated. The thing I WANTED to do but was afraid to do worked so well for her.

Every time I visited her after that I would find ways to mock her, one time she said goodbye to leaving customers while chewing on something, I mocked her muffled goodbye, she loved it, she went on vacation to Jamaica, I mocked for smuggling weed into the country, she loved it lol, I loved poking her with jokes and mocks and getting a playful reaction out of it, and it was always spur of the moment and never constant to the point of boredom. While I was standing in my position at work on my phone when things were slow, she would walk by me and try to press the buttons on my phone to mess up my text message, she would mispronounce my name on purpose lol and make it rhyme with another word that sounded like the misprounciation lol. She was playful and fun to be around, but it seemed like a guilty pleasure for her to give into my playfulness. When she interacted with customers. She would calmly deal with them with a neutral voice always probing for what the problem was and trying to get someone on it. She would bounce from issue to issue with her walkie talkie handling things that I wasn't even aware was going on lol. In the rush of things sometime she would get real close to me and in a soft and flirtatious voice ask me to do something for her that related to work loooool like she was trying to use female seduction to get me to do a task for her lol. Sometimes when a customer wouldn't have their ticket because of purchasing issues but they would tell her they traveled from far to see the game (alot of people were foreigners) she would give them a pass in a sort of benevolent fashion like (Ok I see your issue and I grant you access.) she never said those words but she often seemed like some sort of queen giving the person mercy loooool. She was empathetic in ways different from me, I remember one time she gave a family a pass who had a child who was just old enough to not get in for free, I thought she let them pass because she felt bad for the child, she later told me she felt bad for the people because ticket prices are so high these days she can understand why they were trying to get him in for free. I was like, wow, a very mature sort of way to look at that, I would have never thought of that. I was impressed by that.

One time at work she saw people having an issue with a digital ticket, which is my job to handle, I usually run to the rescue when a co-worker says "Hey they need you over there". She looked at me and say "Hey! They are having problems what are you doing!" And I was shocked at her forceful response to me, I took care of the problem, when I was done she told me "You have to be on top of that!" and I received that response slightly harshly but knew she was right, I was silent and looked at the ground when she said that, I don't think she's ever seen me like that, I just felt like her expectation for me to respond before I'm called felt unfair since I was never asked to do that before, I was always asked to respond on call re-actively instead of ahead of time proactively. So it just felt unfair for her to expect me to change so quickly, but I also felt like "Damn, maybe I should be more responsible."

After having so much fun with this girl and these silent moments of smiles and teasing, that plus her being physically attractive, I started feeling like there was chemistry there, not the strong emotional bonds I'm used to having when I think of chemistry, but a healthy dynamic that we both enjoyed and could be ourselves, which is not common for me with women. This situation with this girl stood out to me because I have never been in a situation where I was with a girl that I thought was physically attractive to the point where I thought she was out of my league and able to fully be myself with much ease. With out trying to impress or project what I thought she wanted she seemed to enjoy my company, and I secretly started to think she liked me, this whole thing was exciting to me, especially since my luck with women let alone attractive women isn't all that great. I wanted to know if she was taken to see if I could ask her out to eat somewhere, so I joked about her trip to Jamaica being a romantic one, she confirmed that it was and her and her boyfriend had a good time. This sucked to here, but unlike previous crushes, this news did not crush me, and it was very surprising to me that it didn't, I clearly liked the girl, I thought we had chemistry that I haven't experienced before, but it doesn't hurt as much. I reasoned that it's because my emotional attachment to her wasn't as strong as my other crushes. It was a healthy amount of chemistry between us and not an obsessively emotionally involved one. I liked her, but I hadn't gone to the point of pining over her because she for the most part kept her tone of voice platonic with the exception of the guilty pleasure teasing moments. I was more disappointed that we couldn't date instead of deeply saddened and emotional hurt by it. I thought this was a good thing and felt like I could move on quickly.

After all that I was pretty determined to go and find another LSE girl hoping the dynamic would be the same.