Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post

Wanted to expand a bit more in this. I think to be young and hopeful about meeting someone is a lovely thing. And if you are lucky enough to experience a healthy or passionate relationship (or both) at a young age it’s a good thing. Also, it’s ok to wait a bit until you feel ready for a relationship. It’s ok to date or be single. But when I was young I knew several people who didn’t date or have relationships because of low self-esteem. I was one of them. I think it’s sad that they missed out on having romance in their life for those years, although most of them did eventually get more confident and meet people. There is an outstanding tv show in the UK atm called Sex Education, a super funny and warm drama about forming healthy relationships when you’re young if anyone’s interested It’s very cool.


I do also believe that socionics can be a useful tool for young people who haven’t had the best guidance about relationships from their parents. My mum never spoke to me about sex or relationships for example. Whatever age a person feels ready to date or have relationships, there should be support and guidance available to them if they need it.


But I think the forum could do with a bit more discussion of healthy or passionate love with non-duals. I know duality is fascinating, it always will be, but the whole point in why it’s good (when it’s good) is because it’s healthy + loving..it makes life happier. And that’s something couples of other ITR can also aspire to. So it’s ok to discuss those relationships too. I know there is more to the forum than duality discussion but it’s an aspect of socionics/the forum that can come off a bit elitist or non-inclusive and could be a bit off-putting for new-comers. (Maybe also a bit snobbish/pretentious).

The prescriptive nature of ITR and type descriptions can also be off-putting so it’s good to talk about more real life-experiences.
Your points are very well-taken by me, Bethany, an admitted duality worshipper on the forum. I truly do appreciate the wisdom, b/c I have noticed the idealization of duality seeping into my perceptions and mental portrayals of romantic relationships between certain couples i know that have less favorable ITRs, and i don't want my thinking to be overly deterministic or limited like that. Really liked what you wrote in another thread too, the one asking if other people associated people with colors, about how you'd been recalling a compassion meditation exercise and wanted to get back to seeing your friends' essences in your mind's eye, over and above their sociotypes. I love that. BTW loved first 2 seasons of Sex Education and pretty excited to see that the 3rd one has come out! Last season ended on a cliffhanger haha (as seasons tend to do). I definitely relate to your thoughts too about it being ok to wait to date until one feels ready--hard relate.

I'll see if i can walk the walk by incorporating more open-minded perspectives in future thinking and posts. I do still think my best match would be a dual and have reasons to think that odds are still fairly in my favor that i could find one..., but it's really good to remember the complexity out there too -- even for the simple but important truth that not every dual is going to be right match for someone... (or maybe we could say not even most? not sure).

Again, thanks for sharing, I enjoy and learn from your posts.