Random people of certain types you met recently or earlier

[The Reality Denialist]

Ends up helping technically illiterate ESI through relatives. Some renovations screwed the internet connection.

Me: ah ok...
ESI: What are you doing?
Me: I go home to grab my old wireless router. You can keep it.
ESI: But the guy never told me about this.
Me: I am not sure but I think I have a solution. Never seen this before.
Comes back with router and wires.
ESI: But the guy told me that I only need a wire with few cms of length and said nothing about that router.
Me: This will do.
ESI: I don't want wires.
Me: Let's hide it in the box where they go.
Me: Lets plug in wires, configure the router and hope for the best.
Me: It works.
ESI: But how?
Me: Just good guessing.. I had to improvise the whole thing. I had no papers or documents.
ESI: Are you sure about this? I need to call someone.
Me: It is OK... I think.
ESI: ??????!!!!!!!??
Me: **shakes my own head while observes anxiety**

The hell that actual technical assistant have to through...

[Adam Strange]

I assume you're talking physically? Considering my last post was about a really old INFJ, I am curious. What age is "age well"? Like, when do they go downhill? 30? 40? 50+?

I think that “aging well” is a result of good genes, and isn’t so much related to type.

Furthermore, everyone’s idea of when the expiration date occurs is different. I have seen women in their 60’s that I would hit, and women in their twenties whom I would not.

However, on average and based on my perusal of dating sites, I’d say about half the female population hits the tipping point around 40. At this age, about half the population is still looking good by virtue of choosing the right parents, staying in shape, and thinking only pure thoughts. The other half is starting to show some wear and tear.

I can’t say anything comparable regarding the tipping point of men, since I tend to judge them on the basis of their circumspection and our common interests rather than on their potential for romance.

[MrsTortilla]

my new boss is E(L?)SE and i feel weird and restricted around her because shes so professional and good at small talking and a functioning person and her mind seems to go so fast in conversation bleh i prefer male bosses at least then i can charm them somewhat with my femininity lol

Oh yes, male bosses are far better to have than female ones, no facetiousness intended.

[Sol]

I think that “aging well” is a result of good genes

and of the life. some hard work, bad environment with toxins, diseases (only partly relates to genes), the lack of healthy meal, of needed physical and mind load, bad emotional environment - result in worse body and mind states

For example. What ages the look the most is the skin. Farmers may look older than office workers only because they spend more time at sun. Though an office worker without regular physical load and on trash meal may to have worse state of the rest. Additional weight makes people to look a little older. The bad emotional state and tiredness makes the impression worse too, - so thoughts about the age have different weight in such cases.

> I have seen women in their 60’s that I would hit, and women in their twenties whom I would not.

Not the general case, but some women keep excellent bodies longer. Though the age is seen on the face more clear. On the hands' skin.
Taking the hormones improves the look, but rises the risks of some cancers. Mb also good emotional state, the good loving relations support the body better as stimulate the hormones naturally. They also need physical load to support good metabolism and hence reduce the aging effects.

> However, on average and based on my perusal of dating sites, I’d say about half the female population hits the tipping point around 40.

Technically until women keep the possibility to become pregnant they _may_ to look good. I suppose external reasons (like the mentioned above) have significant impact on the difference you've noticed. This is the border of principle aging - seems near ~45-50 y.o. for women. The youth in common sense ends ~25 y.o., the middle age ~35 y.o. or until they may born. From relations side a woman is attractive _at least_ until she keeps the passion, has orgasms - have no idea are there strict biological limits for this or not, - mb not as the psyche may to have strong influence on this.
Also good make up may affect the look strongly. Regular cosmetics procedures mb also.

> I can’t say anything comparable regarding the tipping point of men, since I tend to judge them on the basis of their circumspection and our common interests rather than on their potential for romance.

Like with women, men are attractive until they are attracted. In general 50-55 y.o. mb, what corresponds with the abbility to attract women of late fertile age of 40-45 y.o. For women younger than 10 years - you look as old, though they may get the interest to you anyway. Like men mb interested in older women. Also the role of sexual interest reduces in romances with the age, at least of initial sexual interest as it may rise later with stronger feelings.

Anyway, it's better to make the pairs <40 y.o. To make stable pair with a woman of near age is easier. While later the sexual interest of women reduces with the fertility possibility. It's not common to make pairs or stable relations in higher ages. Possibly, but principally harder. Those who pass this border should to seek for deep friendship most of all, - good IR help in this. In case they want long and good relations, but not short entertainments.

[Sol]

I saw today that possible EII cutie near my home again. If it's she indeed, then her age mb up to 30 y.o.
When I was coming to the home building I've heard the repeating squeak sounds. Then from behind the conner she have appeared on the source of the those terrible sounds - a bicycle. I've passed her and after several seconds I've heard those sounds closing me again - she've passed me ahead and have stopped near her entrance to talk with someone in her flat - seems to report the result of the bicycle's testing. She's funny.

1 August, ~23:00
She went by same road to the home. Was dressed in funny striped t-shirt, sport clothes. Watched to her smartphone all the road, - seems introvert indeed. I do not exclude T type. Her face reminds me a neighbour which seems lived in the same flat - probably she's relative.

[Adam Strange]

@crAck, if you are talking about mental attractiveness, that’s a different story. IMO, women continue to become more attractive with age and experience, right up to the point where the gears begin to slip in old age.

[Sol]

ESI girl ~25 y.o. with nice athletic figure on a bicycle. In white t-shirt and shorts. It was 22:45, she drove by pavements what is common here. We met during the waiting of green traffic light.

[Tallmo]

LSE-Normalizing painter. Supervises and coordinates the work. About 60 yo. Calm and professional and mature. Seems to have good coping in polr area. Not so excited about the work anymore maybe because of his age. He thinks Im a good worker.

[velveteen]

Me: I have this problem with my hard drive
INTp: You ruined everything, the hard drive is long gone. Here is a new device all set up and ready to go. Top of the line.
Me: Thanks
INTp: No problem
Me: Here’s some money for the new hard drive
INTp: *looks confused* Sick...

[maniac]

i think i used to date a SEE. cant remember much except it was turbulent because it was such a long time ago. actualy he was the one who got me into typology. he thought he was intp.

[Tallmo]

I just watched the news. They interviewed a professor about the current trends in work and employment. The professor seemed C-ILI.

[Guillaine]

SLI mum at the park with her two daughters. Playing that game where you throw a ball in the air clap then catch it and see how many times you can clap. SLI mum made it to 10.

[Guillaine]

I met up with a SLI-Si yesterday. Before meeting in person I was worried we would not get along because he was throwing names of artists at me and knew some obscure spanish musicians I liked so I was thinking he might be 5w4 C type. After meeting, all good we got along, he was H type but 7w6. 7's can come across as C types, but it must be a separate thing. He work the past 20 years as a tour chef for musicians travelling around the world setting up kitchens in warehouses etc and feeding bands and crew. But 7 and 4 don't gel like 6 and 4 whose presence is more comforting, in my experience.


edit: ERRR I just realised my typing error- this person is my mirror! EII-Ne H 7w6 sx/sp

[Sol]

LIE man ~20-25 yo as a seller in electronics shop. Thin constitution and "no taste" clothes, intelligent look and the impression of the guy who does what he says. I suspect N types mostly eat lesser than S types to look thiner.

Possible ESI woman ~30 yo. She went by a street like a queen, with excellent athletic figure. She had simple dress and common face, but you felt "it's the woman", there is the fire in her which attracts the attention and inspires your interest. She watched in her smartphone all the road (those introverts) and like saw nothing near her. After some meters I've turned around to look again on her a couple of times. It's the case when you may like a woman which like has nothing special, but you feel the interest to her from the beginning.

Possible EII young girl ~20 yo. Pretty face, thin, black clothes with slacks. Set at bus stop, smoked and looked sad. If I'd was younger mb I'd talk with her. Also I do not like smoking people and especially smoking girls. Mb she has problems with some boy what made her sad.

[Guillaine]

Online dating:
I realised a guy was LIE after 2nd sentence but agreed to coffee anyway. Thought I'd learn about them at least. We arranged to meet. Then he asked me a sexually explicit question out of the blue. Immediately I was turned off by the timing- straight after we arranged and not before if it was that crucial to know, also not very caregiver of him, merry/serious clash?, also I couldn't care less about the contents of the question but I cannot plan my sexual life or being pinned down do something makes me feel horrible so I gave him a little Se and cancelled the meeting. Lol. He says offer is still open and he just need to tick that box off the list but clearly values are clashing.

[Bertrand]

from his point of view its a highly efficient way to separate real potential from dead ends, so good for him, since he just saved himself a ton of time. this is why a lot of norms revolving around the personal comfort of people are actually highly psychologically value laden and protect only certain segements of society and ways of thinking. in another society he is a hero, a model of efficiency.. in another he is an outlaw and you are a potential victim who needs to be protected. its a good demonstration of how society adopts quadral values over time and subjects everyone in them to them, and its the efficacy of the values themselves that determine the success of the society in relation to other societies. when the USA loses its competitive edge because it is softened in such a way you will see its global standing decline in deference to those who do. whether this matters at all is individual and so democracy naturally produces these transformations in a somewhat organized way. whether it constitutes progress or decay is a point of view. some people do better in a "decayed" society, etc

[para]

As Socionics produces sets of values, these ways of thinking will be categorised. So yes, with this system in mind it is the waxing of different quadral values in turn, with some having a closer proximity to the current categorization, having in mind external circumstance which might have a 'negating' effect so to speak.

[Guillaine]

I'm not sure if this incident was socionics related or just our two different characters and values. But what I didn't like was that he was saying he was being upfront but for me if he needed to ask before meeting for coffee he should have asked before arranging to meet as well. Otherwise it feels like I'm being tricked a little and he being deceptive and posing as being straightforward....

[Bertrand]

oh you're saying he could have been even more efficient if he just said "ey bby lets fuk." true, in the perfect world it would be that simple, but even more people object to that than asking about it over coffee. it used to be you could just club your mate and drag her home

anyway the point is not whos right or wrong, just that this is how different perspectives work and how society tries to strike a balance between them and that set point does change over time. and based on where its set there are far ranging effects

also no one really tricks huxley.. they can always spin whatever it is into the upper hand, since they don't really believe in truth to begin with, everything is just an infinite series of branching opportunities. tricks are just another opening to take advantage of in some way shape or form. its only the illusion of a moral debt they like to create because doing so is like printing cash. if you take his point of view he's probably thinking he got tricked on substantially similar grounds.. if you weren't interested in being asked a sex question why even agree to get coffee when most people know thats an invitation to close the distance (don't answer this, this is rhetorical). seems like a form of Ni control function to say it was "too fast", and Te/Ni to say "not fast enough." humorously adam strange posted something similar where he said he feels like IEEs provoke him to make offers and then shut him down and hes annoyed because why bother. i guess he doesn't realize its a form of shit testing paced in such a way to extract maximum benefit not in terms of dominant rationality with a prominent time component, but more as a drawn out irrational affair to see who can keep things "interesting"--i.e.: not rushed, more about extending the mutual stimulation over time to the satisfaction of both sides (a kind of Si thing where its about making life less boring and more comfortable at the same time)

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Nah it's just a male thing and not all that socionics related. Men have wildfire-like sex drives, that are always naturally in opposition to morals and society standards, and what women want and can handle.

anybody human would be offended by that, it is offensive- hence the #metoo movement trying to bring about some balance to it, and many of us have been on the receiving ends of it and/or done it ourselves. Like it's human nature to want to talk pervy with somebody you're really into usually, but you overhear the same sort of stuff from somebody you don't view sexually- you now have the empathetic opportunity to view it as how immoral and objectively disgusting it really is. And hopefully, grow up and change your ways. Nah it's not the same thing as actual sexual assault, there's a line there but it's still very inappropriate and I think, better for society for the long run if it was changed. So bottom line, LIE or not- whatever, he shouldn't have been such a pig and went there. You probably thought you were more into him than you really were because I think LIEs can have very stereotypical 'alpha male' faces- but beside that, he was acting like a creepy omega male really.

man even cool bad-ass gamma LIEs can do something really socially off putting and beta manlet-ish, quelle surprise.

There needs to be more empathetic build up like 'is it okay if I xxx' and then see how the other person is responding, rather than just bluntly saying something sexual. yeah you do risk the sub not being turned on if they are hesitant instead of just 'going there', but as louis ck said once it beats having a serious sexual assault charge filed against you in case you are wrong lol. the 'just going' there thing.. you really have to be in tuned with your body, and the other person's, to even do something effective like that where it's not flat-out rape or just awkward/bad sex. I don't think two-dimensional Se really cuts it with that, if we must nitpick it socionically.

[Guillaine]

To clarify he did not say let's fuck. He asked if I give head, out of the blue, in between two unrelated other questions. I had no intention of sleeping with him by saying I would have coffee, even if other people might assume that. i gave him no information to think I wanted that. I did not provoke, prior to this he gave me the third degree about my life/son etc.

So I think it would be more transparent if it was essential that he knew the answer to that question before meeting to ask it before arranging to meet at the very least. Just my opinion.

About IEE's that may be true on one level. But there is another side to us that is very heartfelt, loyal and caring.

[ashlesha]

I lack experience with online dating but if somebody from a dating site asked a question like that prior to meeting I'd assume they weren't looking for a prolonged relationship.

[FDG]

To clarify he did not say let's fuck. He asked if I give head, out of the blue, in between two unrelated other questions. I had no intention of sleeping with him by saying I would have coffee, even if other people might assume that. i gave him no information to think I wanted that. I did not provoke, prior to this he gave me the third degree about my life/son etc.

So I think it would be more transparent if it was essential that he knew the answer to that question before meeting to ask it before arranging to meet at the very least. Just my opinion.

About IEE's that may be true on one level. But there is another side to us that is very heartfelt, loyal and caring.

he was just being provocative, it backfired, that´s kind of it I think...in his mind at least.

Tbh it´s not like SLIs especially the Te subtypes are champions of finesse - but they´ll likely be less direct.

[Adam Strange]

To clarify he did not say let's fuck. He asked if I give head, out of the blue, in between two unrelated other questions. I had no intention of sleeping with him by saying I would have coffee, even if other people might assume that. i gave him no information to think I wanted that. I did not provoke, prior to this he gave me the third degree about my life/son etc.

So I think it would be more transparent if it was essential that he knew the answer to that question before meeting to ask it before arranging to meet at the very least. Just my opinion.

About IEE's that may be true on one level. But there is another side to us that is very heartfelt, loyal and caring.

I haven’t done online dating yet, either, but I do meet a lot of women IRL with an eye toward dating them, and I’ve never asked a woman straight out if she gives head (on first meeting her).

On the other hand, I like to know what I’m dealing with and if there is any potential there, and I find that a person’s sexual proclivities can usually be completely understood by inference by the second date, at latest.

LIE’s are oriented toward ESI’s, and both are very straightforward. I was on a first date recently with an ESI who complained that her previous BF’s didn’t like the messiness of sex and couldn’t understand why she might need manual stimulation to reach orgasm, and I told her I’ve been familiar with both for years and it’s perfectly normal. Common, even. This level of direct honesty was within hours of meeting.

In the other hand, after sleeping with an SLI several times, I asked her for head and she said, disdainfully, “Who does that?” And she had had a number of previous BF’s.

Different strokes for different folks. But you should know that by now.

FWIW, I (an LIE) have been approached by two IEE’s in a way that I can only describe as them being extremely slutty. In both cases, when I responded even slightly to them, they completely shut me down and shut off. I interpreted this to mean they are oriented toward doing whatever it takes to get their incredibly inert duals to even fucking notice them. But if the object of their attention responds to them in the slightest, then that person is not an SLI and they’ve made a mistake.

That’s how we filter for our duals. So instead of complaining that an LIE doesn’t respond like an SLI, thank your lucky stars that the system works.

So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and stop bitching that your dog can’t do calculus.





*after coffee EDIT* @Guillaine, FWIW, I like the female IEE’s whom I know in real life. I completely agree that they are loyal, heartfelt, and caring. My ex-wife’s sister is IEE and is a wonderful person, as is my bookkeeper. I’m even trying to get my very inert SLI son to pay attention to IEE’s in the hope that he’ll have smoother sailing than I did in my first marriage.

But I’m not going to date an IEE, and I’m certainly not going to ask one about her sexual preferences. I’ll save that for the ESI’s.

[Sol]

I realised a guy was LIE after 2nd sentence but agreed to coffee anyway. Thought I'd learn about them at least. We arranged to meet. Then he asked me a sexually explicit question out of the blue.

Different factors besides types influence - personal, situational.
From the point of types:
1. It's not common for LIE. He could be this type or other like ILE, for example.
2. There are people who use dating sites just for short sexual relations. So he wanted to clear the situation sooner to do not spend the time on you if you are against such relations. There may be profile fields (or general comments fields used such) on those sites alike "I seek for long/serious relations/marriage" - to reduce the chance to repeat.
In case of possible ILE - they (and P Fe valued types) rather more than average tend to have many sexual partners and surface relations. For ILE sensual pleasure is the most important in relations for base Ne types - they seek for sex strongly, meanwhile emotionally close friendly communication needs the time and relates to Fi - their weak nonvalued region.
3. The degree of your negative could be lesser in case of better IR. You could to see that as funny situation, but not so bad.

> Immediately I was turned off by the timing- straight after we arranged and not before if it was that crucial to know, also not very caregiver of him, merry/serious clash?

Base T types (in common) seek for emotional side of relations the most, so sexual interest is expressed after significant emotions appear. Also it's important for them to have mutual feelings. All this does not happen on 1st date with the unknown ones. As the most important is emotional contact, so the expression of physical interest develops step-by-step, but not so roughly and accidentally. Base T types seek for long and emotionally good relations, but not sex with random ones.
That dude reminds Fe valued one as seems he did not care about your feelings (while romances are such region) and so acted in rough style, and reminds P type as you saw he acted accidentally without noticable preparation.

[Guillaine]

Thanks guys, yes I'm aware some men want sex on dating sites lol! And I do respect my duals who are more completely upfront about it and it does make me laugh and not feel threatened. I guess I thought if the guy was asking so much personal information about me, like about my son, which I find quite full-on but was patient enough to respond then he was not just looking for sex. Pretty sure he was LIE Sol. Just a bit inexperienced with F women perhaps. Actually, it's by knowing Adam online, the way he types, that I identified him.

It's no big deal. I just was curious to know why it got to me and I think it was partly a Creative-n/d clash. I like to view myself as original and impressive etc. with lots of wonderful, whiz-bang, experimental ideas and solutions up my sleeve for all parts of my life including the bedroom and for him to ask me such a mundane question kind of deflated me because he completely didn't see my potential and didn't give me the ingredients I need to be inspired and shine- appreciation and trust.

Also I'm just sensitive because the SLI-T I've been texting and recently spoke to has it turns out only months ago come out of a long term relationship and isn't looking for anything serious and I on the other hand am very ready after 3.5 years at home on my own with a baby so we agreed to part ways. Well, he wanted to be "friends" and I said no as I barely have energy for the right people, let alone those with no desire for a relationship.

[Sol]

Well, he wanted to be "friends" and I said no as I barely have energy for the right people, let alone those with no desire for a relationship.

For a woman to be "only friends" with a man is doubtful. Some chance if he's not free or in offline communication.
You mb pals. But if friendship feelings appear - it will not stop on this.
IRL good friendly communication with a man having good IR with you - straight road to a romance. If you have interest to him and sure you may become friends, have mutual attraction to your communication - spend your time on him. I'm not sure in your IR with him, as not sure in how people type even themselves, but if he's open in principle, you think him as your dual, like his look and find as smart one - such people cost the efforts.

> isn't looking for anything serious

This changes with feelings, while they start with friendship.
With good IR is needed closer psyche distance to notice good between you. The progress of feelings mb fast.

[Adam Strange]

Thanks guys, yes I'm aware some men want sex on dating sites lol! And I do respect my duals who are more completely upfront about it and it does make me laugh and not feel threatened. I guess I thought if the guy was asking so much personal information about me, like about my son, which I find quite full-on but was patient enough to respond then he was not just looking for sex. Pretty sure he was LIE Sol. Just a bit inexperienced with F women perhaps. Actually, it's by knowing Adam online, the way he types, that I identified him.

It's no big deal. I just was curious to know why it got to me and I think it was partly a Creative-n/d clash. I like to view myself as original and impressive etc. with lots of wonderful, whiz-bang, experimental ideas and solutions up my sleeve for all parts of my life including the bedroom and for him to ask me such a mundane question kind of deflated me because he completely didn't see my potential and didn't give me the ingredients I need to be inspired and shine- appreciation and trust.

Also I'm just sensitive because the SLI-T I've been texting and recently spoke to has it turns out only months ago come out of a long term relationship and isn't looking for anything serious and I on the other hand am very ready after 3.5 years at home on my own with a baby so we agreed to part ways. Well, he wanted to be "friends" and I said no as I barely have energy for the right people, let alone those with no desire for a relationship.

@Guillaine, let me apologize for clumsy LIE’s everywhere. I think you probably identified him correctly, because my approach may have a bit more finesse, but it is not different in kind. I like to get right down to business, and most LIE’s probably do, too.

I have found that my approach to women offends most types because, of course, they are looking for some type other than a pseudo-aggressor. I have solved this problem by simply not dating any types other than ESI’s.

And I’m sorry to hear that your SLI doesn’t want what you want. Keep looking, you’ll find one who does.

[Guillaine]

For a woman to be "only friends" with a man is doubtful. Some chance if he's not free or in offline communication.
You mb pals. But if friendship feelings appear - it will not stop on this.
IRL good friendly communication with a man having good IR with you - straight road to a romance. If you have interest to him and sure you may become friends, have mutual attraction to your communication - spend your time on him. I'm not sure in your IR with him, as not sure in how people type even themselves, but if he's open in principle, you think him as your dual, like his look and find as smart one - such people cost the efforts.

> isn't looking for anything serious

This changes with feelings, while they start with friendship.
With good IR is needed closer psyche distance to notice good between you. The progress of feelings mb fast.

Yeah when I say friends I think he wants friends with benefits if you know what I mean- sex without emotional/romantic involvement per se. I might keep my options open with him, we'll see.

[Sol]

I think he wants friends with benefits if you know what I mean- sex without emotional/romantic involvement per se

People want good relations with love.
You may try to establish friendship (soul attraction and some cooperation) and romance relations without sex with the one you think as the dual. Mb he'll accept this. Good IR help in this. Then feelings may develop for more.

The reasonable sequence: friendship -> serious feelings -> sex (if you both like the idea of possible marriage in case of pregnancy). If you both will feel the love - you'll want the marriage and children, naturally. In case of the dual - good chance for good relations and hence the reason to try this approach.
The approach of short and surface relations with early sex makes the obstacle for normal relations to appear. You'd spread your resources on alien people. Sex without serious feelings not only is lesser interesting and has risks, but may harm the normal relations development. As the energy for the efforts needed for establishing friendship in initial stage will be reduced. For normal relations creation it's useful to understand better each other, to understand better own feelings to each other, to give the time for feelings development, for preparations for marriage relations sometimes.

[SaveYourself]

I think I met an ILE. Only had a twenty minute conversation with him. At first he was difficult (but interesting) to speak to because he would start new sentences and topics imbedded in previous ones so I would have a response ready to what he was talking about but then he'd talk for another five minutes and change topics three more times. I had to learn when to tactfully interrupt him by predicting when he was about to come to a pause in one topic to follow another tangent and then jumping in when I could. He didn't seem to mind and conversation flowed much better when I started doing this even though I felt rude at first.

[Adam Strange]

I think I met an ILE. Only had a twenty minute conversation with him. At first he was difficult (but interesting) to speak to because he would start new sentences and topics imbedded in previous ones so I would have a response ready to what he was talking about but then he'd talk for another five minutes and change topics three more times. I had to learn when to tactfully interrupt him by predicting when he was about to come to a pause in one topic to follow another tangent and then jumping in when I could. He didn't seem to mind and conversation flowed much better when I started doing this even though I felt rude at first.

I predict he will quickly become addicted to you and will be back for more.

Just bear in mind, you are the adult in the room. At some point, he's going to challenge you for dominance. Let him know who's boss (You are.). He'll object but will eventually be fine with that, mainly because you indulge him and admire him like no one else does.

I've seen this happen myself. I don't know how you SEI's do it. (Well, it works for ILE's. NOT for LIE's.)

[golden]

I’ve probably done similar things to @Guillaine’s guy, frontloading my make-or-break attitudes and needs to avoid getting entangled with someone wrong for me, wasting my time and their time. This includes sex stuff first. I don’t think it was clumsy on my part, though. It was deliberate and direct, but the intent was benevolent and I think that came through.

If a guy asked if I give head, my response would be, how long ago did you break up with the woman who wouldn’t, and is that the only partner you’ve ever had? :/ I would also consider following up by asking why she wouldn’t, and if he bathes frequently, and if he goes down. Et cetera. I’d expect him to go away pretty quickly in response.

[Adam Strange]

I’ve probably done similar things to @Guillaine’s guy, frontloading my make-or-break attitudes and needs to avoid getting entangled with someone wrong for me, wasting my time and their time. This includes sex stuff first. I don’t think it was clumsy on my part, though. It was deliberate and direct, but the intent was benevolent and I think that came through.

If a guy asked if I give head, my response would be, how long ago did you break up with the woman who wouldn’t, and is that the only partner you’ve ever had? :/ I would also consider following up by asking why she wouldn’t, and if he bathes frequently, and if he goes down. Et cetera. I’d expect him to go away pretty quickly in response.

Those all seem like pretty legit questions, @golden, and I wouldn't be offended at all by them or hesitate to answer them.

This might be why I like LSI's. They are immensely practical and straightforward and down-to-earth about sex.

I remember having a short discussion moments before first having sex with my first LSI GF about likes and dislikes, preferences and show-stoppers, and then it was all good. Neither of us was offended by this. It was like, "I like daffodils, but I hate spiders, and I'm never going to jump out of an airplane."
Same with the second LSI.
With many of the other women I've dated, though, things were a lot less clear.

[ashlesha]

@Guillaine within the context you provided the question seems less grimy lol. I was just giving my initial reaction since it was being discussed as a type-related thing. Sorry if it seemed condescending.

[Cosmic Teapot]

My recent project group in uni had an LII who kicked himself out of the group. That was the first time I had a genuinely negative experience with an LII. Most seem to be peaceful and even in situations that threatened their program functions (in the case of LII: fairness through rationality and equality) they try to stay away from conflict that could harm the group atmosphere. This LII however had the mentality of a dictator.
It's only natural for a group that some people work more than others for whatever reasons. He couldn't have that. He insisted that everyone worked the exact same amount of hours. It got so bad that people started to actively avoid him. Eventually he understood the situation by himself and left which is tragic. He was one of the more competent members. I think he should've accepted what is instead of fighting the group mentality. The only one who saw any problems was him. Maybe and ESE or SEI could've helped. But as far as I can tell our group only consists of T-types.

[Bertrand]

maybe you should have stuck up for him

[golden]

My recent project group in uni had an LII who kicked himself out of the group. That was the first time I had a genuinely negative experience with an LII. Most seem to be peaceful and even in situations that threatened their program functions (in the case of LII: fairness through rationality and equality) they try to stay away from conflict that could harm the group atmosphere. This LII however had the mentality of a dictator.
It's only natural for a group that some people work more than others for whatever reasons. He couldn't have that. He insisted that everyone worked the exact same amount of hours. It got so bad that people started to actively avoid him. Eventually he understood the situation by himself and left which is tragic. He was one of the more competent members. I think he should've accepted what is instead of fighting the group mentality. The only one who saw any problems was him. Maybe and ESE or SEI could've helped. But as far as I can tell our group only consists of T-types.

I don’t think university profs should make students do teamwork, unless they intend to teach students how to do teamwork in the first place.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/m...fect-team.html

The pro-argument is that the real world works that way. Well, it doesn’t. All the teams I ever worked on professionally were clearly structured, with clear roles, clear goals, and lots of time for co-workers to get to know one another and find effective ways to collaborate. Typically some or even most of the workers irl are mature, too. And most people are more equally invested in the outcome and in getting along in future.

[Guillaine]

@Guillaine within the context you provided the question seems less grimy lol. I was just giving my initial reaction since it was being discussed as a type-related thing. Sorry if it seemed condescending.

No I did not feel that from your post, no need to apologise, none of us really knows what he was thinking. It was just annoying timing to me to ask right after I arranged and not before.

[Guillaine]

People want good relations with love.
You may try to establish friendship (soul attraction and some cooperation) and romance relations without sex with the one you think as the dual. Mb he'll accept this. Good IR help in this. Then feelings may develop for more.

The reasonable sequence: friendship -> serious feelings -> sex (if you both like the idea of possible marriage in case of pregnancy). If you both will feel the love - you'll want the marriage and children, naturally. In case of the dual - good chance for good relations and hence the reason to try this approach.
The approach of short and surface relations with early sex makes the obstacle for normal relations to appear. You'd spread your resources on alien people. Sex without serious feelings not only is lesser interesting and has risks, but may harm the normal relations development. As the energy for the efforts needed for establishing friendship in initial stage will be reduced. For normal relations creation it's useful to understand better each other, to understand better own feelings to each other, to give the time for feelings development, for preparations for marriage relations sometimes.

You may be right but I think it's pretty normal to take a year or more after a long term relationship breaks up to be open enough to feel love again, at least in my experience. If he says he doesn't want a relationship I am going to take him at his word.