Tell me about yourself.


Hmm. . . I'd let the rest of the questions answer that. But if I'd describe myself in a few words — I'd say curious and determined.

I figured I can explain myself well with the rest of the questions but I guess one note about me is that I tried developing Mbti functions for about a year and a half. So I guess it'll be different than if I answered the questionnaire before that time.


What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I'm in classes where I've chosen to specialize in science and math. The humanities were interesting but I didn't have that much interest in expressing emotions and understanding people. There was the choice of business, but I figured my strengths didn't lie there. I liked analysis and alone time so this was a good fit. I figured I'd go to computer science when I get to college soon.


I also have some ambition about changing the world — which will probably never happen but I'd still attempt mostly for altruistic reasons. I'd skip the cheesy inspiration story but I've went through some intense dark times and was deeply touched by the people who helped me that I figured I'd help people back. That took a while mostly because I found "kindness" just one of those irrational emotions that distracted me from my intellectual hobbies as haha. . .lots of people who helped me noticed. I don't know how many times people told me I was too detached from my emotions.




What are your values, and why?
Mostly wisdom and truth. Next is probably openness to uncertainty and adaptability. Another is deep focus and last is compassion. Basically I don't want to be that kind of person who grows more close minded and arrogant as they gain more experience — I want to remain an openness that there's still more to know in wisdom and truth yet enough skepticism to smell bullshit. To pursue that truth with deep focus and to share insights to others.




What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I read books on about every genre. I figured if I wanted to understand truth and wisdom — it would be a good idea to learn from all kinds of perspectives. Lately I've been programming, drawing, epistemology and metaphysics. Also I've been curious on reading on the info if the world is really getting better or not. For the philosophical subjects and this, I want to see for myself — not what anyone else just says.


Also I've been a bit interested in systems thinking — the thinking to understand things with interrelated complex elements and dynamic phenemona that are self sustaining. I figured if I'm attempting to change the world — I better know how to understand big problems. Also diet and exercise — need to live long to have a bigger impact.


Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
I tend to not talk to people that much — face to face relationships are about the lowest life priority in my life. I like people enough in that I'm seriously attempting to have a huge impact but if asked how high I think of actually talking to them when doing that — not that much.


I tend to have warm relationships when I'm with them though. It's very easy for me to like people — as long as they respect my privacy. Though for most of my life I remember looking down on ignorant idiots who don't question things and well, I still do a bit sometimes. I find with time that I appreciate relationships more and more — even if it's just small talk.


What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I don't approach people that much. People approach me. But if I look for friends, I prefer people with interesting hobbies to bond with. But most of the time — I just go along with whatever topic of conversation the other person wants. I used to think many of this as boring and while secretly pissed, wondered why I kept going along with people. I practiced directing the conversation more and I can, but unexpectedly I became more comfortable with just going along.


I'm not interested in romantic relationships. I don't know why. I just know I rarely had that feeling of needing to be deeply close to someone.


What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I have a close friend who says I bluntly argue with him a lot. It's not irritating enough that he'd throw away our decade long friendship but he shows a slight dislike on it as well as an endearing view of it sometimes.. I ironically start of off playful and friendly while slowly showing a more stoic and analytical side. So I just tell him that means I like him.


Another thing is that I keep telling him I'm uncomfortable with hugs with him but he still likes to surprise me with one sometimes. Heh. He also tells me I keep too many secrets from him.




How would your friends describe you?
Book loving. Quiet. Calm. Patient. Easygoing. Intelligent. Warm. Pleasant With a touch of childlike silliness. I guess you can call me a likable nerd. Sure. I keep getting called adorkable for some reason.




What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I've been repeatedly been told about being knowledgeable and easy to get along with in some form. I tended to find it easy to accept flaws in myself and change my beliefs once I see they are flawed. I find an ability to question assumptions and to be certain of myself when others say otherwise. I tend to approach novel problems and ideas with curiosity rather than fear. I tend to be good at focusing — which is less a natural ability (It was shit.) then it has to do with some years of meditation. I also have this ability to find inspiration and opportunity in pretty much anything — no matter how unrelated it is to the actual situation I'm looking to improve.






What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I have a certain need to be admired for achievements too much. I can be too secretive. I used to be shitty at following through. I used to be too unaware of my emotions. I can be sensitive to noises and crowds. My thinking can to be too slow sometimes — since I tend to like thinking before acting and sometimes I don't have time to think. I can overanalyze things in a way that creates false problems.


In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I say I manage life well on my own. I've done most things alone and went through much of life's challenges alone. I don't seem to understand the need for directly asking help. I can find better more in depth resources on the internet and books after all. People seem to like asking things on forums and Q&A sites but chances are someone has already asked that question.


I have to ask help in understanding technical subjects — many subjects I learn are complex enough that I can't just easily google it. I also have grown more comfortable with asking for help when I'm stressed — due to some severe stresses in my life.




What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I find while I'm researching things, the deeper I go, the more I see that sources tend to repeat things I already know. I find going through that a chore but I want to find the truth of things — so I'm still doing this. I enjoy intellectually difficult things. Novel things. Controversial information and opinions, because that's where I best practice thinking for myself. Explaining complex information to someone in the simplest way possible. There's something lovely about summaries, examples, diagrams, definitions and analogies. Haha.


What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
I don't really make certain plans — I just make a list of options and a limit that isn't too rigid. (ex. "Please work on this anytime today. But for goodness sake, do it today.") I do tend to fixate on a certain goal — but the myriad of ways I can do that is something I figure out as I go. Though, I find that my choices are becoming more focused, followed through and detailed than they used to — something about the familiarity of structure is getting to me.


If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
I'd get my ass back to work. Can't have an impact on bettering other's life if I sit on my lazy ass. Besides, I always had an admiration on huge achievements — always liked those movies and shows where the characters go through extreme hopeless situations and survive. Or change. Win. Excel. Soar.


It began that when going through some dark times — when I took long a break from bettering myself — I felt empty. I was intensely scared of change yet changing . . . made me feel an enormous sense of accomplishment. And so I wanted to live a life where I'd achieve bigger and bigger tasks — because it gives me a sense of confidence — a feeling that I can do anything if I can put my mind to it. A fearlessness in saying that if I know how to do all that, then I know more than enough to survive life's difficulties.


What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
Eh. I find childish humor endearing. Like toilet humor, dirty humor or really lame puns. Nothing more hilarious than the most burp matches with other people. Today, I burped more than 20 times. Haha. I'm so talented!


What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
I'm very lazy at organizing my environment. Only thing I can think of organizing are my ideas and options. . . placed in lovely categories. Beautify? I don't care about that. Daily chores are okay I guess — Putting on headphones for music and podcasts are enough to entertain me.


How do you behave around strangers?
I tend to look fairly approachable. Not sure why — I figured it had to do with body language and reputation.


I'm friendly when I'm approached but tend to be quiet and focused when not approached.


How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
Just walk away. I don't want them to waste my time and I don't want to deal with them. If it gets too much, I'll have to confront them. But as much as possible — walk away.


What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.
That I am unambitious. It's less that I am and more that my demeanor tends to overall look very laidback and relaxed. Spoftspoken. Even childlike at times. I'm very quiet about my goals. But they don't know how much researching, how much learning, how much I put into personal development, how much strategizing, how much doing, how much trying to change the limits of my mind and body — that I put into ambitions for much of my life.




What did you do last Friday?
I remember after school, I was strategizing my next move in my probably will never happen plan to change the world and my own personal development.


If you are doing a video you can stop here or choose from the rest of the questions as you like.
If you are answering in writing, please answer ALL questions.


What is your biggest accomplishment?
I survived a depression and anxiety where I even had thoughts of suicide. I survived feeling anxious from the morning until my sleep. I survived getting into everyday emotional breakdowns and aggressions in violence. I survived distrusting everyone and thinking everyone secretly hated me. I survived thinking an itch meant I was going to die. I survived an existential depression on humanity's ultimate lack of knowledge, thoughts on death, nature of reality and meaning.






What is something you regret?
I don't really regret anything but if I had to choose — I'd say I should have asked for help sooner in the darkest times in my life. Deep stress makes me isolate myself.


Who do you admire, and why?


I admire the everyday people around me. People always have certain skills I lack or aren't good at. It can range from someone who can make an entire room laugh with ease or someone who has a mastery of World War II information. I get the deep awareness that everyone knows something that I don't and I get curious and humbled by the thought.


What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
. I realized I often questioned what is true. But I haven't questioned my criteria of what makes things true. It reminds me of when I read the book 1984 — where people's beliefs are controlled not just by lying to them, but changing their criteria for what constitutes reality — that is, whatever the government. Even entire histories could change if the government said so.


What if there's still something I don't know? What makes something true? What is reality? I have to know.


What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
I've been an agnostic atheist since I was a preteen, when I questioned my Christian beliefs by researching them.


I also believe in monism (the belief in the oneness of the universe), as I've researched the logical arguments with care then later thought I should try the practical meditations for it. Holy crap — it worked better than I thought it would. I felt a transcending bliss I didn't even know was possible and it sustained for longer hours that blew my fucking mind.




What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
I'm not much for politics. I bet I'll start caring more once I'm old enough to vote. I've been interested in it before though but I think I've forgotten lots of my stances on it.


Morality in politics seems oddly arbitrary to subjective belief. Someone may argue for one side because they value freedom more and another one values discipline more. I'd go with the belief of the most happiness for the most number of people but even that could be confusing (Ex. The definiton of people being mor complicated when counting babies who aren't born.)


It's confusing — but I like confusing. Maybe I should get into it more later on.






Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
Who knows? Maybe I will someday. I don't plan out my life with 100% certainty.


I imagine I'd be a pretty great idea guy or devil's advocate to ideas like I normally do with groups I'm in. Another skill is how much obsessive focus I can have when I have to research something and I can use that skill here too. I also tend to have a liking to explaining my ideas in the simplest way possible — not just to share knowledge, but because explaining them that way enhances my own understanding.




What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I like quiet work environments, where I can think and focus independently. I like autonomy and flexibility in what I can do. I like the room for creative ideas with the mix of the rigidity of logic. It's oddly pleasant really — the mix of novelty and familiarity. The mix of freedom and structure.


I also tend to not need but still appreciate a friendly environment as I spend my time alone. A community that tends to have some friendliness in greeting with a smile each time they see me and I to them — yet still gives me room for solitude.


What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
I have a personal development class where I'm studying and it's just perfect. I don't just want to learn a narrow area in life — I want to learn a wisdom I can apply to everything. And this does just that.


How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
I guess I just accomplish what is asked of me. I used to get annoyed at how my school doesn't emphasize the same things as I do — truth, skepticism, openmindedness but later I figured if I can't change them — at least learn what I can from them.


Innovations of the future is often built from the past. Einstein for example had to learn the basics of how to count and the past knowledge of mathematics to even have the possibility of making general relativity. It's also proved by my experience — situations where I got trigger happy with new opportunities but didn't learn from past mistakes. The conventionality of formal education is part of the past — my responsibility is to learn it.




Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I just stayed in my house alone most of the time actually. The close friend I mentioned earlier tells me I should be more "adventurous" and go outside more. But I told him this like, "The light above you seems mundane at glance. But the ideas behind how it works makes it more interesting. You can travel to a breathtaking waterfall but for me, reading the ideas on its culture associations and science is more interesting."


"But you'll learn more in the real world!"


"Many concepts can't be seen from the real world.."




What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?


I kept getting little library awards for most books read in a year in the children's library. I learned how to read earlier than other children and other kids would often see me reading alone in various places.I was a sensitive kid — crying more than the other elementary kids from a line of overly paranoid beliefs (ex. Monsters in the dark.) Mostly quiet but I had a louder side of being class clown growing up — making puns and pranks, probably because I like the praise I get when others laugh.


I also liked praise from teachers on getting high grades — probably the cause of why I had some workaholic tendencies growing up. I'm way more emotionally stable. Still prone to working on intellectual hobbies for long periods alone. And maybe not as . . .uhh. . .. overly competitive. More cooperative. Still making jokes — though more socially appropriate.






What was your high school experience like?
I did mention my depression and anxiety before. Not fun — when I'm severely stressed — I get a lot more easily offended, overemotional, isolated and prone to tantrums. Repeated visits to the guidance counselor. Apathy from most yet deep kindness I'm deeply thankful for from certain people. I distrusted everyone — even myself and those people . . . they managed to gain my trust with an unconditional patience. The first days with that I asked myself that maybe there was something worth to all this "love is the greatest thing" in life. Not just a distraction from my study or an irrationality.


Talk about a significant event from your life.
I don't remember when the habit began, but in my darkest times when I asked myself why I wanted to live, I formed an answer. The greatest gift for me was the ability to learn and even with all this pain, I still had that. I thought of what could be — what's left to explore in the unknown. I hanged on to whatever desire I had left to learn for the sake of learning. I was afraid and tense— all the time. So I tried to lift whatever curiosity I had into the science of happiness and mental illness to motivate me to figure out what I had to do.




Do you like kids? Why or why not?
Kids are fine at a certain amount. I think of them similar to how I think of older people. It's okay — long as they don't fuck with my alone time.


Last kid I talked at length with was my 8-10 year old cousin. He liked how I listened to his obsession with Batman, memes, shark facts and video games. And less that I'm often silent in my conversations with him.




If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? A child seems too much responsibility to raise (I think working for the society is more important than close relationships like a family.) but if I chose to — I'd go on regular solitary research to improve parenting. Contemplate my own ideas of how to raise a kid — use my ability to find opportunities everywhere. Make sure I get first hand sources and try each possibility to see if it's true for myself— everything has to be accurate. EVERYTHING. And of course, make sure I won't end up as the overly distant and closed off parent because damn, I can see myself becoming that.




Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.


I feel stuck when I'm afraid of trying something, even overanalzying it. Maybe don't get the praise for my accomplishments that I want to. I can work my ass exhausted and I'd still feel like I have to keep working.


Last week I unconsciously interpreted my growing curiosity and feeling of altruistic purpose in life to mean that I have unlimited energy. So I worked myself exhausted enough that I needed to rest my mind and body for the entire weekend. Whenever I tried to work, I just felt depressed though oddly satisfied at what I've done —though I made sure I took care of myself and slept as early as 7:30 pm.


Both situations — I just try to get myself to relax. Maybe meditate. Watch something light. Take a walk. And so on.


How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.


I see people as a complex system of interrelations and different social groups in society. With a thinking machine — our brains — as the most complex known object in the universe. Really, people are fascinating. I tend to see the world as different forms and topics of knowledge sending off to one person to another — and I'm better of doing my job to get information to spread.


I guess the social problem I see prevalent the most is people don't give much importance to understanding things. They can achieve things efficiently and organize themselves — but if you're just going to charge head on without knowing why a problem is happening, sometimes they're not going to solve it.




What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
I tend to spend time alone and try to think on how to solve a problem. Sometimes I try a variety of hobbies so I can find connections to how to solve a problem. Or research other's experiences and lessons from it. Maybe try to remember what I've done before.




Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?


I guess I'd lead if no one wants to but mostly I just work as a follower. I guess because I don't see much skills in leading and think I'd work better for a group as the idea guy or a devil's advocate to other's ideas.


How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
Anger is the negative emotion I feel least considering how patient I tend to be. I usually hold it in but I learned if I don't release pent up anger— I get ridiculously pissed off and often stay alone to hide it. So I've been practicing just politely telling people to back off directly more — not perfect now (At times, I don't notice I'm angry) but lots of progress. No more freaking out internally after I do so.


Haha. Holy fuck — showing my anger after repressing it all this time is incredibly satisfying. Last time I did I was laughing from relief for several minutes straight because I was pissed at that guy for months. I think I cried tears of joy a bit.


I get angry when people whose authority I don't respect and need is trying to control me or repeatedly give advice I disagree with. Also the more absorbed I am in a study, the more pissed I get with someone constantly distracting me from it.






What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?


At a certain point, I felt a fascination. Not just an everyday — "Hmm. That's interesting." It was a transcending bliss — the feeling of utter ignorance in the world yet the pleasure that there was so much to understand. The feeling of an utter love and wonder learning — not just for the stereotypical intellectual hobbies I have — but everything. But the fact that every second in my life I'm encountering something new — even if incredibly tiny. I felt like the most curious person in the world.


It was the deepest feeling of satisfaction I ever had in my life.




What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
You see, when the U.S summer vacation starts, where I am, that's when my classes start. I was missing my old class. The old hangout places I used to read in. The old problems I was solving. The old interests I used to read on. I didn't used to remember memories like this in so much detail — it's strange.


And strangely I missed the people I used to be with. When a friend asked me if I missed my class last year, I looked at her with a 'Oh, damn she's going to find out' smile on my face. "Wait, you actually miss someone? You've changed," she said.


Yeah, haha. I agree.


I've changed more these past two years than I ever had in my entire life.


What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?


The best thing is learning — of course.


What is the best learning? I used to define it as something wrapped in concepts and connections. Later on I'd learn how much experiences really allowed for a greater depth of understanding — When I learn about a theory about society or how people predict things, I don't just read it, I look for that in my experiences around me. I get the sense that I have to go back to old interests and relive them — I haven't understood them in enough detail.


I grew enough heart to care about contributing what I find in my curiosities more — but still learning for learning sake is still my priority.


What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
I don't really think of interest in terms of physical places. Oh well. What just comes to mind is my house — less because it has anything exciting or novel to it but more because it's just my ol' good familiar house. With my ol' good familiar thinking couch. You know how it goes.


How do you dress or manage your appearance?
Comfort and simplicity. I can be a bit lazy with all this, especially my hair being in an ignored mess sometimes.


Do you like surprises?
Depends. If someone provides me a surprise gift, I don't show it but I'm pretty dissatisfied with it. When I want to buy something, I look at the reviews. I think of how much I have and how much I'm saving. I check my priorities and analyze my special criteria for buying. It's a complex process enough that I want to be the one to do it.


Is there anything else important about you that we should know?


Another primary idea to my philosophy is everything is interesting — it's your perception of things that make it boring. Maybe you can see its potential more. Or to see even the tiny novelties or subtle changes in it. Make an analogy with something you like. A different use or opportunity for it you haven't thought of before. Maybe you can interpret it in a different way — I believe you can ask a question a hundred times and there still could be something new to understand.


Maybe the best trait for learning is the drive to learn itself than natural intelligence. I really experienced in my life that if I'm curious, not even intense fear can stop my ass from understanding. Well — temporarily it will, but I get to it. Haha.