ISFj and Initiating Conversation

[Adam Strange]

Yesterday I had lunch at Panera’s with a divorced male ESI e9 (and I’m still feeling normalized a day later, but that’s another story), and we were talking about our ex-wives and whom we should date again. I, of course, was steering him towards female LIE’s but cautioned him that they were very rare, so he’d have to figure out how to recognize them and would have to nail them down immediately before they went off exploring, never to return. I told him that LIE women are not that feminine; they are basically female versions of me, and look kind of hard and are all business. I showed him some pictures of two female LIE friends of mine, and he said “Yes, I see what you mean.”

And of course, as we sat there, a single female LIE sat down two tables behind him and started watching me while she talked to someone on her phone and earbuds, and nursed her tea. I thought, “This is absolutely amazing.” and said, “Paul, there is a female Dual behind you. The woman in the blue shirt. Wait, don’t turn around. She’s getting up.”

She stood up and walked past us to get something from a service station before returning to her seat. Paul smiled and said “My, she looks pretty hard.” in a tone of voice that indicated that that wasn’t a problem and he was mentally making a shopping list. “So when you go out in public, you must be looking at all these people and determining their types? How do you do that?”

”There is something called Visual Identification, where your personality flows out of your face and forms it in the process. Also, I’ve had four years since my divorce to practice comparing faces and test this theory, and I’m obsessed.”

“Adam, what about that initial sexual attraction? You know, like some times you look at a woman and just say Wow, she’s really something. Where does that come in?”

I paused, kind of embarrassed. “Uh, I’m not sure, to be honest. I’ve never had that reaction to a dual. I had a dual come over to my house and she was practically naked and I was just, like, ummm, let’s talk about art.” I sat there feeling stupid and wondered if there might be something wrong with me.
”Maybe it’s because Nature makes the primary interactions between duals to be about living a life, and not sex. I really don’t know.”

I said, “In any case, now comes the hard part. You have to initiate the conversation with your dual because extroverts are not going to be able to see you. And I’m not sure how you can do that.”

At this point, the female LIE got up and walked out to her car. Paul’s eyes followed her through the front windows.

I grasped for straws and said ”Maybe you could go up to her and say “Is this seat taken?””

Paul smiled and threw up his hands, imitating the theoretical female LIE object, and said “Get lost, get lost!”

”No, a LIE wouldn’t say that.”

Paul then said smoothly and confidently “May I sit here? I feel like talking to someone”, and I realized how competent and comfortable he was with being an Aggressor.