So, How to date a dual and do I have one or is duality a myth?

[Armitage]

It’s all about being finding healthy love and meeting the ‘one’ and settling down. Where is the romance?

How is it not romantic to feel so much in love with someone for a long time that you're willing to settle down with them and marry? It takes giving up part of one's daily life and freedom for the benefit of the relationship, and I think that through self-sacrifice we show that we care.

Young people, it’s ok to be with someone in your early twenties/teens that isn’t the person you’ll end up married to..

This my future-oriented Ni finds hard to accept, especially since my Te wants to increase happiness and to take the shortest route towards there.

..and really the fastest way to finding that type of happiness is not through finding a dual. It's through enjoying your life and finding support from a number of sources.

Agreed.

It almost does an injustice to those couples who are non-duals and the love they have for each other. There should be more positive descriptions on non dual-relations in my opinion..

Also....love is love. I have a close friend in a happy relationship with their look-a-like partner. I know another in an activity pair. I think they’d be horrified if I told them they were better off with someone else? I think when you’re in love, and it’s going well, you achieve a type of duality. I don’t think you really notice the negative aspects of the ITR as much as you do, say with a friend or a stranger. I also know a happy mirror couple, together 15 years..

I think that the whole point of Socionics is to help find love for those who are still looking and to assist the couples who are going through a bad spade to better understand each other. The couples who are already doing well don't need it, though it's always nice to learn more about your partner and yourself.

Would the world benefit from knowing about duality? Maybe. But the world would also benefit from simply knowing about ITR and using socionics to help them understand and appreciate people. Not everyone can hang around for a dual, but socionics more importantly can help people feel better about who they are..and help them achieve success in life. The more people who are enlightened about psychology, the more equal the world is likely to become, the more people will be caring towards each other and enjoy their time on this earth.

Wholeheartedly yes.

[Bethanyclaire]

How is it not romantic to feel so much in love with someone for a long time that you're willing to settle down with them and marry?It takes giving up part of one's daily life and freedom for the benefit of the relationship, and I think that through self-sacrifice we show that we care.

oh yeah sorry sounds like a bit of a contradiction. Finding the 'one' is romantic, planning a life together, or maybe even being young together but it's also a bit..conventional Just saying it's not the only way, you can have more than one relationship before you get to that.

I guess I'm not really used to an environment where people seem so self-aware and conscious of their own mental health levels and what is the most stable, wholesome way to love/live. It's a good thing, it's what the forum is for, but also I think a bit of adventure can be good for the soul too. Have a wild love affair or two.

Sure, some people want to settle down young, and maybe they feel it's their safest and surest way to finding someone but sometimes settling down young doesn't work. Most people don't marry their first love, but may look back fondly on the idealism or passion of those first relationships..even if they got their heart broken. I think through having multiple relationships people often learn what type of person is good for them.

My SEE sister said a similar thing about having to give up your freedom when you're in a relationship. You do have to (although it's not the aspect I would find most difficult)..but you don't necessarily need to do it with the first person you meet.

The way duality is written about..it seems like it's supposed to be something to aspire to. Relationships of other ITR can be even more romantic than the average dual couple, though some might disagree. So I don't think people should be sad if they don't have a dual. If I can't have a perfect, healthy dual relationship well there are some pretty nice, romantic alternatives...even if they don't last as long as a dual one would..

Also, I do think there are things you can get from a non-dual that you can't get from a dual..