Delta and Passive-Aggressive Behaviour?

[SongOfSapphire]

I used to be (or at least strive to be) pretty direct when I had a problem with someone. But over time... either bc I suck at being direct (perhaps I was too direct?) or bc the world just doesn't work that way, I have learned to be less direct. Now, unless there is some real reason to be direct (like tonight when I went to Lowe's to speak with a manager about their botched handling of a project I wanted them to do) I just don't bother to bring things up with most people and I will avoid them if possible instead. With people I value -- my family or close friends -- I will bring things up to fix them and restore or maintain our good relationship, but with people I don't have or want to deal with, I no longer bother. I thought that was a part of getting older, but maybe it's down to socionics, too.

Another example: someone emailed to ask if I would give them a 5-star review for their work. As a matter of fact, I was angry with the person for the way he had handled some things and would have been more likely to give a 3-star review... but I just ignored his emails and phone calls, rather than explain my feelings or give what I felt was an unearned rave review. I'm sure he wonders wtf happened, and I guess that could be seen as passive aggressive, but whatever. EDIT: I guess that's more passive and not so much passive aggressive.

[Spermatozoa]

Another example: someone emailed to ask if I would give them a 5-star review for their work. As a matter of fact, I was angry with the person for the way he had handled some things and would have been more likely to give a 3-star review...

These vendettas can become a big problem. At least you were wise enough to recognize how your feelings could get in the way of a fair judgement. A lot of people are too spiteful to give a shit.

but I just ignored his emails and phone calls, rather than explain my feelings or give what I felt was an unearned rave review. I'm sure he wonders wtf happened, and I guess that could be seen as passive aggressive, but whatever. EDIT: I guess that's more passive and not so much passive aggressive.

You could have just forwarded his work onto somebody else for review? People have conflicts of interest all the time, it's not a big deal.

[Pookie]

But yeah, deltas have more passive aggressiveness on average, ime.

[Spermatozoa]

But yeah, deltas have more passive aggressiveness on average, ime.

Yes. I really feel that so long as everyone is direct, calm and willing to stay focused, it's usually possible to iron out any differences and resolve conflict. After all, we are on the same side (supposedly). However, if you are in a group which mostly consists of Deltas, resentment can fester over time because they won't often tell you how they feel, then one day BOOM! It all comes out in a particularly unpleasant way...they'll tell you what a disgusting, reprehensible person you are etc etc. I will never tolerate being slandered. A lot of the EIIs in particular seem to be loose cannons who trash you when put under pressure, and it can be very annoying.