Three years ago I was in my front yard and noticed an ESI working in the yard of the house across the street. I made some excuse to go over and talk to her and after about 45 minutes she suggested that we go out some time for a burger and beer “but no sex”. I thought WTF? Who mentioned sex?
So I called her a few times to get a lunch date and she was busy for two years.

Last year in July she was not busy and we went out and spent about eight hours hanging out and talking. After that date, she was too busy to go out for another year, despite my repeated text and phone invitations.

Today a package showed up on my porch when it was threatening to rain. I’m in another state and won’t be back for days, so I called the ex to take in the package and she didn’t pick up. I called a neighbor to pick up the package and she didn’t pick up. I called the ESI and asked if she could take in the package. She said she could. I told her I’d pay her for an hour of her time because everything takes an hour. She said “True story.”

She called me back to say she was on my front porch and I told her I’d put a check to her in the mail. She laughed and said I should do that every week. I said she’d have to actually do something for that money and she started to laugh again. Then she started chattering away, seemingly to keep me talking, but I had work to do so I just thanked her and hung up.

Slow to start a conversation. Glacial to start a relationship. And then she’s full speed ahead.