naw i wasnt thinking you were guilty of that at all, rather just thinking back to some interractions with EII in the past

i was actually thinking about it earlier to myself and I think the conclusion i came to was that they dont want "solutions" in the technical sense they're just looking for emotional understanding but that goes against my innate proclivity to want to just fix things and move on so when i start offering stuff they shoot it down not because theyre bad ideas but because theyre trying to make sure i understand the emotional state, which is a kind of sadness or despair or whatever and they want that to be accepted as is

i dont think theyre actually against solutions ultimately either, i think they just want to establish genuine mutual understanding first, so they take any attempt that feels like bypassing that as an invitation to use Ne to reframe things in order to better convey the emotional state, but it just comes off as argumentative from my point of view, which I understand your point and it is well taken that they hate arguing, its just a big miscommunication basically because theyre not trying to argue theyre simply trying to make themselves understood