That sounds like a tough situation to be in. People like that sap away my willpower and add stress when I'm already stressed out enough on my own, thanks. I'm lucky that I can just avoid people like that in my life. Can you be more specific about why you can't directly tell them that it makes you uncomfortable when they say these kinds of things? Do you have an HR department that helps mediate workplace conflicts? Can you be more specific about the nature of the criticisms (did the coworker make a comment about arm flab? that seems inappropriate)? Do you know the coworker's sociotype/instinctual stacking so we might know where they are coming from more?
I totally feel this quote. This is why the LIIs I know annoy me (and maybe ILEs would too, not as much experience w them so don't know). In casual/non-academic settings, Ti criticisms are nitpicky, useless, and nonconstructive IMO. Ti is amazing and powerful and vital for intellectual subjects, but I so do not give a tiny rat's ass about why it doesn't make sense that there are no seats on this side of the train platform while the other side has seats. There's no need to point out, criticize, and philosophize on every dumb/inconsistent thing you see in the world. They are endless! But while it's draining for me, I guess it's energizing for them, like how Fi is for me...
I'm not fine with love that is assumed. I do want (maybe "need" is too strong) vocal reciprocation of positive words. I think those are two related but not totally identical things. I like that @
applejacks mentioned she recognizes how other things that her husband does show his love for her. If someone assumed love when there are zero signs of it in any love language whatsoever, I would think that person is a fool. But if you are in mutual love with someone who just has a different love language, it should be possible to reach a compromise where you both try to use each other's top love languages more, as long as neither of you actively hates/fears/refuses to use/finds painful to use the other's main love language (which happened w a guy I dated who for some reason could not bear to use words of affirmation).
@rest of thread, EII berserk mode is interesting. ... I think the posts here are useful information about it (since the stereotype is that EIIs are perfectly docile and weak), but they over-dramatize its causes and manifestations IMO. It's probably different for E4s and E9s and also for varying psychological health levels. I'll make a thread about it since I'd be interested to hear more perspectives/stories about it (is there already such a thread?).