How are EIIs naturally built for LSEs, in terms of appearance, behaviour and traits?
How are EIIs naturally built for LSEs, in terms of appearance, behaviour and traits?
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
Quick response, EII's prefer LSE's over LIE's because LSE's are perfectionists and they respect the law.
LIE's respect the law as long as it doesn't get in our way.*
*As told to me by an EII secretary, who knows both LIE's and LSE's.
EDIT
Wait, you asked what LSE's see in EII's. Dunno, unless it is someone who keeps them from doing or saying stupid social things.
I was in a lunchroom with my LSE buddy and his boss was talking about the different kinds of bosses. He said, "Some bosses are more strict than others, some are more lenient." My LSE buddy looked up from his soup at his boss and said "And some bosses are assholes" and went back to his soup.
His boss's face turned beet red.
My LSE buddy didn't notice he'd said anything awkward at all.
Ah yes - all LSE are candyass boyscouts who dumb jocks and eII love them because they never do anything wrong on purpose
"My LSE buddy didn't notice he'd said anything awkward at all. "
sounds a lot more like being So last
or
not actually having Fe role
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...Stratiyevskaya
here's one profile - not even the greatest im sure but it is one
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Duality doesn't come with a guiding light. It's the only pairing where one partner is the least likely to tread on the others turf, and each provide processing perspectives that the other needs and fundamentally understands even though many will never acknowledge their blind spots. The attraction is intellectual but most never see beyond their own egos or hang-ups so perception frequently remains superficial, and physical appearance and attraction are separate issues that can easily reduce intellectual objectivity. Perception may deepen with age but many will remain myopic; most can find a mate but not a partner. Also, I've noted that dual pairings seem less common for the self-confident who think themselves already successful and having a partner isn't much of a consideration.
a.k.a. I/O
LSEs like the "classical feminine beauty", I've seen a lot of EIIs looking like that, I mean, long hair, cute dress, soft voice...that kind of stuff. LSEs also like the typical feminine traits, like cooking, decoration, kindness... the -I like to please others- kind of chick etc. LSEs males also like to portray the typical masculine attitudes and to be in charge (take all the decisions, etc). Not all the girls can stand that, enjoy pleasing others or have that kind of look. They also like to feel intellectually superior, so a know it all is not really their option.
The typical girl who would admire his intelligence, who would wait for him at home, while cook the dinner and fold his socks. If she has artistic tendencies and read about politics, its a plus.
Last edited by Mila; 08-01-2017 at 08:29 PM.
appearance uh sure they are all suuuuper attractive
behavior - they don't fuck things up with too much Fe ; they are not going to get in the way of sensory program or me taking action i want to take - outside of warnings or observations ; they monitor relationships more seriously and carefully
traits - you mean besides baking brownies ?
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
for a more serious and cross-gender list
appearance: stylish but conservative - often somewhat understated but generally not careless ; sometimes there is an element of 'not being perfectly done up' that some EIIs feel self conscious about yet for me (and I'd say most delta ST that are on the level) it's not a big deal at all - overt vanity or focus on appearance can be off putting even ; it's a difference between taking care of yourself and trying too hard and most EIIs seem to do the right balance naturally -IMO
behavior: a calmness and invitingness to 'share your world' as some profile says ; a sense of a moral compass ; and perhaps most of all a sense that relationships matter and the quality or that their meaning is important -- and that they actually act and live like it does
I think it is very easy for STs including delta STs to become lost in task orientation or the pursuit of certain objectives and feel like relational things loose relevance at times - this might be true for any 4D Te /1D Fi type - but for LSE their preferred method of being reminded often comes in the shape of EII's default settings ; someone who has strong intuition, is introverted and rational, and values Fi - is Fi dominant. In the negative sense, LSE can have trouble with internal meaning (NiFi things) and its expression into the real world and its relationships to others, outside of the practical or concrete concerns and achievements. So why EIIs work better is that they are the type most easily to actually see and link to their inner worlds without having things that get in the way -- for IEEs it can be their stronger 4D Fe and their lack of rationality about it ; for LII it's the lack of valuing Fi and their own want for Fe. EII is also more tolerable with TeSe being 4D from the LSE, as its done with valued, but rational, Si. So, EIIs in this sense have the most inherent staying power for close psychological distance. No, I don't think duality is magical, but I think mechanically speaking what I've described is why there is substance to it within the theory.
traits: considerate ; sensitive ; reliable ; dependable ; not prone to dramatics or making things more complicated than they should be ; generally 'intelligent' and thoughtful in approaching things ; not loud or obtrusive ; patient and tolerable of our shortcomings ;
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Honestly this mostly works for me.
I think there is a kind of unfair disparity gender wise because gender roles for male LSE are sooooo stereotypical, etc.
I don't expect anyone to fold my socks or "wait at home for me" - go out and live your life. But yeah artistic and creative NFs, intellecualism, "Bookish", nerdy, "educated",.... I think Belle from beauty and the beast - including the new one - works for all of that. Not that she is particularly having to be EII, but she exudes a lot of delta qualities, if not progressively so, but still fit with the above things.
Also not all LSE want to just "wear the pants all the time" in the sense of having a doormat for a partner, but I think externally and superficially it can be that way. I think for both delta NFs if not more so EII, they will tolerate or enjoy someone taking command in the pragmatic sense, but EIIs, when healthy, will only accept someone's "command" that is respectful and considerate... and generally open to growth or personal development.
Delta NFs.... tend to become frustrated if people can't show some growth. LSE that is in touch with himself and realizes things can do this. But it is absolutely the case that just because a dual is 'present' in your life, you will not grow just from their radiation.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I understand everything what you are saying (it sounds like something that my LSE dad would say), but you should know that most of my observations are satirical exaggerations and shouldn't be taken so seriously.
On the other hand, The Beauty and the Beast is my fav. princess tale but I didn't watch the movie because I hate Emma Watson and all her blurb and propaganda.
Last edited by Mila; 06-27-2017 at 09:14 AM.
Not all self-confident people are successful and not all successful people are self-confident. People who believe that they actually need help will spend more time looking for a true partner; one can call that lack of confidence or true insight. However, I've known many people who, even later in life, haven't looked for anything more than arm candy and or sexual gratification - both male and female. It just seems more prevalent among the so-called elite; 'need' drives the search for duality.
a.k.a. I/O
I would actually argue that EIIs are not naturally built for LSEs in terms of appearance/behavior/traits (nor are LSEs for EIIs, etc.). In my experience, it is usually the case that LSE does not really notice EII for a while. EII is usually nondescript, plain, quiet, unnoticed and gently supporting in social situations, while LSE is instinctively attracted to power, beauty, and status, people who are talking charismatically and in control. I also recall an obscure blog about an ESI and her LIE partner--she mentioned that at first he felt like he was "settling" for her because she was not as glamorous as the partners he was used to. I think something similar would apply to EII-LSE.
If EII shows dedicated interest and admiration (which does not always happen, because many EII/people in general aren't really attracted to their duals), only then does LSE start to take notice. This is true of romantic relationships or even same-gender platonic friendships (I literally drew a portrait of one of my classmates, an LSE woman, before we were friends). After this, what LSE likes is that EII is very genuine, guileless, honest, trustworthy, reliable. LSE likes feeling understood, and EII understands people better than most types. I also think LSE likes being reassured of his/her own morality, empathy, and compassion by EII for some reason, though that might be a post for another day.
In some ways, EII is naturally built for LSE, but in others ways, we are very much not built for LSEs. Some (perhaps lucky) people are naturally attracted to their dual, but I would argue this is not close to the majority.
I'd like to jump in and say LSE are extremely critical and some of this might show in their relations, incl. duality, however they're the hardest on themselves so someone who can bring them out of that near-funk in non-obtrusive ways is highly appreciated; I also agree with @UDP spot on about the search for meaning, ime.
I usually agree with the content of your posts and this too is thought-provoking, yet i'd like to disagree in so far as the bolded. Ime when they can't achieve perfection the LSE will strive for balance so they might decide to forgo the appearances for the sake of content to balance things out, if anything you might find them ending up with LII rather than someone who's got the bolded going for them (power, beauty, status, charisma etc)
I guess it would depend on the context. I was thinking more of an average LSE in a group social context, like a party, conference, or class. I don't think LSE would notice L/EII on such occasions unless they already became close from another previous context (or LSE is a socionist, heh ). You say "when they can't achieve perfection"--I've found that when LSE is frustrated, that might actually be when he turns to EII the most, as EII soothes his ego and reassures him. Theoretically I could see him going to LII too, though I haven't noticed this personally. Either way, when an LSE thinks he's hot shit, he thinks he deserves a more showy partner... Kind of like what @Rebelondeck was saying earlier in this thread about those who are more self-confident being less likely to end up with a dual.
Though, I balk at the suggestion that the search for a true partner is driven only by self-perceived need. I would prefer to think of it as driven by maturity since it is ultimately probably more fulfilling than just having arm candy/sex partners, though maybe diff types/people are fulfilled by diff things.
Maybe there's some kind of inverted U shape in duality-seeking as a function of confidence. The very low confidence people and very high confidence people are likely not as mentally healthy/mature as the more moderate confidence people (but maybe the peak is around a little above average confidence).
@Economist, one key sign of maturity is being able to distinguish ones actual needs from one desires. Many with ideal partners are not mature, and many without are. Yes, fulfillment is a perception.....
a.k.a. I/O
EIIs are so whiny and queer
I know this girl who is EII. Very pretty. But she's always "wah wah wah" "it's not right" "my morals are wounded" "I'm a butthurt snowflake"
Get a grip and toughen up
I understand the difference between Si- and Se-valuing in theory, but in practice, LSEs and SLEs have the same dimensionality to all their functions and live in "the same world" more than LSEs and EIIs do. In my first post in this thread, I acknowledged that EIIs might be "naturally built" for LSEs in more long-term scenarios, but I don't think EIIs are "naturally built" to catch the eye of LSEs in the short run. I would say the same of LIIs and LSEs. I'm not the first person to think this is a feature of duality.
@Cassandra, would appreciate hearing your thoughts on this matter if you have the time
Basically, Duals live in complementary but opposite worlds. LSEs primarily live in the world of and , same for SLEs. It's the ESTx world. Even though they value different things, the things they generally deal and concern themselves with on a daily basis will involve either something or related. Of course it may also involve something or related, to an extent (a certain subtype may influence them to the point of travelling to the world of their Creative (Contact subtype) or HA (Inert subtype) more often). But generally speaking, people are on some level characterized by their two strongest IMs, in terms of lifestyle and so forth (again, not entirely in terms of values or personal expression).
EIIs and IEIs live in the world of and . It's the opposite of the ESTx world. For Duals to meet each other, they either need to coincidentally meet in a general place like the grocery store, or through shared friends that have a closer tie to the other world, or deliberately venture out into the other world of their Dual – a world they are largely unfamiliar with, and most people tend not to go there.
So generally speaking, the meeting of Duals (and Conflictors for that matter) does not come "naturally" to the types. I'd be very skeptical of anyone claiming they meet their Dual quite often on a regular basis; they are probably mistyping themselves or their supposed "Duals". Because Duals live in different worlds, people are much more likely going to meet someone who is either in the same world as them or in a world that is more closely placed to theirs. (For example, I don't know any SLE closely IRL. If I didn't happen to have those types as family members, I wouldn't closely know an LSE, SEE, or ILE for that matter either. IRL, I meet leads and leads the least often from all the types. I come across ESIs and LSIs fairly often, though. They travel to the world of their Ni HA more, and that creates a meeting point.)
I'd say that the process of Dualization initially involves bridging that gap of being from opposite worlds. The Dual will seem both foreign and familiar. Irrationals tend to have an easier and faster time getting over that initial hurdle. Rationals are more skeptical and critical, for they tend to categorize and "judge" incoming information first.
In my experience, Irrationals with the Creative subtype tend to meet their Duals more often and earlier in life; the Creative subtype is more in touch with their DS, so that probably helps. On the other hand, Rationals with the Inert subtype tend to meet their Duals the least often and the latest in life. So generally speaking, Rational Duality is less common than Irrational Duality, and I've found that EII-LSE and LII-ESE duality are the two rarest Dual pairings.
How did you come to that conclusion? Your description of LSEs sounds suspiciously more like SLEs. LSEs are primarily oriented towards productivity more than anything else. Their flaws tend to be more related to anger than status orientation from what I've seen. And talking charismatically would be right? This seems like a very odd description of LSEs to be honest.
Additional Note: I mean anger mostly in the sense of frustration that things aren't running efficiently
Last edited by AbZero; 06-24-2017 at 11:46 PM.
the problem is beauty, power, status (especially the first) are almost "attractive" by definition
my latest theory is my dad is LSE and my mother is ESE and he was attracted to her precisely because of how she turned heads as well as her social status when they were young (they frequently tell stories saying this)
the thing is SLE is even moreso, so the words could apply to either/or and not be wrong but at the same time could also be misleading for the reasons you point out
the deal is too, they both have that 4d Te its just one is conscious and the other unconscious, anecdotally you could think of situations where they are both explicit or implicit in their actions so it comes down to nuance and trends over time. SLE extracts heightened benefit in what they do subconsciously via understanding things in a thorough Ti sense and proceeding accordingly, whereas LSE thinks explicitly about the Te factors and generally develops a Ti understanding as a consequence of his endeavors, etc
for my dad, when younger, you could also say he still had his 4d se moments; especially as a youngster, I think LSE comes off a little more SLE sometimes (not every time, some are responsible from the get-go but others, especially at a young age tend to be a little more wild)
the problem is people reference singular acts or situations because they really don't have time to write a novel and its true those atomic acts could be susceptible to more than one interpretation along typological lines
i really do think then that intuition of time becomes a strong factor in discerning type for the aforementioned reasons (stable patterns over time essentially are type, from the point of view of diagnosis)
Last edited by Bertrand; 06-24-2017 at 11:34 PM.
You have a point, sure LSEs will use their demonstrative. Though it seems a little problematic to infer general type traits from one specific instance. At that point you have to wonder whether the trait is type related or not. Maybe some are interested in social status and sure beauty seems pretty much universally appealing. It just seems a little strange to describe LSEs primarily through and (or at least what is associated with those functions).
Hm okay, I see.
You are lucky, then. You got closer to a Dual rather early on, either by luck or perhaps by knowing a Dual from your family? That supposedly helps with recognizing Duals, too.
Personally, I've never been primarily drawn to SLEs. I used to primarily crush on ESI celebrities and fictional characters (as well as the occasional ILI character), or whoever was the most popular in class that moment. Pretty shallow So/Sx stuff. The guys were usually Se ego, but not necessarily Se lead. None of them might have been Se lead, but I am not sure. Over time, it emerged that I had a thing for IEE guys too, and even later for ExFx guys in general (except for EIE for some reason). I've also liked SLE fictional characters and celebrities, but it was never really a "thing" for me, other types were more common; I'd primarily crush on either 3s or 7s who are usually ExFp or sometimes SLE, or on ESI 4s or 9s; once in a while I crush on an ESFx 6.
Those experiences and discovering the Imago concept, have made me realize that attraction to a Dual is not "built in", and that people tend to be the most attracted to those who are in their vicinity and match their Imago well enough. Perhaps your Imago happens to match SLE quite closely, so your attraction to them comes naturally. That is not really the case with me. I am pretty sure my childhood experiences and my LSE E3 father have contributed to me being primarily drawn to Te valuing 3s; then I am also attracted to Se valuing because I do value Se and "seek" it; and sometimes I am into the the occasional ESE (who can fake being like a warmer and "more ethical" pseudo-SLE), thanks to my ESE mother likely.
I guess.........................
I've always been very "heterosexual" about my attraction, even from early in life. I don't mean gender wise, I mean, attracted to things different than me. I've been physically attracted to some SLI women, but in general, ST women aren't appealing to me in their looks or their activities or presence. They feel similar to me and that's fine.
I was always drawn to for lack of better term, people who were emotionally intuitive. In large part, because I'm not. I have awareness, but I was very lopsided away from that. Even earlier in life when I was more reserved and repressed (and subsequently attracted more 4d Fe people), it was heavily slanted towards, outside of a few ENFx that I did get romantically close to, IXFx, basically. A large marjority of my long-standing friends are actually 4d Fi people.
The person I've been most attracted to in my entire life was EII and the runner up was actually in terms of physicality, LII and IEE, a tie probably.
Sure, I can see how in the most basic superficial way, LSE or any "typical male" will "overlook EIIs" easily, but....
EII have notorious "feeling overlooked" stuff that kind of fucks them up, IMO. They get depressed about this often, and seem to buy into the hype after certain amount of disappointments. My advice - don't buy into the negative hype.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I'm glad to see that you have a lot of respect for women and the depth of your thoughts. You are a great example of why ppl like Emma and her blurb is useless and the exact same reason of why I'm against that propaganda. Hypocrisy and a bunch of fans clapping like horny seals just because they like her face.
Last edited by Mila; 07-28-2017 at 07:22 AM.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
actually, seeing this again..
@Economist
"LSE is instinctively attracted to power, beauty, and status, people who are talking charismatically and in control"
That sounds so..... beta....? Or, enneagram 3?
I do like people that are doing significant things, but, that sounds mostly like an EII's worst fears about being inadequate than what I would say LSEs are 'instinctively attracted to".
I will differentiate noticing shiny things vs attraction. Do I notice all of the above? Sure I do. Is that what I want in a partner? Not necessarily. Beauty - why not. Charismatic talking? Less so. "status and power".... I don't feel they have much bearing on whether or not someone can give me what I want relationally.
Specifically "charismatic speaking" sounds unappealing. I don't want a PMA self-help motivational speaker 24/7, I think I'd rather be put off by that. I am not attracted to people who constantly try boost or alter my moods, I'm rather decidedly against that. That's probably what I like most about Fi dominants is that the are more "honest" even wrt their Fi and Fe ..... IEEs can be... more misleading or less concerned about the implication of some of their expressions. Etc etc etc. Anecdotes aside, I'm very ok with non-charismatic NFness that tends to come from EIIs.
I do notice a kind of "aversion to power" that EIIs have, which I think can be superficially offputting or weird in one sense. But what matters more to me, or what seems more the case, is that EIIs don't shirk their responsibilities. I think they might not necessarily "like" the pressure or spotlight of certain situations, but I've seen them be much steadier than most. I feel basically like if you offer them Se/Te support they will are very competent at organizing events, conducting research groups, planning trips, and everything else. If you keep people's petty pressures off of them, they seem to excel, even.
And regarding beauty,
I do know some LSE who are very stereotypical in their assessment of beauty.
I know some who aren't.
Again, I have been told and observed MANY EII who basically feel... inferior , whatever they do. They seem to point to an over idealized example of hair and makeup and perfect photographed smiles, and say oh I'm just not beautiful. A lot of people don't care if you don't put THAT much effort into things. I even prefer not to, to an extent. I don't like gaudy, over the top things. Subdued style, good taste, etc, that's always been more appealing .
I can understand how delta NFs might feel more pressure to "show" or "do more" than they have, but trust me in that anyone who is substantial enough for a deeper relationship will be able to see through that.
Also, as soon as someone understands that delta NFS are closeted hedonists, the cat is out of the bag. Outside of all their morality they like pleasure and like to be naked, too. I actually dated a delta NF woman who explained why she didn't buy a lot of fancy underwear was due to her simply not spending a lot of time with it on. I think there's an element of not-extensive effort about things, and that's fine.
I can agree that sure, there is, in the most superficial way, differences, between all of the duals even. But I don't think it means that "instinctively" people are drawn to very different things. I would think culture , enneagram, and some other factors play into the nature of attraction, more so, even.
Last edited by UDP; 07-28-2017 at 08:54 AM. Reason: because you're now #blessed for readings this
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
sometimes I cant tell if EII is hitting on some deeper truth I just can't comprehend
or they're simply arguing for its own sake
either way it seems like they want to fail or otherwise make things out to be impossible, and I just don't like or understand that tendency, as it appears to me, about them
I do think LSE gravitates more towards ESE and IEE as a rule though. I feel like LSE/ESE combo is relatively common
@Slugabed what would you type emma watson as?
I've never seen harry potter but I always thought emma seemed nice. im surprised you dont like her
i honestly dont have any ideas about her type since ive had very little exposure to anything of hers