Intertype relationships of couples

[Words]

If you were to assess the couples that you know in real life, what are the intertype relations?

Are they really duality or same quadras? Or have you came across just as many which are predicted as being unfavourable relationships, perhaps even conflictors?

[Saoshyant]

IME, the most common pairing is the semi-dual pairing of ESTj - ISFj. Also lots of ESFj - ISTj couples. Perhaps out of sheer volume.

[willekeurig]

Activity and duality are easily the most common among people I know. The couples that came to my mind who I have typed:

LSE girl - IEE guy (activity)
IEE girl - LSE guy (activity)
SEI girl - LII guy (activity)
EII girl - SLI guy (activity)
EIE girl - SLE guy (activity)
ESI girl - LIE guy (dual)
SLE girl - IEI guy (dual)
ESE girl - LII guy (dual)
ESI girl - LIE guy (dual)
IEE girl - IEE guy (identical)

[golden]

a few off top of head:

LSI - IEI (activity)
ILI - SEE (duality, divorced)
SEI - SEI (identical)
SEI - ILE (duality)
LSE - IEE (activity)
IEI - SEE (semi-d)
IEI - SEE (semi-d, divorcing)
ESI - SEE (activity)
IEE - SLI x 3 (duality)
IEE - IEE (identical, divorced)

[silke]

Married or ex-married long-term couples with children:

LII-ESE duality (3 kids, 30+ years together)
ILE-SEE superego (2 kids, 13+ years together, divorced, ILE started a second family, remarried and had another 2 kids)
ILE-EII supervision (2 kids, 30+ years together)
ESI-SLE supervision (3 kids, 30+ years together)
ESI-SLE supervision (2 kids, 15+ years together)
SLI-SLE contrary (2 kids, 20+ years together, separated)*
LIE-EII semi-duality (1 kid, 30+ years together)
SLI-ILE semi-duality (2 kids, 30+ years together)
IEI-LSI activity (2 kids, 10+ years together, divorced, the IEI remarried an SLE and had another kid)
SEE-EIE benefit (1 kid, 13+ years together, divorced, the SEE filed for divorce and started pursuing a divorced LSI)
LSI-SEI benefit (3 kids, 30+ years together)

*This SLE-SLI couple had 2 boys whose types were also SLE and SLI. As they started having problems, when the SLI wife openly called her SLE husband a loser, to which he responded by separating from her, their mutual friends have noticed that their whole family seemed to have split in half - after their estrangement and separation, the younger SLE son preferred to be with his SLE dad, while the older SLI son preferred to stay with his SLI mother.

Non-married couples:

LII-SLI benefit (8+ years together)
IEI-IEE contrary (3 years together)
SLE-LII supervision (3 years together, 1 kid)
IEI-LIE supervision (3 years together)
LSI-SEE supervision (2 years together)
LSI-ILE supervision (3 years together, separated)
IEE-ILI mirage (5+ years together, separated)
ILE-ESE activity (1 year together)
ILE-ESE activity (<1 year together, separated)
LII-SEI activity (5 years together)
EII-LSE duality (2 years before fireworks)

... feels like I'm missing a few but these are the ones that come to mind rn

[Guillaine]

I know a couple of dual pairs
ESE-LII but both are their second marriages like they took a while to find their duals
one dual from youth IEE-SLI
also
ESE-SEI x2 Mirror MArried
EII-SLI x2 Activity married
ESI- SLI Benefit not married

IEE-SEI semi-dual not married but with kids
ESE-ILE Activity married
several IEI- EIE mirror couples
IEI-SLE dual married
LSI-IEI activity x2 married, one is my parents
SLE-ESE benefit married over 30 years very happy

I am still working out some of the types in my family and close circle.

[niffer]

The ones that I’ve gotten to know a bit more mostly seem to be duals. Mind you, I’m less interested in getting to know emotionally unstable individuals...

These are all the long term married couples I’ve gotten to know personally enough to be sure of their types:

male SEI female ILE x 4
female SEI male ILE x 1
male ESE female LII x 2
male LII female ESE x 3

male SLE female IEI x 1
female SLE male IEI x 1
male LSI female EIE x 2
female LSI male EIE x 1

male SEE female ILI x 1
male LIE female ESI x 1

male IEE female SLI x 1

Non dual couples:

male ILI female LSE x 1
male LII female IEI x 1

[Sol]

@niffer it's statistically doubtful
18 dual pairs vs 2 non-duals

though this IR are good, people make dual pairs not in large % due other strong factors of the choice
mostly people marry on those who are near them for long time. not large chance you get there an appropriate dual to establish relations and avoid all other possibilities. duals are cute but mostly passion and circumstances lead people, not a friendship what dual gives the most

you are too romantic

[niffer]

@Sol I already explained this in my post. Of course it’s more likely my mind would be more attracted to get to know duals more. It’s not like it’s necessarily statistically representative of the general population. I didn’t claim that.

You’re the one interpreting shit I say romantically, lol. It’s good that you pointed it out though because that’s how typical stupid people interpret data.

[Sol]

I already explained this in my post.

Your arguments are weak. Statistically impossible. Even if to do not take into account that most of your typings due to statistics are wrong.

While from only the typing side. You are not experienced typer to assume you type better than average. Even own type you understand very wrongly, - came to that recently after closer to you other FN types.
Average typing match is <20%. 0.2 ^ 0.5 -> X [your possible accuracy to identify correctly type of one human]. The possibility to do this for 2 humans = X^2 = 20%. Among your 18 pairs 80% may to have other IR. So you get only <=4 duality pairs. And this is relatively realistic. While >=14 pairs have other IR.

> You’re the one interpreting shit I say romantically, lol.

Because you have too good opinion about peoples in relations which you think as good ones. You idealize those people because of their romantic behavior. That's why I called you as romantic. And because IEI are such - emotions is what dominates in you.

> It’s good that you pointed it out though because that’s how typical stupid people interpret data.

I hope you'll be smart enough to understand your mistake.

[niffer]

Lmao @Sol wake up!

[Sol]

Lmao Sol wake up!

ah. this your argumentation is logically unbeatable you cheat

[niffer]

Thought of one more couple: Female LIE male ILE

[niffer]

ah. this your argumentation is logically unbeatable you cheat

That’s what makes me SLE

[FDG]

thinking about some couples who live together since a while

ili male esi female
esi male ili female
lsi male iei female
lse male see female
lie male esi female
ili male see female
ile male sei female
sle male eie female
lsi male ese female
eii male sli female
lie male sle female
esi male esi female

[FDG]

@niffer it's statistically doubtful
18 dual pairs vs 2 non-duals

though this IR are good, people make dual pairs not in large % due other strong factors of the choice
mostly people marry on those who are near them for long time. not large chance you get there an appropriate dual to establish relations and avoid all other possibilities. duals are cute but mostly passion and circumstances lead people, not a friendship what dual gives the most

you are too romantic

mhmh in my experience there are a lot of dual and activity or benefit pairs in romantic relationships.

[Sol]

That’s what makes me SLE

You need real SLE man which will show the advantage of his logics and the will over yours to explain by such you are emotional and awkward IEI compared to him.

[niffer]

You need real SLE man which will show the advantage of his logics and the will over yours to explain by such you are emotional and awkward IEI compared to him.

conflict with me bby

[Sol]

mhmh in my experience there are a lot of dual and activity or benefit pairs in romantic relationships

The half of my arguments was that % of dual pairs should not be high.
Speculatively, it's mb 7-20%. And it's doubtful there is a magical "health" factor which strongly rises the % of dual pairs to 90%. Classical Socionics knows nothing about this magic. 80% of people are rather similar and have no significant psyche issues. To communicate only with "the health ones" and to get there 90% of duals is lol.

The % of other good IR like activity and semiduality mb similar. With other IR mb lesser.
Good IR give better friendship, friendly sympathy. While people more choose the pairs by the sum of other factors.
The main of which are: 1) the human is regularly near you, 2) you get the passion to him.
Most of the marriage pairs should be not in good IR. Mb sometimes we'll get the real stats. At now is known that 50% of marriage pairs divorce - the passion goes away, while friendship is not good -> not good IR mostly. In the other half people may keep the relations also not because of the good friendship feelings -> significant % there is not good IR too. >50% of pairs should not to have good IR. Among all groups - healthy, richy, crazy, ph.d... - anyones. Even among so called Socionists it can be the same lol as they mistype often themselves, not only others.

[Sol]

conflict with me bby

[maniac]

Sol is so Fe

[FDG]

The main of which are: 1) the human is regularly near you,

Sol, I don´t know how it works where you come from, but in my life I often purposefully chose whom I wanted to be "near" to. It´s something you can personally decide and change. You seem to take it as a given but ime, it isn´t.

[Guillaine]

Do you think it also depends on the type? Esi people seem to do relating and long term relationships well so they can be found in a variety of IRs, more so than some other types

[Sol]

in my life I often purposefully chose whom I wanted to be "near" to

I meant the ones whom you see and saw regularly, who nearly lives like neibours, studies, works, etc. You have no much choice for them. _Mostly_ people make long pairs with such ones.
While when they do relations with more random people - the influence of type related personality is even lesser, as people know it lesser.
So people are mostly attracted by what is not related to friendship and hence not big % of pairs with good marriage IR (duals, semiduals, activators).
Also there should be more than by random chance pairs among IR for cooperation: identity, mirror, partially good mirage. Among order and revision, when the active side (attracted by the initial passion or other profits) is orderer and revisor, which are easier to give good impression. Some IR among worse ones have an additional chance to attract as those people are easier to assume personal traits of close types with good IR - this may create short pairs, but a part becomes marriages as people can be very optimistic, stubborn, to follow principles or by other reasons.

Many people are not motivated [on practice] to find good relations at all!
I saw people which say like: I do not need love, only [money,sex,...] as feelings are temporary. They do not seek friendship, they do not believe it's possible and seems never had the experience of romances in good IR to understand the difference. I suspect bad experience of previous relations based on feelings from mostly the passion or calculation lead them there. Sometimes they were rised in unstable families or with much conflicting parrents. Such people are more doubtful to create long pairs and they do bad pairs.
It's one of problems which is created by early age sexual behavior and by sexualized culture which is forced by mass medias propaganda since 1960s. As the result people lesser seek for love, do lesser efforts for better feelings in a pair -> create bad and unstable pairs, without good friendship, without good care about each other, without deep and strong feelings for this care. It mb one the reasons why today West borns lesser children and mb this was one of the aims for this propaganda.

Do you think it also depends on the type? Esi people seem to do relating and long term relationships well so they can be found in a variety of IRs, more so than some other types

The higher abbility of F types to make relations in worse IR can be compensated by their abbility to understand which people are better for them. So they may create long bad IR relations not more often.

[Nyam]

can you talk more on the ILE EII couple

[Simplylee]

OK here are some couples from real life

IEE man-IEI woman (contrary/extinguishment)
LSE man-ESI woman (semi-duality)
ILI woman-EII man (benefactor beneficiary)
LSE woman-LII man (mirage)
LIE woman-LSI man (mirage, but then LSI divorced LIE, and married another woman, type unknown)
LII man-ILI woman (quasi-identical)
LSE woman-EII man (duality, married very young and stayed together till death, very sweet actually)
LSE woman-LSI man (contrary/extinguishment)
ESE man-EII woman (mirage)